Do the limbo
3 January 2006 by Ron
You may have seen the news that those Krazy Katholics are planning to get rid of the Wacky World of Limbo (see, for example, “Limbo consigned to history books“). Limbo, as you may recall, is that eternal afterlife holding pen for those — primarily, unbaptized babies, and those who never had the opportunity to hear the Good News that Jesus died for our sins — who don’t have the official clearance for heaven, but for whom hell seems, you know, kind of harsh. And for pretty much my whole memory, there’s been a sense of a kind of metaphysical embarrassment about limbo. Apparently, that embarrassment is coming to a head, and is about to be popped like a big theological zit.
Trouble is, it’s not limbo that’s the problem — it’s the other parts of Xianity that seem to require it. After all, original sin means we’re all born dirty, and have to be cleaned the baptismal water of forgiveness in order to not be condemned, right? And unbaptized babies (and those who never have the opportunity to hear The Word — depends on how liberal you are) are uncleansed. As a tactic of fear and manipulation, you understand this doctrine — you can’t just opt out, and better get yourself and your offspring under the watchful eye and cleansing magic of your local priest, or you’re totally screwed for all eternity. But once your put this dogma in your pack, you have the obvious moral tension: Even if you think rejecting the Big Invisible Friend should condemn you to hell, it’s hard to think that those who never have even the opportunity to do so (those babies and nice ignorant heathens again) should be tortured in eternal hell-fire by a decent and caring Daddy. 
So, original sin plus babies and nice but ignorant heathens bring to the surface the moral horror of the script according to Jehovah: Nice people who’ve done nothing wrong and have not turned their backs on God in any way being send to eternal torture and damnation. And that’s, to most people with a shred of the moral law within them, really bad, and make God look like a horrible, immoral, and arbitrary dictator.
So, the Krazy Katholic solution of limbo — “hey, we’ll just make and exception for them, and let them have a peaceful if not heavenly post-death” — isn’t the wacky part. In fact, it makes pretty good sense, if you’re already committed to the absurd “original sin” idea (which is both central and — as noted above — instrumental to the Xian way), but can’t quite get yourself to morally embrace the eternal torture of utter innocents. Add even the tiniest grain of moral sense to the nihilistically foul doctrine of original sin, and you need something like limbo.
And as for all those previous infallible Popes who seemed to endorse limbo, I leave it to the Vatican to work out the apologetic line: Different parallel universes? Used to be limbo, but God decommissioned it in the metaphysical retooling? God goes back in time, and keeps himself from inventing limbo?
Like I say: Maybe limbo isn’t the problem.
3 January 2006, on 12:00 pm
If the principles of the Christian faith are dictated by God, how can humans keep re-writing them?
3 January 2006, on 12:11 pm
It’s not the hell for unbelievers and innocents thats the problem, it’s hell-an infinite torture for any finite crime thats the problem.
So in essense it’s all rather mundane.
3 January 2006, on 12:55 pm
GH: Absolutely. The idea of an infinite torture for any crime definitely falls under cruel and unusual punishment.
3 January 2006, on 1:05 pm
The idea of an infinite torture for any crime definitely falls under cruel and unusual punishment.
Especially if it’s solely based on the fact you don’t believe there is a god; one who is so vain he needs constant reminder of your belief in him.
3 January 2006, on 3:01 pm
Hell: an “infinite torture for any crime”
That would have to be the greatest deterrent for sin ever devised. I can’t imagine anything worse. Funny thing though, it doesn’t seem to be working.
3 January 2006, on 3:22 pm
I always wanted to end up in Limbo.
I figured it would be a bit cold and depressing, like winter in the city. But I don’t mind the winter – as long as I’ve got a warm jumper etc and you’d probably get used to it for a while.
You’d also get to meet lots of nice heathens and there’d be a great deal of diversity and history in the place (seeing as its all heathens from all past times). You wouldn’t have to worry about starving or working – because you couldn’t die again – so you could just spend your time sitting round and talking to people.
For me, heaven is just full of Christians – a mono culture without diversity – which would be very depressing after the second week.
It’s a shame they’re closing it down.
3 January 2006, on 5:34 pm
Well, since the subject came up…..
Eternal hell was invented by St. Augustine around the year 500 ad. What had always been considered a place of purging of sin before heaven became what is now referred to as eternal Hell. The concept of Limbo and pergatory were later contrivances to try and balance what scripture was saying. Most modern translations translate the greek word aion and aionos as forever and eternal, when it actually is a word we get our english word “eon” from. Eon as we all know is not infinity, and neither was aion, it simply meant age. It’s a long complicated story, but rest assured, if anyone truly cares, there is a lot of info out there trying to undo St. Augustine’s concept, and St Jerome’s poor translation of this particular greek word. Anyway, like I said, if ya care, the info is out there…google aion, go to the bookstore, etc. If ya don’t care, well, ok, that’s cool too:)
3 January 2006, on 5:56 pm
I vote for “don’t care”.
4 January 2006, on 2:08 am
LOL, Rockstar. You kill me.
And David: yes, I bet the orgies are a hell of a lot more fun in Limbo (or were, before they shut it down) than in Heaven.
On the same note, for a film that created a lot of contention, and that I highly recommend to anyone who is up for a cinematic roller coaster ride, check out The Rapture.
4 January 2006, on 7:09 pm
Jayzuz …. if I was a Catholic or a Christian I’d be so embarassed…..this just shows that the morons are making this shit up as they go along….
6 January 2006, on 6:00 pm
It is embarassing Bob, trust me. That is why I don’t follow fundy or mainstream Catholic Christianity. But I ama christian nevertheless.
5 March 2006, on 5:30 pm
I am a christian, I do not believe in LIMBO, a child does not have the mental capacity to fathom the desision of whether to follow god. therefore all children under that maturity age will go to heaven. As for everyone else. We are born into sin, thanks to our ancestors adam & eve, and god is not punishing us by sending us to hell, he wants to save us from it, we have all sinned, we all need saving, our eternal destination is unfortunatley Hell. However God wants us to be with him, so for that reason he gave us free will, the choice to do things your own way or his way, the choice is yours. choose wisely…you never know……it could be the last desision you ever make….you could die tonight, or tommorow…. Are you that sure on the whole heaven and hell thing that you are willing to risk an eternal hell? like i said, choode wisely, its not gods choice to throw people into hell, it was there own choice to begin with.