Kansas is going apeshit over a recent Rolling Stone article about our own dear senator Sam Brownback. The article, God’s Senator, details Brownback’s rise to power in the US senate and his “visionary” dream of a xian America (websites like this would be considered a moral affront and probably shut down):

“He began to suspect that the problem with government wasn’t just too many taxes; it was not enough God.”

Also examined is his involvement in a clandestine Capitol Hill xian group called “The Fellowship”:

“They were striving, ultimately, for what Coe calls “Jesus plus nothing” — a government led by Christ’s will alone. In the future envisioned by Coe, everything — sex and taxes, war and the price of oil — will be decided upon not according to democracy or the church or even Scripture. The Bible itself is for the masses; in the Fellowship, Christ reveals a higher set of commands to the anointed few. It’s a good old boy’s club blessed by God.”

The “Constitution Restoration Act”:

“The most bluntly theocratic effort, however, is the Constitution Restoration Act, which Brownback co-sponsored with Jim DeMint, another former C Streeter who was then a congressman from South Carolina. If passed, it will strip the Supreme Court of the ability to even hear cases in which citizens protest faith-based abuses of power.”

The “Value Actions Teams” which opposes hate crime legislation for attacks because of sexual oreintation is another one of Brownback’s pet groups. They believe that “the hate-crime bill would lead, inexorably, to the criminalization of Christianity.” No shit.

I’ve asked a couple of people around my area if they had voted for Brownback and why; the most common answer I had was along the lines of “He knows jizzus and is a proper bible thumpin’ guy who’ll get rid of the fags and the commies and the jews and the atheists and the muslims and yadda yadda yadda.”

I’m glad I’ll be voting in this state for a while. I will have the ability to bring some secular, unbiased information to my little burg. Unfortunately I don’t think I’ll be able to make it all stick.

Brownback is apparently also priming himself for a stab at presidential candidacy (*shiver*) and if not a contender, according to the article, will have a huge effect on the outcome and future policies of the new prez.

The article is quite long, but is totally enthralling.

Get me the fuck out of this state.

Slainte!

Have you been following the growing furor in the Muslim world over a Danish publication’s decision to run a series of political cartoons, some of which depicted Mohammed? According to oh-so-forgiving Islam, even flattering portrayals of “The Prophet” are, of course, blasphemy.

Fuck. When I look at Islam’s stranglehold over the (admittedly) desperate people of the Middle East, I see just how ugly shit could get here if the Xian extremists have their way and keep stoking the fires of religious ignorance and hatred.

Say it now and say it proud, GifSters: “I despise religion — all religions — and what they stand for. You can have your dumbfuck beliefs, but I don’t have to live by them or respect them.”

Some days I really fear a great clash of religious maniacs is upon us, like the Crusades. *Shudder*. Someone say something positive about all this, puhleeze!

Report: 8M With Birth Defects Each Year

WASHINGTON Jan 30, 2006 — About 8 million children worldwide are born every year with serious birth defects, many of them dying before age 5 in a toll largely hidden from view, the March of Dimes says.

Enough said.

Police: Dead children laid side by side

Inside the home, the officers found the bodies of the children, ages 6 to 8, lying side by side on a bed, said Chris Brackett, an investigator with the Sevier County Sheriff’s Office. [...] A family priest who visited Mendez in a hospital Saturday night described a woman experiencing profound sorrow. “She has tremendous remorse. She is deeply sorry,” the Rev. Salvador Marquez-Munoz said Sunday before entering St. Barbara Catholic Church for Mass. “She asked for our prayers and forgiveness because she is realizing how much she has hurt the community, as well.” [...] He described her as a quiet, devout woman concerned about her children’s welfare. She was not working, and her husband was supporting the family with a job in New York, he said. She and the children never missed Sunday services and attended religious education classes.

Seeing these stories always makes me ask: “Hey, we’re really just skewing the data, right? I mean, there are just as many atheists going around killing kids in America, and we’re purposely not posting those stories — right?”

Yes, I’m sure that must be right. I’ll stop ignoring all of those other atheist-killing-kids stories, and make my postings balanced.

Sorry for the purely political post, but after noticing, thanks to Catherine, that fuckwad Dubya is about to launch another moronic domestic policy that is once again the exact opposite of what is needed, I had to blow off a little steam by getting silly.

