Fucked-Up News Flash
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16 March 2006, on 10:15 pm
These people obviously don’t know the meaning of the word persecuted. If they can’t shove god and xtianity down everyone’s throats they’re being “persecuted”. Maybe, just maybe, if they DIDN’T force their beliefs on the minority we wouldn’t have to bite back. Seriously, it’s news like this that makes me want to go into a church and yell at these people. But then I remember that there ARE xtains that are for the seperation of church and state. I love the topic, “Christains through a distorted lens” Have any of the posters on this blog ever read those piece-of-crap Chick Tracts that the xtains like to pass out? The sterotypes of Atheists on those tracts are absolutly terrible. “Taking our faith to the ballot box”?! The xtains control all three branches of power! If my head could explode from frustration it would have exploded a million times over.
Rant over.
Love, Adviser Moppet
16 March 2006, on 11:01 pm
- How to divert people’s attention in an election year through the raising of wedge issues
- Gay adoption — this year’s favorite wedge issue… Let’s not forget this one!
- Why we’re different from the Taliban, at least in the way they wear those silly towels on their heads — which we only do getting out of the shower
- Hollywood: Incredibly violent movies about the death of Christ that break box office records, and how we still whine about being under-represented at the cineplex
- Judges: We love them when their fundies, we want them poisoned when they aren’t
- “We’re a bunch of martyrs” brown bag lunch: how no matter how much of a majority status we hold, we still find some way to claim victim status. Must be the whole nailed to the cross thing.
- Re-interpreting the First Amendment… Free speech for those that agree with us, and religion back into government, where it never was in the first place.
- Xian rhetoric workshop: Coining terms — like “radical secularism” — that are ludicrously funny in their own right… Such as “fundamentalist neo-paganism.”
16 March 2006, on 11:36 pm
What’s to add? They’re a caricature of themselves.
16 March 2006, on 11:45 pm
How to commit or condone violent acts and still profess to be peaceful
16 March 2006, on 11:55 pm
Christians! Can’t cruxify them they won’t come down off their crosses.
Paranoid Schizophrenics Inciting Lying Lawyers. PSILLY
17 March 2006, on 12:29 am
Who’s PC now?
A decade and a half of right-wing bullshit campaigns insisting that the most precious right of every American citizen is the freedom to denigrate disabled black lesbians.
Stupid, sanctimonious, hypocritical fucking christers.
17 March 2006, on 12:34 am
Help! Can anyone give me 5 really hard debate questions for evolution. I need it for my creation apologetics class.
17 March 2006, on 12:43 am
holy shit! a war on xians. who’d have thunk it lol
http://home.hot.rr.com/smr/misc/IDlions.JPG
17 March 2006, on 12:55 am
- Slide show presentation: Images of Jesus and Mary, from sheets to taco shells
- Do it yourself crucifixion – How to overcome the last hand problem
- How to score with beautiful young virgins: God’s best kept secrets on how to make it with the ladies
- Cooking without yeast
- Wandering the desert for 40 years: Why men can’t ask for directions.
- Is your hair dryer talking to you? Conversations with Jesus.
- Death bed conversions: How you can have it all and get away with it too.
- The Epistles: Paul’s guide to spamming for fun and profit
- Stretching your food budget: How to make that loaf of bread feed 500
17 March 2006, on 12:59 am
The Epistles: Paul’s guide to spamming for fun and profit
Define “fun.”
(Sorry, just had to get that in.)
17 March 2006, on 1:57 am
1TLRMS:
Nice!
17 March 2006, on 1:58 am
Bruce said:
Do it yourself crucifixion – How to overcome the last hand problem
High-larious.
17 March 2006, on 2:07 am
Adviser Moppet says:
Have any of the posters on this blog ever read those piece-of-crap Chick Tracts that the xtains like to pass out? The sterotypes of Atheists on those tracts are absolutly terrible. “Taking our faith to the ballot box”?! The xtains control all three branches of power! If my head could explode from frustration it would have exploded a million times
Yeah, we love Jack Chick around.here.
Completely hilarious shit, when it isn’t scaring the hell out of you that people buy into it.
And yeah, what the fuck are they complaining about? They have absolute control of this country right now.
17 March 2006, on 2:20 am
manxome said:
What’s to add? They’re a caricature of themselves.
Ah. I have always found that to be one of the most profound insults.
17 March 2006, on 5:21 am
- War is Good, Love is Bad: Why the Xian Right Has Nothing to Say About the Wholesale Slaughter of Hundreds of Thousands of People, But Will Never Shut the Fuck Up About What People Should be Allowed to do in the Privacy of Their Own Bedrooms. Part of the “Jesus is Doing Backflips in His Grave” Series.
17 March 2006, on 5:28 am
Feminist’s war on men and the unborn, as well as their campaign to convince women that they want anything out of life other than to pump out lots of babies.
And have you noticed that in Chick tracts the atheists and other unsaved are always butt ugly? Except for the ones who get saved at the end.
17 March 2006, on 12:51 pm
Hey, if they have any breakfast events at this gathering, maybe they could serve cereal shaped like the Virgin Mary. They could call them Madonna Bits.
17 March 2006, on 5:15 pm
OK, let me give this a try:
- Abortion: Dealing with the Guilt because You Don’t Believe in It but You Had One or Persuaded/Helped Someone Else to Have One Anyway
- Adoption: Using the Idea of It as an Argument against Abortion without Ever Having to Actually Support It or Adopt Anyone
- The Bible: Referring to Its Infallibility without Encouraging Anyone to Actually Read It so as Not to Draw Attention to those Pesky Inconsistencies and Contradictions, like the Mormons Did with Joseph Smith’s Writings
- The Virgin Mary and Mary Magdalene, Christianity’s Answer to Feminism: Be a Good Girl or a Bad Girl but Be Sure to Convert to a Good Girl at Some Point even if You’re a Bad Girl
- In the Name of Abraham: Jews, Christians, Muslims, Unite!
- God as Intergalactic Alien: How to Get Scientists to Buy Intelligent Design (aliens are “scientific,” aren’t they? Aren’t they???)
This is fun! I’m working on a few more…
17 March 2006, on 7:42 pm
- Slavery Advocacy: It’s not all that bad.
- Stoning: How to find the perfect rock.
P.S. I’m praying to Zeus for a lightning bolt. And maybe he can throw in a really small tornado as well.
17 March 2006, on 8:47 pm
- Lobotomy Revisited: How to Keep Women Barefoot, Pregnant, and in the Kitchen in a Modern World
17 March 2006, on 11:32 pm
Lobotomy Revisited: How to Keep Women Barefoot, Pregnant, and in the Kitchen in a Modern World
YES! Like those 50’s commercials, but with these HUGE stitches in the side of the shaved heads of the wives — next to some cool-cutting-edge-convection-oven, of course…
Funny — and completely fucking disturbing…
20 March 2006, on 3:22 pm
-Stop the Vagination of America: A Look at the Last 40 Years of Femi-Whiners and Their Quest for Special Rights.(This one’s for Wally)
-Christian White Men: Their Victim Status and What Can Be Done to Regain Their Rights.
-Gaymerica: How Homosexual Tolerance Opened the Door to 9-11.
In Through The Backdoor: Intelligent Design and the Search for the Scientists Who Endorse It.
20 March 2006, on 6:11 pm
King Retard Says:
-Stop the Vagination of America: A Look at the Last 40 Years of Femi-Whiners and Their Quest for Special Rights.(This one’s for Wally)
*lmao*
I guess the opposite of “vagination” is – “penalization!”