Hey, everybody’s talkin’ ’bout it; so why not continue with last week’s theme: It’s a gay, gay, gay world!

From the excellently named “Probe Ministries” of Leadership U (the faculty arm of Campus Crusade for Christ), we get Homosexuality: Nature, Nurture and Compassion, by Dr. Robert A. Pyne. Doc Pyne is trying to work out how the condemnation of stud-on-stud action fits into Xianity, and starts with some comment on our old friend, Leviticus 20: After all, it’s Old Testament, so although the Jews don’t get to enjoy the hot homo action, the Xians often don’t think those laws apply to them unless they are reaffirmed in the New Testament. As Doc Pyne opines, “we no longer offer the commanded blood sacrifices, and few believers think twice about eating a ham sandwich, no matter what the Old Testament law says… certain Old Testament principles are reaffirmed and reestablished in the New Testament, while others are left behind after the fulfillment of their expectation in Christ.”

And sadly, for the cock-loving Xian man, the apostle Paul would seem to reaffirm the prohibition against steaming man-on-man action. According to Doc Pyne, the apostle Paul “clearly regards homosexual practice as sin in his letters to the Romans (Rom. 1: 26-27) and to Timothy (1 Tim. 1:9-10). He says essentially the same thing in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11.”

So, we begin considering these passages today. Today, I’ll say a bit about the passage from Corinthians;, and then next Sunday, we’ll get to the others.

In 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Paul lumps homosexuality together with a bunch of other stuff that God’s kind of against — 10 things God will keep you out of heaven for:

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind; nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

“Abusers of themselves with mankind”? This is the King James version; apparently the original word is arsenokoi’tai, which, I’m told, is a combination of “man” (arseno) and “bedder” (koitai). But we apparently don’t know if it means “one who beds men” or “a man who beds others”. In fact, I turned up the following list of translations:

• The Latin Vulgate, (year 405), translates it as “masculorum concubitores”;
• Wyclif (1508) translates it as “synne of Sodom”;
• the Geneva Bible (1560) translates it as “bouggerers”;
• Bishops Bible (1586) translates it as “liers with mankinde”;
• King James Authorized Version (1611) translates it as “abusers of themselves with mankind”;
• Darby (1890) translates it as “abuse themselves with men”;
• Louis Segond (1910) translates it as “les infames”;
• Goodspeed Bible (1951) translates it as “given to unnatural vice”;
• Jerusalem Bible (French) (1955) translates it as “people with infamous habits”;
• Phillips (1958) translates it as “pervert”;
• the Amplified Version (1958) translates it as “those who participate in homosexuality”;
• the Jerusalem Bible (German) (1968) translates it as “child molesters”
• the Jerusalem Bible (English) (1968) translates it as “sodomites”;the Revised Standard Version (1971) translates it as “sexual perverts.”

Personally, I like something like “personal valet for a man” — you know, somebody who helps you get ready for bed among other things. And I don’t really know why you want to keep them out of heaven, but whatever.

In any case, (a) even if arsenokoi’tai is about hot steamy man-on-man action, it’s been placed in the same sin category as getting drunk, coveting what’s not yours, and acting fey — not exactly the big “abominations” of the sinning world. And (b), it’s not at all clear that it means gay sex anyway.

Why doesn’t God say what he means? You know, like “don’t put dicks in your mouth”? What could be clearer? Personally “abusers of themselves with mankind” sounds like circle jerkin’ to me.

Next week: Romans (Rom. 1: 26-27) and Timothy (1 Tim. 1:9-10).