My Xian Space dot Com?
25 April 2006 by SeanThis company-written press release is hot off the wires (don’t I sound like a real news guy?)
Christian Myspace.com? Yes JCFaith.com Does it
Snippet:
Chattanooga, TN, April 24, 2006 –(PR.COM)– New Christian website, JCFaith.com, has aspirations of delivering a clean, safe, and fun faith based alternative in the emerging online social networking arena.
FBN Media Inc. which is based out of one of the nation’s most livable cities, Chattanooga, TN. Launched its faith based social networking website on April 24, 2006, JCFaith.com. Social networking websites are sites where users create the content through their personal bio pages, blogs, online photo albums and forum posts. Popular sites in this sector include MySpace.com, Xanga.com and Facebook.com which have been under heavy scrutiny from most critics lately. JCFaith.com plans to enter this arena as the safe, clean, fun alternative to the popular sites getting plenty of media attention.
“Under heavy scrutiny from most critics lately”? What kind of a mealy-mouthed statement is that? That’s like me saying: “Mr. Johnson, who some that call themselves opinionated are known to dislike.” But it’s even worse, because it implies some kind of professional opinion by using the word “critic” — without saying what kind of critic, what their credentials are, who in fact they actually are, and what they are criticizing. Only a dumbass Xian would let that one slip by.
Anyway.
I went ahead and signed up (cont’d below)…
… As usual, they are trying to seize on the young. Here’s some stuff from the admin’s welcome message:
JCFaith.com (www.JCFaith.com) seeks to bring Christians together that have a p\”bleep\”ion for God, life, community and technology.
Okay, at first I thought I must be woefully uncool in the area of bleeped obscenity, because I couldn’t figure out what the hell p\”bleep\”ion for God means. My first thoughts: unless this site was an elaborate joke, I couldn’t imagine that it actually meant to imply “hardon for God” — but it did kind of resemble that, given the sentence structure. That would have been hilarious.
But after browsing around and seeing the same bleep a number of times, I realized that the word was “passion!’ Their obscenity filter is bleeping the word “ass” out of “passion” everywhere on their site!
The very word they use to describe the crucifixion of their Lord and Savior.
That’s just ironic beyond words. Has anyone made the porn movie yet? Come on. You know it’s gotta be done. The Assion of the Christ. Bwahahaha!
More:
The site is also geared for those that are seeking direction in their life and want to learn more about the Christian faith.
But of course it is… Wouldn’t be any fun if there wasn’t some handy indoctrination included, now would it?
And:
New Safety Features:
1. on every page in the top right hand corner of the page there is a link to report any inappropriate material on that page.
2. We have a site staff member for every 25 site members. This ratio allows us to keep this site PG rated for Teenz safety.
3. There is a filter in place to scramble obscene expressions.
Yup. Like… um… “passion”??
I really hope this does turn out to be a gag. Alas, I fear it is not.
25 April 2006, on 1:35 am
We should all sign up!!!
25 April 2006, on 1:39 am
Good, I’m glad they are going to have their own little web space. Now maybe they can leave the rest of us alone.
Now if we can only convince them to start there own little real world someplace else as well.
25 April 2006, on 1:42 am
That would be hilarious. Post fake pictures and profiles and start a mob of people all in the same groups, pretending that we are meeting for the first time on JCFaith.com, inviting others to our groups with weird messages, seeing how many times we can piss off the bleep-o-meter. I love it.
That girl in the lower right of my collage must have been in biology class during the study of evolution.
25 April 2006, on 1:56 am
I did it. I signed up!!! Let’s start a network. Here’s the link to my page:
http://www.jcfaith.com/profile.php?id=414
25 April 2006, on 1:57 am
Holy fucking shit, I just noticed they edited “The Passion.” Wow, this’ll be fun.
25 April 2006, on 2:01 am
KR. Your profile is hilarious:
I’m a funny Christian guy who likes to listen to rockin’ music which glorifies the Lord!!! I like to have fun and am hoping to meet a nice, fun, spirit filled girl!!!
LIKES
God (of course), humor, reading the Bible, my friends and family, hangin’ out, fishing, hunting, and Christian rock!!!
DISLIKES
Sin, atheism, mean people, liberals, and evolution teachers.
HOBBIES
Playing guitar, writing jokes, hangin’ wit’ my friends, hunting, hockey, etc.
Here’s my profile. I haven’t done nuttin’ wit’ it yet:
http://www.jcfaith.com/profile.php?id=412
25 April 2006, on 2:03 am
How Xian is this? Their icon for “Standard” members:
http://www.jcfaith.com/images/mem_normal2.gif
Are your eyes keen enough to read the tiny font and see how they spelled it?
Man, all of these people… No matter where we run into them, they can’t spell… What the fuck?
25 April 2006, on 2:13 am
All right, bro, we’re JCfaith pals now!!!
