More on Dumb-Ass Teen Believers. Bob pulls the right thumb-up-the-ass social scientist line out of it:

The research found that devout teens hold more traditional sexual and other values than their nonreligious counterparts and are better off in emotional health, academic success, community involvement, concern for others, trust of adults and avoidance of risky behavior.

Geez, here’s a possibility: American parents largely have traditional “beliefs”. On average, if you’re really well connected to your parents, you’re less likely to even seriously consider rejecting their religion — at least until some atheist professor shows you the light. So “emotional connectedness” would correlate with religious belief — at least, in a culture where the significant majority of parents are (at least nominally) believers.

I mean, come on, who should be surprised that teens that have better relationships with their parents would be more likely to both (a) accept their parents “religious beliefs” and (b) be inclined to be “better off in emotional health, academic success, community involvement, concern for others, trust of adults and avoidance of risky behavior”. Thing is, if most parents were atheists, you’d likely get exactly the same correlation: Teens with better relationships with their parents would likely both share their parents’ atheism, and be “better off” by those other measures.

I fucking hate spurious correlation shit.