INT. FAMILY THEATER, UNITED STATES WHITE HOUSE - DAY

GW stands at attention in front of a makeshift podium. There is a teleprompter two inches from his face. Since no one but LAURA and TURD BLOSSOM are in attendance, he has been allowed to wear his cheerleader’s outfit and suck on a lollipop.

The scene unfolds.

GW: (reading from teleprompter) My fellow ‘Mericans.

TURD BLOSSOM: That’s Americans, Georgie. Try again.

GW: My fellow ‘Mericans.

LAURA: You know he hates this part.

TURD BLOSSOM: I know, but you would think after nearly six years of training…

GW: Shut up, all right? Jeez. Excuse my French. I can do it.

TURD BLOSSOM: Go ahead.

GW: My fellow ‘Mericans.

TURD BLOSSOM: Georgie… Aaaah…

GW: Ah…

TURD BLOSSOM: Mere….

GW: Mere.

TURD BLOSSOM: Eeeee…

GW: Eeeee.

TURD BLOSSOM: Cans.

GW: (long beat) ‘Mericans.

TURD BLOSSOM: Oh, to hell with it.

GW: Oh, to hell with it.

TURD BLOSSOM: No, I mean, I give up. Just read the damn speech.

GW: Just read the damn speech.

LAURA: It’s okay, baby… You just go right ahead. Don’t listen to mean ol’ Karl.

GW: I need a drink.

LAURA: Mommy will have some milk for you later, smoochie-pooh.

GW: Thanks, mommy.

LAURA: And we’ll pluck your unibrow tomorrow.

TURD BLOSSOM: Hey, that’s my job!

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We all lamented the loss of seven adopted children (and their grandfather) in Florida this past week… Preparing to go to church, they died a fiery death, apparently because it was time for Merciful Gawd to call them home.

But let’s not fool ourselves. Just because this got a lot of press in ‘Merica, doesn’t mean Gawd isn’t calling his children home every day, throughout the world, in a fantastically imaginative variety of ways.

Katowice

Bad [God!] Reichenhal

You go, Gawd. Get down with your mysterious self.

From the second draft of “Manhunter”, Michael Mann’s 1986 film based on Thomas Harris’ “Red Dragon”, (screenplay available on the Webernet):

LECTER
I want to help you, Will. You’d be
more comfortable if you relaxed with
yourself. We don’t invent our
natures, They’re issued to us.
Along with our lungs and pancreas
and everything else. Why fight it?

GRAHAM
Fight what?

LECTER
When you were so depressed after
you shot Mr. Garrett Jacob Hobbs to
death, it wasn’t the act that got
you down. Didn’t you really feel
so bad because killing him felt so
good?
(ironic)
And why shouldn’t it feel good?! It
must feel good to God. God does it
all the time!

Graham laughs. Then he starts to listen closely. There is
something here for him:

GRAHAM
I don’t believe in God.

LECTER
You should, Will. God’s terrific!
(beat)
He dropped a church roof on thirty-
four of His worshippers in Texas last
Wednesday night. Just as they were
grovelling to Him and singing a hymn.
Don’t you think that felt good?
(beat)
He wouldn’t begrudge you two measly
murders.

GRAHAM
Why does it feel good?

LECTER
It feels good because: if you do as
God does, enough times, you become
as God is: powerful…

Will Graham thinks about this.

LECTER
God’s a champ! He got a hundred and
sixty Filipinos in one plane crash
two months ago… Remember the big
earthquake in Italy last spring…?

So I’m doing my ‘05 taxes in TurboTax and I get to the deductions part. A message comes up and says Complete this section if you earned this income for religious employment (clergy, nonclergy, religious sect) Explain This

I clicked on the “explain this” link and got the following:

Clergy, Nonclergy Religious Employment, or Member of Recognized Religious Sect

Clergy Employment is:

- Ministers: individuals who are duly ordained, commissioned, or licensed by a religious body constituting a church or church denomination;

- Members of Religious Orders: this includes individuals who have taken the vow of poverty and those who have not. The most common religious orders are those of the Catholic Priests, Catholic Nuns, and Buddhist Monks.

- Christian Science Practitioners and Readers: Christian Science practitioners are members in good standing with the Mother Church, The First Church of Christ Scientist, in Boston Massachusetts, who practice healing according to the teachings of Christian Science. Christian Science readers are considered the same as ordained, commissioned or licensed ministers.