25 April 2006, on 2:49 am
Only bad things can come of this, KR! (insert evil laugh)
25 April 2006, on 4:29 am
Amazing, I had to see the p\”bleep\”ion it is real!
They don’t block dodgeit.com so I made a page too, wonder how long it’ll remain online
http://www.jcfaith.com/profile.php?id=417
And the the icon reads “standert” maybe “art” was too obscene …
Gotta put some ass in my profile but don’t have time now.
25 April 2006, on 4:36 am
HEY! I put Likes: Going to mass on sunday and it didn’t show up!
What a jib.
I put you two as friends
25 April 2006, on 6:14 am
GUys!!!! They finally got their own little pig pen – don’t invade!!! Dont’ give them a reason to come out of the pig pen!
25 April 2006, on 6:48 am
Now that is some funny shit.
How can you even chat to your fellow Xian kiddies, when you can’t say words like “passion” and “mass”? Does it bleep out “damn” as well? That would be great. Maybe you should add that feature to this site… every time someone tries to tell you about your impending eternal damnation, it would come up “Eternal ‘bleep’ation”. Better still “Eternal ‘tarn’ation”.
I want to join up just to test these things! Does it capitalize and singularize the word “god”? Just to cut down on heathen references?
How about sex? I figure they’ll just cut to the chase and delete the entire LINE refering to that word.
But if not…well the wheels just begin to turn. You could come up with a bio like:
Name: Dick Essex
Birthplace: Essex, Massachusets
Occupation: Sexton, Church of the Passion
Likes: I am passionate about classical music, especially sextets, reading Hickory Dickory Dock to my goddaughter after class!
Name: “bleep” Es”bleep”
Birthplace: Es”bleep”, M”bleep”achusets
Occupation: “bleep”ton, Church of the P”bleep”ion
Likes: I am p”bleep”ionate about cl”bleep”ical music, especially “bleep”tets, reading Hickory “bleep”ory Dock to my God daughter!
I think we should stage a competition to see who can make the most incomprehensible bleeped-out sentence, using nothing but perfectly benign words!
25 April 2006, on 7:45 am
Lya’s right we should leave them be… but it’s so hard when you know they never let anything be. Not to mention how much fun this will be… I’m signing up now before you all get thrown off.
For the record though Lya’s 100% right.
25 April 2006, on 8:10 am
Please be my jebus friend… notice the picture of High Pitch Eric from the Howard Stern show: http://www.jcfaith.com/profile.php?id=419
25 April 2006, on 8:21 am
Why on Earth should we leave them be? Little freaks on there — other than us infiltrators — are already asking me to be their fwiends.
Hey, check it out. Somehow it doesn’t catch the word “ass” if the “A” is capitalizd. Now that’s some bad coding:
LIKES
Assuming nothing, loving everyone.
Going to m\”bleep\”. Being a good Christian.
DISLIKES
Cr\”bleep\” people and those who drink the haterade.
Persians kinda. I prefer pie over Persians. And mol\”bleep\”es. Ha.
HOBBIES
Playing my guitar and singing. More soon. Gotta run to cl\”bleep\”!
25 April 2006, on 8:24 am
This is going to go so wrong… I’m having issues with trying not to go to far. I’ll try to step it up incrementally over a few days.
25 April 2006, on 8:29 am
Good plan, Chris. If you have any correspondence with Xian buddies, be certain to copy and paste it here before they boot your \”bleep\” off.
25 April 2006, on 9:07 am
I’ve decided I am an FTM transexual who will slowly reveal himself over the next few days… Regretting my sin, hoping to find jebus’ forgiveness. That pic is not me (I swear!) but of a real FTM from a book on the subject. I will be citing Ann Coulter, another FTM, as my personal hero!
http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=134820177&size=o
Note that as you change and edit your profile, the bleep filter fails! Most of my “ass” words are now getting through, when they were bleeped before.
Check out the GifS ref in the lower right of the screenshot from my new friend (Hugo? Christ? Which one of you is it?). Ha!
25 April 2006, on 9:11 am
“Why on Earth should we leave them be?”
I don’t know – so we’re not exactly the type of asshole trolls we accuse them of being?
“Little freaks on there — other than us infiltrators — are already asking me to be their fwiends.”
Because you’ve lied and said you’re one of them.
25 April 2006, on 9:13 am
That’s me with the GiFS reference. I expect to be thown off by the end of the day.
25 April 2006, on 9:14 am
PS: I love writing on JCFaith.com as Sean the Xian FTM student from Cal Berkeley. Making typos and dumb misspellings and intentionally leaving them uncorrected is amazingly liberating. Maybe this is why so many of our Xian commenters are functionally illiterate. Their spirits have been freed of such earthly yokes as good writing, punctuation and grammar.
My pen doth float amongst the clouds.
25 April 2006, on 9:15 am
Oh, Lya. Lighten up. This is fun as hell.
25 April 2006, on 9:16 am
I agree with you Lya but it’s so much fun. I plan to metamorphose all my lies to the truth by the end of today.
