Assembly of God Freaks Build Obnoxiously Huge Cross
26 February 2006 by Marcus
An Assembly of God church (already not known to be the most stable xians) in Terra Haute, Indiana has built a huge friggen cross out of bridge beams. Neighbors, predictably, have begun complaining that the “thing” will devalue their property. No shit. Among the more memorable of the quotes comes this stellar observation from their cult Underboss Keith Taylor (looks like a friggen’ pedophile, eh?):
“In the age that we are living in and with the city facing addictions with meth, we felt it was God’s timing to assert a little more presence in the city. It is quite an eye-catcher. Travelers can see that somebody’s not ashamed of the cross and the Gospel”
To be fair, they no longer call their church an Assembly of God, but a Cross Tabernacle; well, whatever makes them happy, but shit taste like shit even if it’s called “sugar”. Of course, I couldn’t stop laughing at “The cross has a small, flashing red light on top to attract attention” and the fact that they will be illuminating it at night. I think that the lighting will make the giant S&M fetish look even slightly more silly than the inevitable vandalism and I hope to have photos of that when it happens!
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26 February 2006, on 1:13 pm
Shit, I’d like them to explain how having that thing in your face is less likely to turn people to drugs.
26 February 2006, on 1:22 pm
This is my first time by your site and I love it! As a fellow atheist blogger, I agree with pretty much every damn thing you have to say.
Coincidentally, I am going to be taking a road trip to Terre Haute soon. I’m gonna have to have my picture taken in front of this giant cross. Hah!
Feel free to come on over to my blog when you get a chance. All are welcome!
26 February 2006, on 1:40 pm
It’s zoned as an accessory building?!? Like a shed or a garage or a potting shed? Aren’t buildings things that people are supposed to be able to go inside of or put things in? Surely they were able to show that a person can store a lawn mower or actually go inside a metal beam. Why, that would be a miracle!
I take it the sign ordinance never would have allowed this half-a-laundry-line-for-Paul-Bunyan contraption to be erected.
26 February 2006, on 2:04 pm
Sigh. That’s nothing. Any who have driven down I-40 in Memphis would see the local Southern Baptist eyesore has three huge (100ft+) crosses that you can see from miles away and are lit at night.
26 February 2006, on 2:04 pm
“Aren’t buildings things that people are supposed to be able to go inside of or put things in?”
Well, I mean, you could like, hang around on it.
26 February 2006, on 2:22 pm
Sorry to double post, but I have a little more to say, looking at the picture, it really doesn’t look that big (and yes, I see the little people and cranes for scale). I mean, the church I used to go to when I was a kid had a big-ass metal thing (not entirely a cross, part of it is supposed to be the crown of thorns or some shit) that was twice the height of the building (and we aren’t talking about some little church house, this was a decent sized building) maybe where I’m from I’m just used to big ass church displays. Really, the big ass Jesus billboards that say shit like “Have you found Jesus?” or “Accept Jesus into your life” are more annoying. Maybe they’re still in the proccess of standing the cross upright, but it looks like it’s leaning back a little. It would be funny if it fell over.
26 February 2006, on 2:33 pm
“Well, I mean, you could like, hang around on it.”
Hoo boy was that a good one.
26 February 2006, on 2:39 pm
Gee if this isnt’t the same thing as all the yellow ribbons and support the troop emblems. Magically, just the mere presence of a symbol makes troops safer and kids quit drugs. Gawd doing his thing in his own mysterious way I suppose. Sure would be nice if the god damned things actualy WORKED!
26 February 2006, on 2:41 pm
manxome said:
I take it the sign ordinance never would have allowed this half-a-laundry-line-for-Paul-Bunyan contraption to be erected.
Hehe. You said “erected.”
Oh, shit. The psychology behind Xianity is suddenly revealed. It’s a giant penis cult. This explains everything.
26 February 2006, on 2:43 pm
Welcome, Jim! The animated images on your blog are a kick, btw.
26 February 2006, on 2:51 pm
Ack! That guy Keith Taylor and whatever is that’s attached to him in that picture looks sick! Gave me the creepy crawlies just looking at his smile.
By the way, why does an omnipotent gawd need somebody to build monstrosities like this? Where’s the love? As Carl Sagan once pointed out, let him etch a giant fuckin’ cross on the surface of the moon for all of humanity to see. That would settle the damn argument, wouldn’t it? I mean, what is one little moon in all the universe? Surely this is a millisecond’s work for a supreme being, right?
Why hasn’t he done it?
Because, to quote Lya, he’s not there.
26 February 2006, on 3:34 pm
Of course, there are more extreme things out there (hell- the Giant Jesus of Corcovado and the Giant Jesus of Monroe, Ohio are crazier) but the excitement is in seeing community members, including xian members, openly disgusted and against the thing. After the Nazi rally in Orlando was washed out by protestors, this was the next story I read today that gave me a happy chuckle.
