Archive for March, 2006

Free press, unless it pisses off the religious wackos

30 March 2006

Border’s Books and Waldenbooks have decided to take a stand against free expression by declining to carry the April-May issue of Free Inquiry. Why? Because it contains cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad that provoked deadly protests among Muslims in several countries. (Two Chains Reject Magazine With Muhammad Cartoons). From the AP piece:

Borders and Waldenbooks stores will not stock the April-May issue of Free Inquiry magazine because it contains cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad that provoked deadly protests among Muslims in several countries.

“For us, the safety and security of our customers and employees is a top priority, and we believe that carrying this issue could challenge that priority,” Borders Group Inc. spokeswoman Beth Bingham said.

The magazine, published by the Council for Secular Humanism in suburban Amherst, includes four of the drawings that originally appeared in a Danish newspaper in September.

“What is at stake is the precious right of freedom of expression,” said Paul Kurtz, editor in chief of Free Inquiry. “Cartoons often provide an important form of political satire. . . . To refuse to distribute a publication because of fear of vigilante violence is to undermine freedom of press — so vital for our democracy.”

“We absolutely respect our customers’ right to choose what they wish to read and buy and we support the First Amendment,” Bingham said. “And we absolutely support the rights of Free Inquiry to publish the cartoons. We’ve just chosen not to carry this particular issue in our stores.”

I guess Barnes and Noble is getting my business from now on.

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Cruci-Fiction!

30 March 2006

A paper has been published which casts doubt on the traditional images of Jeebus’ crucifixion. What the authors suggest is that the typical image xians like to wear the world over has no historical backing. Imagine that, a two-thousand year old book with vague details, rampant contradictions, and no illustrations may not be a reliable historical source. One important note: “The authors do not express any doubt on the act of Jesus’ crucifixion itself.” That’s good. Why should a scientific body like the Royal Society of Medicine express any doubt of such an event? That said, there are some fun details. Did you know that:

“The cross could be erected ‘in any one of a range of orientations’, with the victim sometimes head-up, sometimes head-down or in different postures.

Sometimes he was nailed to the cross by his genitals, sometimes the hands and feet were attached to the side of the cross and not the front, or affixed with cords rather than nails.”

Fun details like that remind me of two things: Xians love of persecution and when Rome married Christianity, things like the Crusades and the Inquisition were inevitable. Plus, how sweet would a crucifix be with Jeebus having a nail driven through his lil’ messiah? Also worth noting:

“Crucifixion was widely practised by the Romans to punish criminals and rebels, but if the empire ever circulated instructions for the soldiers who carried out the gruesome task, none has survived today.

Nor is there any detailed account of the method of Jesus’ crucifixion in the four Gospels of the Bible (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) which are believed to be near contemporary accounts of the life of Christ.

And only one piece of archaeological evidence has ever been found about a crucifixion, mainly because crucified people were not formally buried but left on a rubbish dump to be eaten by wild dogs and hyenas, say Masien and Mitchell.”

Imagine that, no written records besides the four Gospels, which already have incredible amounts of doubt cast on them, and only one piece of archeological evidence of a crucifixion.

EDIT: Here’s a follow up. Apparently the Onion has proposed in alternative to “Crucifixion Debate 2006.” Enjoy!porno books adultphotos free adult pornoadult porno reviewporno adult trailersporno adult videopornoghraphy adultpornographic avatars adultadult australia pornography Map

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GifS A.V. Club: Teen Religion Commercial

30 March 2006

Apparently these dipshit teen Xians won some kind of “video of the year” award at their baby school. What with the invasion of my town by battlecry.com last weekend, I am feeling particularly curmudgeonly about our younger generation’s fundie factions this week.

Check out this amusing piece of shit. These kids are so out of touch, they haven’t a clue what a real joint even looks like. That doobie they are all puffing on in the first segment looks like a goddamn Pixie Stick.

And apparently in these kids’ world view, they can physically attack each other and beg forgiveness afterward and that makes it all okay. “Yo, dawg, sorry I sucker punched you in the hallway yestah-day. But gawd sez you should forgive me, right? Thanks, dawg.”

How about not hurting each other in the first place, you little twisted weasels?

Also, how does physically attacking your friends equate in the moral code book with eating the last slice of pizza (or whatever the hell is supposed to be happening in that scene)?

