My sign: STOP
31 December 2005 by Sean
Okay. I know Our Rockstar already posted a great link on this annoying subject (also see the chapter “Li’l Ol’ Me and the Stars” in John Allen Paulos’ masterful “Innumeracy”), but I live in California and this shit hits me every day. Yup, we shun Xianity and all that other superstitious bullshit here in San Francisco, but some of my smartest friends still believe in fucking astrology as if it is some kind of goddamn science, like psychobiology, that we have yet to fully understand.
Three times today I heard somebody, in a serious tone — as if the question even fucking mattered — ask somebody what their sign is. On all three occasions, the question, once answered, was met with an “Ahhh. Totally. I can totally see you as a (fill in the bullshit astrological sign).”
Well jumpin’ fucking Je-ho-si-fat, where the hell is this rule book everyone in hippie-dippie California besides me seems to have a copy of? I have lived here nearly fourteen years and I have yet to see the gawdamn thing. Nor have I heard a single fucking person give me a reasonably coherent rundown of the personality types they associate with each sign.
It is always just “Aw, yeah, dude… You’re a total fuckin’ Cancer. Right on. My ex was a Cancer. She smoked all my pot. But you’re not like that, dude. It must be cuz you’re on the cusp and all. Fuckin’ Leos, man. You’re a total fuckin’ Leo, man. Except you’re not bossy ‘n shit like other Leos, man. But my sister’s a Leo and she’s not bossy, either. But she’s also on the cusp, man. Ain’t that a fuckin’ trip, dude? You’re both on the cusp, man. What are the fuckin’ odds of that? Maybe you’d make a good couple, dude. No, yo, yo. Serious time, dude! You could be, like, yin and yang ‘n shit. You want her number, dude? Just make sure you have some 420 on you when you hang out and you will totally get laid. She’s got that Leo sexual aggression shit goin’ on sometimes, dude. But kinda more in an Aquarian way. Kinda like our mom. My sister rocks. What, dude? You’re not a Cancer? What did you say before? I thought you said you was a Cancer. Sorry, the music is really loud. Oh shit. I must be totally stoned. You’re a Capricorn? Oh, shit. My bad. That totally makes so much more sense. For a second I was, like, ‘What, this dude is a fuckin’ Cancer, man?’ Nah, that’s cool. Yeah, I’m a Pisces myself. You know how we are ‘n shit. Heads in the stars and all that. Haha.”
All contradictions: ignored.
All coincidences: highly significant.
All logic: absent.
31 December 2005, on 12:20 am
I live in San Francisco too. It sounds like we’re met some of the same people.
31 December 2005, on 12:24 am
Hey, it’s the Skeptico in person. Yeah. It is so frustrating here that you meet someone and they seem to have perfectly good critical thinking skills, and after two hours of great conversation, they ask what your sign is. And your respect for them totally deflates like a punctured raft.
31 December 2005, on 1:47 pm
I don’t believe in the zodiak, but it’s fun to fit personality types into a box and compare them against others. Does every action have to be logical and based in absolute reality? Just be goofy sometime, it’s ok, the world won’t end:)
31 December 2005, on 2:16 pm
Sean,
When’s your birthday again?
I have to say that I have fun with the astrology signs. I don’t obssess over it, but like Dan said, does every action have to be logical and based in absolute reality?
31 December 2005, on 3:13 pm
It’s okay if you just have fun messin’ around with that kind of stuff, but there are actually some (hopefully fringe) people that take this stuff very seriously, some even telling their kids that they’re going to have shitty lives because they were born under such and such. I wish I could remember where I saw that, it may have been the two-percent co. Not sure.
31 December 2005, on 3:37 pm
Your long paragraph before the final three sentences is hysterical. I love it. Thanks for the New Year’s treat. Catherine
31 December 2005, on 3:58 pm
I just want to remind everyone that this country was once run, at least to some extent, by an astrologer. And the American public voted for it, twice. Happy New Year!
31 December 2005, on 4:04 pm
Charles Miller wrote about this a while back. Very funny, typical sag.
http://fishbowl.pastiche.org/2004/07/15/the_fault_dear_brutus_lies_not_in_our_stars_but_in_ourselves
31 December 2005, on 5:13 pm
I am actually a Leo/Cancer cusp, just like in my goofy paragraph (thanks, Catherine!). As if it means anything. I often tell people I am another sign just to hear them say “Oh, yeah, that’s totally you.” It always seems to totally match what they think about me, what they think about that sign, etc. But astrologists aren’t even consistent about how they describe each sign.