26 February 2006, on 4:10 pm
Marcus said:
and the Giant Jesus of Monroe, Ohio are crazier
Ok, I’m going to have to plan a day trip to see this thing. Yikes…
Have you seen the re-construction of Noah’s Ark in Western Maryland? It’s right off of I-68. I have the privilege of seeing it everytime I go to see my parents in Virginia.
I would be pissed if I lived near that cross. And a red lightbulb on top? Classy…
26 February 2006, on 4:33 pm
Ford Said: “Well, I mean, you could like, hang around on it.”
Mmm, Jesus’ jungle gym doesn’t seem very safe, though. Someone could get seriously hurt on one of those things.
Sean Said: “Hehe. You said “erected. Oh, shit. The psychology behind Xianity is suddenly revealed. It’s a giant penis cult. This explains everything.”
That means he died on a… oooh, so that’s where the homophobia comes from.
Yes, Sean, I said “comes”.
26 February 2006, on 5:36 pm
Cassandra said: “I would be pissed if I lived near that cross. And a red lightbulb on top? Classy…”
heh… you could tell people you live in the red light district though… *chuckles*
26 February 2006, on 6:05 pm
Cassandra,
I was amused by this:
“Imagine a structure one and half football fields long and three stories high!”
Given the size of most modern office buildings, skyscrapers, cruise ships, etc, etc… I’m struck by how a xian would be amazed by this.
26 February 2006, on 6:20 pm
This giant cross shit must be the latest weapon for salvation of the masses. You think that maybe they had a meeting and decided it was time to blight the landscape in the name of jebus?
A baptist church just had a giant monster cross “erected” in Pigeon Forge. I wanted to get on the phone with the Mayor, but I don’t know that it would do any good. It’s on private church property so what’s to argue?
Has anyone anywhere had any luck in getting these eye-sores removed once they’re up? In my travels around northeast TN I’ve seen several of these behemoths along the roadways, not to mention of course, the many fields where the 12 foot triple sets of crosses are placed for easy viewing from ones car. (I like to think of them as the reason we don’t have any vampires in TN)
26 February 2006, on 11:12 pm
More from the church people. You won’t believe this, it is just too much if it has been reported right. Reminds me of the monty python scene “Bring Out Your Dead”
http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/02/26/church.shooting.ap/index.html
JIM
26 February 2006, on 11:39 pm
“As a resident and a Christian, I can say I’m not offended by the message [of the cross],” he said. “I just wonder if maybe there’s a better way to spread that message.”
Well, gee, I wonder why. ‘As a terrorist, I can say that I’m not offended by terrorism.’
27 February 2006, on 12:28 am
“Mmm, Jesus’ jungle gym doesn’t seem very safe, though. Someone could get seriously hurt on one of those things.”
Motherfucker I’m slow, I thought you were being serious and didn’t get my joke, now, about six hours after first reading it, I get it.
“I seen him come in through the balcony door,”
I seen him come in?
“Church members then continued the service, Tate said.”
What, with the dead person and injured child still there? (Yes, I know, I said that for exaggeration) Something I’ve never understood is how people don’t seem to recognize special circumstances and occasions. My parents were that way, and I’ve noticed a lot of other people and groups are that way as well. When I was eight, it didn’t matter if e.t.’s were attacking, if it was a school night I was going to bed at nine. Nevermind the fact the school wouldn’t be there and the world’s infrastructure would’ve collapsed. Same way with a school I read about recently, a teacher commited suicide in a classroom and some students and a sub found the corpse. When a bunch of students were freaked out and didn’t feel they could continue the school day, officials urged parents to keep them in school. Because we can’t have a few students miss the standardized lowest common denominator bullshit they try to pass off as school for a day right?
Same thing for the christmonkeys, “Well folks, somebody got blowed away, right chere in the church ’bout fiteen minutes ‘go, and we know you powor bastards only come here out of routine and guilt every sundee to listen tuh the same bullshit over and over again, but we’re gownna con-tin-ew neeways… oh, and if ew leave yower gonna burn in hell fower awll eternity!!” and I can make fun of people who talk like that because I talk like that.
27 February 2006, on 2:28 am
It always amazes me that a great and powerful OZ…cough cough…I mean, god… needs bizarre gigantic advertisements in the form of symbols, signs, flashing lights, billboards, television ads and programs with pink-big-haired hostesses who look like hookers, door knockers, pamphlets and whatever used to publicize an all-powerful, awesome, omnipotent, all-knowing, in-charge supreme eternal sky daddy. Can’t these people just stop and THINK about WHY the need for all this bullshit while their god remains SILENT???
27 February 2006, on 4:27 am
From the article Jimmer just linked to:
Church members embraced each other after the gunman left and continued to pray as police started coming in, Armstrong said.
“It was a lot of crying, a lot of hugging and a lot of praying,” she said.
