Christian “Therapy” Movies
29 April 2006 by Sean
Hey, MoeHammered. This one’s for you, dude.
From ChristianAnswers.Net: Movies for Therapy.
Movies can be more than entertainment; they can be therapeutic–helping people see themselves, others or issues in a new light. They can open up productive dialogue. This list on 53 topics has been compiled from suggestions received from various Christians.
Oh, joy. Break out the popcorn, let’s see what we’ve got for movie night! (Disclaimer: there are a number of fine movies on this page. These are just the ones I found amusing. Oh, and watch out for my spoilers.)
Under “Self-Worth” we have Mr. Holland’s Opus. My. That’s strange. After I sat all the way through that treacly piece of shit, I felt like a sucker.
Under “Couples Commitment”: Fatal Attraction. That’s right. Stick with your wife or your kid’s rabbit will get boiled and your wife will have to blow somebody away in your bathtub. And God will be laughing.
Under “Adultery”: The End of the Affair. Holy fuck. That’s kinda sick. I saw this movie as a case for atheism, if anything! I don’t know what J.G. Ballard’s intentions were, but if this is religious allegory, I want no part of this religion any more than the Xianity portrayed in the movie The Rapture. Cruel and arbitrary, the god in this movie, if he indeed exists outside of the protagonists’ heads, does horrible things to these people for their indiscretion (and who can blame Julianne Moore for wanting to fuck Ralph Fiennes instead of Stephen Rea?? I mean, I like Rea, but he has a face like an old rabbit). Shit, the final line (SPOILER) in the whole fuckin’ movie is from Fiennes, bitterly accepting this horrible gawd’s existence, but stating firmly that he hates him. Nice.
“Men’s Issues”: Mrs. Doubtfire AND Tootsie in a list only four items long. Hey, Christian kids! Gays are bad, but cross-dressing is okay. After all, Father Hank and Dad do it together all the time!
“Men’s Sexual Addictions”: Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life. Yup. Father Hank says porn is evil, so rather than just enjoying it together and maybe getting a little stimulation back into your embalmed sex life, your hubbie is up wanking off at 4AM at the computer while you’re slipping “Mr. Jolty” out from under the mattress.
“Spiritual Warfare.” Okay. Enough said. It’s just sick that it’s a category.
“Aging”: Cocoon, Driving Miss Daisy, On Golden Pond, To Dance With the White Dog. I can’t believe they left out Requiem for a Dream!
29 April 2006, on 11:03 pm
Ha! Requiem for a Dream scarred me for life. If anyone is even contemplating taking Herion or diet pills they should watch that movie first!
30 April 2006, on 9:09 pm
Uuuuh… thanks…?
Man, these tools love their tripe! I was especially amazed that “Story of Us” was under Couples Commitment - that flick was such a jumbled piece of shit I kept hoping there’d either be a divorce or a murder-suicide pact that would salvage it. No such luck.
Under Self-Worth, how could you leave out Takashi Miike’s “Ichi the Killer”? It is a touching portrait of one man making a difference.
Sort of.
And I’m shocked - shocked, I say! - to find “Trash-talkin’-whores 7″ was not included under Couples Communication. It really answers the existential questions raised in 1 - 6.
I came, I saw, I came.
Thumbs up.
Non-Prophet -
Do people really “contemplate” taking heroin? You’d think there’s enough information about the train wreck your life becomes when you use it. I happen to be pro-legalization, but I also figure if you’re stupid enough to volutarily start using heroin, before you do you should first sign up for every dangerous human medical test available.
That way, at least your life will be useful for something before you turn into a piece of shit smack head.
Perhaps I’m being too critical of addiction.
Oh well.
Besides, if you’re looking for a crazy, mind-altering experience, find the biggest TV you can, have a few drinks or tokes, and watch Terry Gilliam’s “Fear and Loathing”.
A lot cheaper than a smack habit.
There you go - you have your orders.
1 May 2006, on 12:56 am
Funny stuff, Moe. Sorry, I only dedicated it to you as a fellow movie buff, not because you are chemically insane, like anybody who thought “Story of Us” was a good movie.
1 May 2006, on 1:03 am
BTW, did anybody catch my link to “80-Year-Old Virgins” — or was that too subtle?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=uN8584eBdII&search=cocoon
1 May 2006, on 6:29 am
The link was subtle - the “trailer” was anything but.
Did I give the impression that I enjoyed “Story of Us”?
And I’ll have you know my insanity in entirely psychological scarring from my religious upbringing.
1 May 2006, on 7:47 am
No, that’s not what I meant. I meant anybody who thought “Story of Us” was good was insane. Like the people who compiled this Xian movie list.
1 May 2006, on 9:44 am
Story of Us sucked hard.
1 May 2006, on 7:04 pm
Sean: Like the people who compiled this Xian movie list.
I’d just like to say to those xians, “You’ve come a long way, baby.” It wasn’t that long ago that the Protestant missionaries in the Dominican Republic were forbidden to even *go* to the movies, let alone watch them for therapy.
Then again, these were the same people who couldn’t even wear wedding rings because jewelry was strictly forbidden.
Aren’t they afraid that the Devil will sneak evil ideas into their heads if they do anything for leisure other than read the bible?