Anyway, my first experiment with embedding external YouTube Flash into the page. If you press the play button, it should play back right here on GifS. If you hit the image, I think it will take you to YouTube and play from there.

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Life is Here and Now

29 March 2006

Most religious people live FOR the afterlife, looking to the “great beyond” where they believe things are going to be so awesome with their “heavenly father” who promises streets paved with gold and no more pain, suffering and heartache. So, if this were true, why bother with this world? If heaven is the goal, then why would a god put all his people into what they consider to be a cesspool holding pen of wickedness when things are so much better “up there”? And why do most christians cling to life so desperately, using science and medicine to prolong life here in this “evil” place when they have paradise to look forward to? Could it be because they KNOW this is ALL THERE REALLY IS?

Why do christians, muslims and other afterlife believers become extremely upset when a loved one dies if they have faith that they will see this person again. Christians and muslims, in particular, believe the dearly departed is going to their ultimate goal, yet when faced with the death of the loved one, they scream, cry, moan, and grieve long and loud. Many need valium and other medications to cope with the loss. We see religious folks of varying faiths collapsing across coffins, pounding their fists in rage and anguish because “god has taken their loved one from them”.

If they truly believed that there is a heaven, shouldn’t they celebrate the “passing on” of their friend or relative to this “better place” instead of being sad and angry? They should be thrilled for the departed and excited for when it is THEIR turn! Instead, the reaction is the same fear and grief as any other creature that is able to recognize the finality of death.

I have attended many religious and non-religious wakes and funerals in my 51 years and the religious folks I have observed from all different denominations of christianity had a much harder time coping…their prayers, drugs, comforting friends…nothing seemed to help. Their faith didn’t seem to help them one iota. Though sad, the several non-religious wakes and funerals I have attended, there seemed to be a greater strength and acceptance. My grandfather was an atheist. (My grandmother was a christian.) After the death of my grandmother I was very sad and he said to me — “Be strong, you are going to see a lot of this in your life. It’s the way things are. Life goes on. She wanted you to be happy, so keep her memories and be happy.” He missed her terribly, but he carried on with dignity and acceptance of things he could not change. I know for a fact that if he had gone first, my grandmother would have had a much harder time coping.

With christianity and other religions that supposedly look forward to death, these believers in an afterlife always have an excuse as to why they experience fear and grief instead of admitting that they do not really believe in an afterlife. I have been told by christians that they are “only human” and will behave as humans behave even being people of faith. Then they are admitting that their faith is useless! IF they really believed they are going to be rejoined with their loved ones in heaven with their loving heavenly sky daddy, they would not be so grieved. There must be a question or doubts in their mind that they do not want to admit.

From the time when humans lived in caves, until present times, humans have been searching for a reason for their seemingly meaningless existence and for ways to cope with their inevitable demise. Silly humans are still trying to figure out a way to live forever. Science is busy looking for ways to prolong life; religious folks have their wishful thinking that life will go on forever by simply believing it will. Hoping for something that one knows will never be actually makes the grieving process much more difficult because one holds onto an uncertain hope, whereas for the atheist we can grieve, and accept, and go on with no wondering, no false hopes or delusions. To accept the nature of things is to experience true peace and happiness.

What do I believe then? I believe in HUMAN RESILIENCE. I believe in the nature of things and the cycle of life. There is much beauty and wonder in nature, and also much violence and gruesomeness in nature that is ugly necessity — like the albatross eating the penquin chick for dinner so it can survive at least another day.

I must admit that I don’t do as much as I should to make the world a better place, but I am not living with my head in the clouds, or in the sand either. I am not proclaiming to believe one thing and living in contradiction against those professed beliefs. Most religious folks are sitting around saying some voodoo prayers, waiting for a heavenly father to wrinkle up what they perceive as this crappy “rough draft” of a supposed creation and start anew in a magical kingdom in the clouds of imagination. I encourage all who are blinded by religious superstition to open your eyes and see how really good LIFE is HERE AND NOW… here on this MAGNIFICENT PLANET EARTH.