So the snake oil salesmen who read the Bible and Mrs. Eddy’s whackadoo “Science and Health” book — and receive lesson-sermons sent by the “Mother Church” (anything to do with Farrakhan’s nutball “Mother Wheel”?) — then disseminate this garbage to innocent men, women, and yes, children… these yo-yos get tax breaks? For telling people not to go to the fucking doctor?

I mean, giving people tax breaks for lying to others has always offended me in the first place, and yes, I realize this isn’t news or anything. But after having read a bunch about “Christian Science” fairly recently and seeing it shoved in my face while I was paying the government money so they can fund more “faith-based” charities, this just kinda irked me a wee tad. These waterheads don’t just lie to their flock about their make-believe world, they inspire people not to seek medical help when they might actually need it. And they get a tax break for that?

The below is copied from a couple of Amazon reviews of “Science and Health.” Tragic.

–

Christian Science Is Killing My Mother, December 8, 2004
Reviewer: Guy in Ohio “Guy in Ohio” (Westerville, Ohio United States) - See all my reviews
Last stage of cancer, will seek no treatment, courtesy of Mary Baker Eddy’s self-serving ideologies. I’ve studied CS to try to better undestand my mother, but all I found were half truths, contextual lies, and a cherry-picking of the Bible.

Another reviewer stated, “Avoid this book like the plague…It will kill you”

Folks, you have no idea how true that is…

Amazon needs a zero-star rating reserved for poisonous products.

Was this review helpful to you? YesNo (Report this)

16 of 33 people found the following review helpful:
An Evil & Deadly Work of Insanity, October 21, 2004
Reviewer: Douglas Keith McEwan (Reseda, California United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)
One star only because this worthless mass of insane rantings can’t be given no stars. I had the misfortune to be raised in the Christian Science church. I had 18 years of Christian Science Sunday school, and my grandmother was a journal-listed Christian Science Practitioner. I was forced by my parents to study this evil book every day of my childhood and teen years, and I was denied all medical care because of it’s nonsensical strictures. I was not even allowed pain-relievers. No asperin for a headache or a muscle sprain. Just endure the agony until it clears up on it’s own. It was MONSTROUS!
Mother read aloud to me from it EVERY MORNING over breakfast the first 18 years of my life. I know this book backward and forward, and it makes just as much sense backwards as forwards.
This book is nothing more than the insane ravings of a lunatic! And it is DEADLY. The moronity of this book killed my parents and my grandparents. Let me reiterate that. They DIED because they followed the “Teachings” of this EVIL book!
The basic tenant of Christian Science, to be found in this book, and chanted at me in church every week for 18 miserable years, is “There is no life, truth or intelligence in matter. All is Infinate Mind and It’s ininite manifestations.” In other words: Nothing that exists is real. Only what doesn’t exist, exists. It’s textbook insanity, a complete denial of reality.
There is no life, truth or intelligence in this book or it’s insane authoress, the evil, morphine-riddled (Though she denied morphine to her followers. A hypocrite as well as insane.) Mary Baker Eddy.
Avoid this book as you would the plague. It will kill you if you let it.
It’s also very badly written.
Enjoy.

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Most schools in improvement connecticut home loan States have prohibited improvement connecticut home loan s in the classroom, due to the large number of class disruptions that result from their use, and the potential for cheating via text messaging.

Once again, I think we have a good companion to the “Why Are You So Angry?” post…

Pharmacists Sue Over Birth Control Policy

EDWARDSVILLE, Ill. - Four pharmacists who refused to sign a pledge promising to dispense the morning-after birth-control pill sued Walgreen drug stores Friday, alleging they were illegally fired. The lawsuits accuse Walgreen Co. of violating the Illinois Health Care Right of Conscience Act. The pharmacists were being represented by the American Center for Law and Justice, a public-interest group founded by evangelist Pat Robertson.

Now, I’ve tried to show how fucking stupid and illogical this is in another post, as did other people.

Enough with the xian bullshit already. Just don’t work as a pharmacist if you foresee a conflict. Other people have to sign Conflict of Interest statements all the time at their jobs. Just do one here when you’re applying for a job as a pharmacist. As with any other C.I. statement, if you can’t perform your duties, then you shouldn’t be there in the first place.

Oh, I’m sorry, that’s right, I forgot: that won’t work here BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING XIANITY. And xians aren’t really being assholes, but just following their consciences…right?