Despite almost constant harassment from �straight� church-goers who continuously call down the sulfurous wrath of their god on infidels engaged in same-gender sex and co-habitation, more homosexuals are having marriage or �union� ceremonies in churches and synagogues to �make god a part of their relationship.�

Although 37 states have passed laws banning same-sex marriages, members of the clergy say they are seeing a growing number of religiously observant gay couples who are sidestepping the debate over legal rights and seeking to consecrate their unions in churches and synagogues.

�Yeah, I get about 10 requests a week to officiate at a gay marriage,� admitted Father Canon James Newman of St. Bede’s Episcopal Church in Los Angeles. �So we hook them up. It�s no big deal, really. Sure god will punish them for all eternity in a fiery lake of burning brimstone for playing on the wrong team, but in the mean time, I don�t see any reason to deny them the opportunity to pay us a huge fee for officiating over their union ceremony.�

Christian churches that permit gay blessing ceremonies, though sometimes with limitations, are the Unitarian Universalists, Disciples of Christ, United Church of Christ and the Metropolitan Community Churches. Among the Jewish branches, Reform and Reconstructionist rabbis have permission.

The remainder of churches in the United States have said �Not just no, but aitch-eee-double-hockey-sticks no!�

When asked to comment, most ultra-conservative Christians just gibbered and slobbered in fits of religious rage.