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It’s Official – I’m the Devil

29 March 2006

OK, these things are really, really dumb. But this is quite on-topic here…

I’m the devil and here’s proof. I’m gonna marry 3 Mormons just to piss Sky Daddy off…

Satan
You scored 85% Pride, 70% Envy, 77% Ambition, and 67% Deceitfulness!
You are Satan, the consummate villain, and the ascendant figure in the unholy trinity. Throughout history you have been called The Serpent, The Accuser, The Devil, Lucifer, The Prince of the Power of the Air, and The Dragon, among other things. Your “compatriots” in the unholy trinity, the Antichrist and the False Prophet, are merely pawns in your futile struggle with God. Though, they probably don’t know this. This is because you are a master of deception; indeed the Bible calls you “The Father of All Lies”. You are also very ambitious, and you strive to be in positions of the utmost authority. Unfortunately, it was impossible for you to obtain the highest title in heaven and this is part of the reason why you decided to leave. Of course, you couldn’t just leave by yourself, so you managed to use your deceptive abilities to get one third of the angels in heaven to join with you in revolt. God put down the rebellion and expelled you from heaven. To most people, it would seem foolish to start a war against God, but pride can sometimes cause people to do foolish things. In heaven, you were the most beautiful and powerful of all angels and you were well aware of this. Unfortunately, you let your pride consume you and your passions led you down the road to perdition. After you were expelled from heaven, you let another one of your attributes consume you—envy. You knew that you could never defeat God, but you could attempt to destroy humanity, his most beloved creation. Your goal is to bring as many people as possible to suffer in Hell with you. Fortunately for you, but unfortunately for the rest of us, you’ve been endowed with all of the attributes necessary (deceptiveness, confidence, ruthlessness, and ambition) to do a terribly good job at this.
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

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You scored higher than 95% on Pride
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You scored higher than 84% on Envy
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You scored higher than 80% on Ambition
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You scored higher than 85% on Deceitfulness

Link: The Which Biblical Villain Are You Test written by MetalliScats on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test
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Leprechaun in Alabama

29 March 2006

Yep, a Leprechaun in Mobile, Alabama. My favorite quote, “Could be a crackhead that got hold to the wrong stuff.” At least she’s offering a more plausible hypothesis, but this has got to be the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while. Especially the guy with the whistle thing. I didn’t think people actually believed in leprechauns, I always thought that was like believing in Santa Claus, maybe when you were a little kid, but surely very few people other than the fringe lunatics believe in that kind of shit right? Well, apparently everybody and their uncle in Mobile is showing up and clogging up the damn streets at night to come see a fucking face in some tree bark. One guy said he wants to dig up the tree for a pot of gold. I hope like fuck that he was joking. But at least few of them appear to be getting really serious about it, a lot of them just get together and joke about it (though it’s hard to tell if they actually believe it or not).

Living in a fantasy world must be infinitely more fun. Sure us skeptical atheists look at this big, beautiful universe and think it’s so great, but as big and fascinating as the real world is, it’s still just doesn’t have that same ‘magical’ feel to it. Ghosts and monsters and gods and leprechauns, I think the thing that makes certain things more fun to believe is the anthropomorphization they have. The idea that there are forces and exotic things in the universe that could be your ally, that the universe is on your side or can be on your side like a friend, it’s much more comforting an idea, and you feel a social interaction with the universe. Must be nice.

P.S. I don’t know much about Al Sharpton, but I’m watching something on MSNBC right now and I’m loving him.

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Oh baby baby

29 March 2006

Britney Sculpture of Birth Causes Stir

Guess we might be a little late to the party on this one, but thought I’d post it anyway for those who might’ve missed it.

Britney Spears will soon be giving birth again in Brooklyn, as a sexy sculpture that has drawn thousands of hate e-mails.

“This is a new take on pro-life. Pro-lifers normally promote bloody images of abortion. This is the image of birth,” Daniel Edwards said of his work, to be unveiled at a Brooklyn gallery in April, months after Edwards’ sculpture of Ted Williams severed head stirred up an artistic storm.

The life-size pop princess is naked and pregnant, crouching face-down on a bare-toothed bear rug as the baby’s head appears on the opposite end.

On Tuesday at his studio in Moosup, Conn., Edwards was pouring a mold to cast the sculpture in resin. It’ll be transported to the Capla Kesting Fine Art gallery in Brooklyn’s artsy Williamsburg neighborhood, where Britney the artwork is to appear next to a display case filled with pro-life materials.

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CDC Warning!!!

29 March 2006

The Centers for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease.

The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and is pronounced “gonna re-elect him.” Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for four years.

Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept responsibility for one’s own actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies towards evangelical theocracy, and categorical all-or-nothing behavior.

Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas.

~~~

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