I don’t have a problem with people having fun with the zodiak. I do have a problem when I hear someone say that they didn’t go on a second date with someone because they were such-and-such sign and once they found that out, they knew they’d never be compatible. That’s messed up.
Personally, I’d like to think that I am being judged based on character, and not some whacky meaningless mumbo-jumbo somebody made up about who I am supposed to be at birth based on natal data I had no control over whatsoever. Good people spend their lives trying to become better people; building their character, treating others with kindness.
It seems to me disrespectful to a person who has tried to live their lives in an upright way to just say to them “Oh, you’re this sign, so you’re supposed to be this.” That just discounts everything tangible that individual has worked toward and puts a label on them.
And yes, it’s really scary when people are running the country based on the advice of their astrologist.
My two cents on the dangers of magical thinking.
31 December 2005, on 5:17 pm
(by the way, I meant magical thinking as in delusional thinking, not imaginative thinking, which is fine)
Happy New Year, gang!
31 December 2005, on 6:09 pm
Koz: that Charles Miller post is hilarious. Thanks for sharing it.
1 January 2006, on 3:01 pm
It’s the Forer effect.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forer_effect
Just thought someone ought to mention it.
3 January 2006, on 10:14 am
These people are frauds and kooks. Honest people go to astrologers for advice and base their life decisions on complete bullshit.
Playing around with astrology, psychics, I-ching, tarot cards, fortune cookies or whatever other silly baseless toy you want is fine as long as you remember it is completely made up.
Some bitch tried to convince me astrology works and then told me I had to buy a “power pendulum”. Total con.
3 January 2006, on 12:50 pm
“I have to say that I have fun with the astrology signs.”
So do I. It’s funny to point out the ways I am not like my sign (Libra, if you’re wondering) whenever friends of mine who do take it seriously try to tell me I’m a “total libra”.
“I don’t obssess over it, but like Dan said, does every action have to be logical and based in absolute reality? ”
If it’s something you’re using to help make decisions about life, yes, it does. Or rather, it should. But to just have fun with - of course not.
3 January 2006, on 2:49 pm
That’s so weird - I was thinking about doing an astrology post today, since ID and astrology are the same scientifically speaking (even according to Michael Behe!).
Of course, astrology has one up on ID; it makes testable predictions. Those predictions always fail (so it’s bullshit), but at least it even does that!
3 January 2006, on 4:38 pm
Rockstar said:
That’s so weird - I was thinking about doing an astrology post today.
Musta been, like, karma or something.
3 January 2006, on 4:54 pm
No, Jupiter was in Sagittarius
3 January 2006, on 9:56 pm
Yeah, I’m not too big on Astrology myself. I haven’t gotten into it more than just reading my horoscope occassionally in the Variety section of the newspaper. Although, I did borrow a set of Medicine Cards and book from my dad on Christmas this year.
I willingly admit that I have used them. Not in such a manner that I’m trying to get some guy to like me, or find an answer to my financial strifes. Nor am I relying on this type of mystical magic.
What I have found about doing my medicine cards is that it allows me to meditate more on my life, to reflect and evaluate what it is that I may be doing wrong, OR what I can do to be a better person. Does that make sense?
In either case, I’m not some looney that runs rabid, foaming at the mouth claiming that this book and cards are the answer to all of lifes problems. However, like I stated before, for me, this type of thing allows me to delve a little deeper within myself versus reading the Bible, which confuses me beyond confusion.
Happy Effing New Year BTW.
4 January 2006, on 7:15 am
Rockstar said:
I suppose I’m not doing a good job in the Land of Make-Believe and shoehorning these predictions into what happened to me yesterday. I guess my mind doesn’t work that way. Probably because I’m not a mopey, fat 40 year old divorced woman holding a power crystal hoping to find Mr. Right. (Feel free to e-mail me though, baby, I’m Mr. RIGHT NOW)
Damn, dude. You’re even more ruthless on your own blog. I was dyin’. F’ing hilarious.
4 January 2006, on 9:10 am
LOL man. That’s an earlier article - we’re a little less biting now…just a little
4 January 2006, on 2:54 pm
Dena: I am glad you see the Bible as confusing, because I sure do, too. If you are using your cards as a form of meditation and self-reflection, I see nothing wrong with that. Happy new year to you!