I came across one of those stories where you shake your head and say “glad that wasn’t me.”
OPERATION REMOVES LIGHTBULB FROM MAN’S ANUS
MULTAN, Pakistan (Reuters) - Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus.
Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad’s misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.
“Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else,” Mohammad, a grey-beared man in his mid-40s, told Reuters from a hospital bed in the southern central city of Multan.
“We had to take it out intact,” said Dr. Farrukh Aftab at Nishtar Hospital. “Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation.”
Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn’t know the bulb was there.
“When I woke up I felt a pain in my lower abdomen, but later in hospital, they told me this,” Mohammad said.
“I don’t know who did this to me. Police or other prisoners.”
The doctor treating Mohammad said he’d never encountered anything like it before, and doubted the felon’s story that someone had drugged him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose.
Ok, so he’s in jail because he was making some hootch, which his religion forbids, gets sent to prison for four years for doing so, gets a lightbulb shoved up his ass, and his first response is “Thank Allah!!!” Uh, dude, maybe next time find a religion and country that doesn’t mind if you knock back a few cocktails and while you’re at it, you might want to ask your gawd why he landed you in the clink in the first place, letting you be violated by a 60 watt.
Didn’t I see this on Scrubs? I suppose he needs it to have been put there while he was unconscious because I am making the assumption that he might be executed if it happened a’purpose.
Since I can’t imagine how it got in there intact in the first place does it count as a miracle? If this is what Allah gets praised for, when does he get cursed? When they win the lottery?
I posted this on my blog yesterday. My husband is a bit skeptical even though I told him the story is from Reuters.
Apparently they don’t have a privacy law there in Pakistan to have this end up in print…or else they paid him for the story.
I don’t know how anyone would not know a lightbulb was up their ass…and how the hell did it even fit???? I don’t even want to contemplate that any further.
The story didn’t make it entirely clear what type of lightbulb it was. Mentally, I was picturing the kind you put in your lamps at home, but maybe it was smaller than that.
I believe that what we have here is a “Road to Damascus” moment for the anally-fixated. Mr. Muhammed may not have “seen” the light but he “felt” it and now thanks allah for freeing him from his wicked, liquor making ways. Next up for Fateh? A one-man, personal jihad against General Electric.
Ok, I hate to say this, but you DO see shit like this, several times a year, in the ER. (and yes, vegtables and dildos are fairly common as well). (remember folks, if it doesn’t have a string, handle or other wide base, don’t stick it up your ass, your colon can easily act as a vaccum)
How did it get up there? My best guess is a lot of lube and patience, and yes, if the body is relaxed and the object slippery (lubed) you would be AMAZED at what can (and has) gotten passed the anal muscles.
Now if you want to talk sick, we had a psych patient who had a ‘thing’ for pushing nails (construction, roofing, you know the pointy metal things) into his urethra. We still have the xrays of his penis on our ‘WTF’ wall. He came in with this ‘problem’ three times in a 40 day period. We finally got him committed but I’m not sure what became of him.
Flame821, I had a college friend who was an EMR; he used to tell us “insertion” anecdotes, too. The one that sticks in my mind (pun intended) was the woman who tried to vaginally pleasure herself with a frozen sausage - and ended up a victim of the tongue-to-flagpole phenomenon (yup, it got stuck in there; cold/dry surface versus hot/moist surface - you get the picture [I hope]).
It must be living hell being gay in a Muslim society…
The picture of the dude looking at the X-Ray is priceless. I want a huge wall poster of that for my living room.