Church members then continued the service, Tate said.
“They didn’t let this incident stop the reason why they came to church,” he said. “They came to worship.”
Holy fucking fucking goddamn fucking mother of fucking piss-christ that’s some sick shit. Your GAWD just let you get blown away in his fucking HOLY HOUSE and you kept praying to him?? Even the racist caricatures of Skull Island would have to turn their back on King Kong at that point. What are you, fucking SHEEP??
Oh. Yeah. I guess you are. My bad.
27 February 2006, on 7:15 am
You know how there is/was that style of hiphop stars wearing enormously over-sized clocks? I’m honestly shocked we haven’t seen a Xian version of that trend. Nothing says “I’m serving the RIGHT Sky Fairy” like wearing a cross that’s 2/3 your size.
27 February 2006, on 9:05 am
I have the feeling that it won’t be complete until they place a bigger than life “BINGO” sign on it. Where I come from this is usually how you recognize a xian church, especially a Catholic church.
27 February 2006, on 10:54 am
If we wanted to build a gigantic cross-shaped house with our name in big huge-ass letters on it and a beacon on top, we would not have our building plans approved. There are “specifications” and CODES for building styles and structurese and the materials you may use. Same for most businesses, but churches can put up these bizarre structures and get away with it. We were recently told that we can’t even have a camper parked on the side of our house, yet it was approved where a churches can have those tacky lighted advertisement signs on their properties and they have been building new churches with these obnoxiously large crosses on the properties. Some business owners are upset that they had to go by the codes for the kind of signs they can have for their businesses, yet churches can have whatever shitty looking thing they want! They should be held to the same codes as everyone else!
Try putting up a structure of the flying spaghetti monster in your yard and see how fast it is “condemned”. I’d like to see what the village’s reaction would be to building an “ark style house” anywhere and I bet the plans would NOT be approved. But churches can do whatever the fuck they want.
27 February 2006, on 11:20 pm
Ford Says: “Motherfucker I’m slow, I thought you were being serious and didn’t get my joke, now, about six hours after first reading it, I get it.”
Ford, I didn’t catch your “hang around on it” until Marcus replied to it in #7. You’re not alone.
The shooting reaction is just completely fucked up.
28 February 2006, on 2:35 am
I too didn’t get it unitl Marcus’ reply. I am sooo slow. Jeebus help me
28 February 2006, on 2:20 pm
Does it really need a light to attract attention?
28 February 2006, on 8:02 pm
Perhaps the light is for aircraft?
8 March 2006, on 10:50 am
I will be praying to SATAN for your torture. I’m not trying to change your opions every man has a right believe what he believes. Everyone that has read what is on that fucking cross “JESUS SAVES” or has heard the crapass gospal, it’s all bullshit- true elightinmet comes through the holy dark lord of hell and you are only helping jehovah lovers spread. you should be promoting the lord of fire and submitting to him instead of helping christian freaks look valid. Thank you for helping God spread his message, assholes.
LUCIFER domine,
travis
8 March 2006, on 11:02 am
Current Score:
Marcus +1
Travis -1
Overall Score:
Marcus: 137
Travis: 0
Not a good way to start, Travis.
8 March 2006, on 11:29 am
Marcus takes out another drive-by theist.
Maybe they will learn to stop coming here unless they have something useful to say.
Dayum. We’re getting positively militant.
5 July 2006, on 11:33 pm
Hello,
I am not here to argue, you do not even have to post this, I only ask you, WHAT IF , YOU ARE WRONG?
6 July 2006, on 12:45 am
nancy .long Says:
Hello,
I am not here to argue, you do not even have to post this, I only ask you, WHAT IF , YOU ARE WRONG?
What is that big honkin’ comma there for, Nancy? Is that meant to emphasize a pause or something? Why are theists always so illiterate? It’s the most common thing we see.
Here’s the answer to your question. Don’t try witnessing to atheists until you’ve educated yourself a little.
6 July 2006, on 7:05 am
Nancypauseforshockvaluelong, what if: you provided a reason to think so?
I know, I know, just a thought.
19 December 2006, on 9:20 pm
Hey, if ya don’t like it, don’t whine like a bunch of Jews. DO SOMETHING. Black metal kids in Europe and Norway burnt churches and such. Construct a giant Sigil of Baphomet or maybe a giant question mark? That’s why Christians preach to atheists and such. If you have your own beliefs, it’s one thing. But if they see a neutral person, they force thier beliefs because something not uniform with them scares them. As a xtian, (cleaver), I believe if ya don’t believe in God, so what? Every one free to choose. Religon shoudn’t ever make people feel oppresed or mad. Call your local Govt. and say that giant crosses everywhere is ok, but if a giant INVERTED cross was errected, thier would be petions to take it down, and thats not right. Put your energy into changing things that you don’t like, don’t just whine to each other and complain in blogs. Just my opinion. God speed, Hailz.