From Marcus: Trials and Tribulations in Kansas
1 June 2006 by Sean
Hey, gang. Marcus emailed this to me today and asked me to post it on his behalf:
Recently, my poor computer failed… massively. Among the crippled and the dead were some drivers, a large portion of the registry, and, later discovered, one HDD. I’m not sure what happened, but you can probably take for granted that I spewed many blue words in the last week while I was trying to repair it. If you are reading this article, than our own dear Sean has in good faith passed this along to you all and I feel I would be remiss in my duties were I not to include some savory morsel of xian ineptitude within my own village.
I ended up in our public library for the next three days (I can only use for one hour per day, dammit) to harvest nuggets of restorative OS procedures. Ah, the library, last bastion of free speech; however, this library as some of you may remember from previous comments, has xian tracts in its reading section. Since getting my box in order was the first priority, I put off visiting GifS for some time until only a few days ago when I was yearning for a few giggles and groans.
Unfortunately, when I entered the URL, I was informed by a very brightly colored popup box that “This website has been restricted for offensive content by the ****** District Library!” Of course, the box didn’t note what was so offensive about the content, but seething nonetheless, I attempted to use my email for the first time and found that hotmail did not display or function properly on their computers because of additional other restrictions. I already knew that right click functionality was tied off and that would be no use to me either. So I sat and stared at a monitor that had a happy color scheme like Strawberry Shortcake, Care Bears, and My Little Pony blended, swallowed then vomited.
I arrived home with my instructions and went through the registry repair (a time consuming bitch when you have to load the ASR from floppy disks and then type a bunch of shit) and determined after some additional computer oddity and the help of a friend over the phone, that, HOORAY, the HDD had went to crap. Jizzus must be trying to tell me something.
Yesterday, after shopping for HDD’s online (no Ye Olde Shoppe within ninety miles of me has parts), I hijacked one of the library catalog computers (amazingly, less security) to write a quick email to Sean before the librarian, a middle-aged storkish woman who looks like she starves for jizzus, stood to tell me “Sir those computers are for catalog only.” I moved back to the other computers and, with nothing but a waiting game left, my more interesting research began-
The library in my town blocks GifS as well as the American Atheist site for offensive content, yet I was still able to connect to:
Stormfront
Volksfront
The KKK mainpage
Prussian Blue’s websites
Micetrap
Focus on the Family
The GLAAD websiteThe last one surprised me, so maybe it’s just us atheist types they can get away with hating. I’m certain that they don’t use anything for a filter except the opinions of the library staff, but to be fair, the Aryan Nations national web travesty was blocked, so there must be one or two good people there. More evidence toward the “human filter” was the unblocked accessibility of Lya’s blog, Atheist Jew’s blog, and even Vile’s blog. These websites would obviously be gotten by a catch-all filter; however, not a single video connected to any blog via YouTube would work as everything on YouTube is also apparently “offensive.”
I think it was Sean who said, and was right, that if I don’t get out of this place soon, I’m going to assault someone.
1 June 2006, on 7:29 am
Hmm, at first the Welcome sign looked like a daisy, but very quickly I thought of it as the sun exploding (welcome to Kansas, all life ends here?) And the “UFO” in the picture is classic
1 June 2006, on 9:49 am
Athiest blocking… what do you expect from a library? Accurate information about the world?
1 June 2006, on 10:29 am
I live in a suburb of Chicago and it is hard to find even an atheist book in our library. They have ONE copy of Sam Harris’ book The End of Faith, practically no Carl Sagan…and very sparse on Asimov and those types of books. I just get what I want via Amazon or from Borders, etc.since our library stacks are so pathetically lame.
As for computer usage, it’s the same thing. The Hitler librarians have many things filtered and can only go to certain websites, etc. If you try to do something you aren’t supposed to you are scolded as if you are a child. I can’t believe I am paying taxes for this crap.
I find that the university libraries are much better, less censorship and more free in where they allow people to go on the internet. However, I think one must be a student or member of faculty with a number to be allowed access to the internet.
1 June 2006, on 11:00 am
I frequently haunt my library which, for southwestern Ohio- home of John Boehner, “Mean” Jean Schmidt, and the People Vs. Larry Flynt, is not too bad in terms of more secular tomes. Plus, any book that they don’t have can be requested, through an InterLibrary Loan from another instate library that does, gratis. It does take a little longer but I occupy my time moving all the bloviating conservative books to the science section where fans of such rot would fear to tread. I think the Kansas problems stem from it’s flatness/smoothness. A state aging gracefully has wrinkles, even eructations of the topography but I suspect Kansass has had some “work” done. This stretching taut of the skin on the skull leads to blinding headaches and just plain blindness. Plus, they’ve never really gotten over being the ass end of ARkansas.
1 June 2006, on 2:55 pm
Kansas? He’s stuck in Kansas? That’s awful (and I should know, having been there many times). I suggest we organise a rescue party immediately. Operation Free Thought!
1 June 2006, on 9:14 pm
Didn’t they destroy Kansas in “Diamonds are Forever?”
1 June 2006, on 9:17 pm
Marcus hope you get it back in order. Damn that must nearly hurt.
Atheist blocking?? How retarded
I’ve been fortunate in that all the libraries I’ve been to have staunch defenders of the 1st amendment. Mostly women too. I have been quite impressed.
2 June 2006, on 3:54 am
I’ve been fortunate in that all the libraries I’ve been to have staunch defenders of the 1st amendment. Mostly women too. I have been quite impressed.
My girlfriend, a former librarian, was just saying this tonight. I had read about this already, but she confirmed that Bay Area libraries even allow the browsing of porn, as long as it is done discretely. Gotta love it here! It’s like another fucking country compared to Kansas. And sometimes I actually wish it was.
2 June 2006, on 2:52 pm
Yay! I’m back!
I do, however, have some more installs to do, but I thought I’d drop in and say “hi” and get a dose of reality!
2 June 2006, on 5:58 pm
Marcus: no one here but us sable chickens.
Bwahahaha!
Sorry, that’s a sick joke.
Welcome back to reality!
2 June 2006, on 7:27 pm
Indeed, Marcus, glad to have you back in the blogosphere.
3 June 2006, on 12:06 pm
Sean,
If everyone here had turned Cluckin’ Chicken manic, I would cry.
Eve,
I’ll insult xians to all your heart’s delight.