25 April 2006, on 9:18 am
PS: And if they *don’t* catch us, they are fools. It’s not like we aren’t already dropping big hints.
Anybody who posts an image in their profile telling me I am going to hell because I don’t believe what they believe is fair game to me.
All of these people are fair game to me. Or perhaps you haven’t noticed the Lion Feed.
I am tired of just being reactive. I like taking it to ‘em now. Much more fun.
25 April 2006, on 9:19 am
One of the staff just sent me a long list of xian bands but nothing else… maybe he wants to rock out.
25 April 2006, on 9:20 am
Hypocrite.
25 April 2006, on 9:22 am
# Lya Kahlo Says:
April 25th, 2006 at 9:20 am e
Hypocrite.
Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the happy tree.
I don’t take that word lightly. I truly hope you were teasing or that it wasn’t actually directed at me. Otherwise this could be a bad day.
25 April 2006, on 9:47 am
OK kids, let’s play together nicely.
I agree with Lya on this. It’s not my place to tell you all what baiting and berating to engage in, but I too fear that as a part of GIFS, this pushes us over the line that “Lion’s Feed” flirts with but stays on the right side of.
So, I’d like to suggest those who want to organize and share in this move that project to another location. Link from here to a blogspot blog, if you like. But I’ve grown uncomfortable with the personal edge that this particular thread is going down.
25 April 2006, on 10:00 am
That /*bleep*/ filter was just asking to be exploited, just too funny.
It looks like the filter has been turned off, even the message from the admin now shows the right passion.
And so it becomes a boring Xian site again and I’m done with it.
25 April 2006, on 10:01 am
I second Ron.
25 April 2006, on 10:07 am
You’re right Ron… I’ll respect your wishes.
25 April 2006, on 10:52 am
Awesome, I totally signed up. This will be fun. http://www.jcfaith.com/profile.php?id=425
25 April 2006, on 12:42 pm
No problem, Ron. I’m just going on for a little innocent fun, not to be a flame baiter or berater but I also understand why you don’t want the activities coordinated through your site. My main thing is to go on and do a little people-watching, as it were.
25 April 2006, on 1:03 pm
I have to agree with Ron and Lya on this…funny as the idea may be, it’s pushing it over the line of Lion Feed.
25 April 2006, on 1:08 pm
Well said, Ron…
Anyhoo, I was thinking about a particular item that was listed:
2. We have a site staff member for every 25 site members. This ratio allows us to keep this site PG rated for Teenz safety.
And I was wondering if maybe they would also monitor for “lapses-of-faith,” i.e., if you started to show doubts about your faith, and tried to perhaps involve others in (and convince others of) your doubts. Maybe you would become too “risky” at that point, and you’d get kicked off the site.
25 April 2006, on 1:29 pm
And I was wondering if maybe they would also monitor for “lapses-of-faith,” i.e., if you started to show doubts about your faith, and tried to perhaps involve others in (and convince others of) your doubts. Maybe you would become too “risky” at that point, and you’d get kicked off the site.
Bob, I am sure that would be the case. They don’t want anything to interfere with their “programming”.
25 April 2006, on 1:59 pm
Not yet. I’ve edited my profile to read the complete truth about me and my beliefs and they have done nothing so far. I would include the link but Ron has asked not to.
25 April 2006, on 2:15 pm
Chris – They either haven’t seen it yet, or they are going to try to “save” you.
25 April 2006, on 2:19 pm
Well I have just posted a blog called ‘Faith = Ignorance’ that is being shown on their main page. This should ge their attention. I would love for them to try and save me.
25 April 2006, on 3:31 pm
Man, they are gonna run out of money in a hurry if they get any sort of high-volume sign-up. One staff member per 25 members? Unless they don’t pay these people, that’s a lot of cash.
25 April 2006, on 4:29 pm
They are being paid in love from the gawd alrighty!
25 April 2006, on 4:51 pm
They are being paid in love from the gawd alrighty!
In their schizophrenic minds.
25 April 2006, on 8:24 pm
Does Ruth Malhotra have a profile on that site?
26 April 2006, on 12:49 am
This sounds like one of those good ideasthat goes horribly wrong. I can just see it. Two months from now someone will sneak in to gifs and say “psst have they gone yet”? Or maybe someone will say “Remember when all those xians showed up at gifs?” ROTFLMAO
Yous guys is all going to hell in a handbasket carried by little red riding hood with the big bad wolf gnawing on your skulls. Shrieks of terror peels of laughter.
27 April 2006, on 1:49 am
[...] So it seems I can do no right this week. Maybe it has something to do with my lady being away. A man needs a woman around to keep his brain from turning to mush. [...]
27 April 2006, on 6:59 am
Good fucking grief.
27 April 2006, on 12:11 pm
Looks like cream chez beard let his butt pirates off the ship and told you to run around being foolish and act like you have no sense at all.
Good Job girlies