In Memoriam
8 October 2006 by BobI’m not exactly sure how to say this, but I’ll try my best…
Sean was found dead in his bed in a sleeping position in his San Francisco apartment on Friday, 10/6, two weeks to the day after the death of his father.
He had not been well for some time, and people were trying to convince him to seek medical attention. Sean, always the optimist, most likely thought that his body would bounce-back from whatever was ailing him at the time — since it had, in all honesty, bounced-back from more crap than most human bodies could ever handle.
As a person, Sean was simply incredible. He tried to overcome all the stuff that happened to him throughout his life, and this made him an extremely sensitive individual. He would often just give money and help to complete strangers without hesitation (sometimes to his detriment), and he always had a social conscience. The pain, suffering, and injustice of others moved him tremendously.
He also had a knack for coming up with very creative solutions. With his amazing knowledge of the internet and web design, he used his social awareness to create websites that challenged conformity and established prejudices (i.e., in addition to this one, which he did with Ron). He won several awards for his work, and I was constantly amazed at his abilities. When he talked to me about the stuff he wanted to create, I would just listen and smile, because I had no idea how the hell anyone could ever make anything like that. But I always knew that he could.
Sean also used his creativity to make movies, comic books, and comedy skits. He was a producer, editor, screenwriter, and director. And, there was his drawing talent as well. He created a comedy team that cut a CD way back in the day, and the skits were hilarious. He also wrote a novel and a number of short stories.
His humor was always complex, dry, witty, and filled with all of those great 70s and 80s references (”I mean, whenever she changed into Wonder Woman somewhere, there’s always, like, this huge explosion — and no one ever fucking hears anything? Give me a break!”).
And I always loved making him laugh. I used to make him laugh so hard sometimes that he’d actually roar — especially over the phone. I always loved hearing that, and now I’ll always miss it.
I could go on, but I won’t. You get the idea.
There is a simple reason why I’m writing all of this: Sean’s attitude toward this blog. It’s very difficult to overemphasize how much Sean loved GIFS, and how much pride he felt from both the purpose of this site, and how much it has progressed.
When this site started (way back), it was just a little blog with only a few people posting. Now, of course, we have all of these amazing people sharing all of their experiences (with all these cool pictures!) — and our numbers continue to amaze me. Sean used to tell me that the numbers were so good for this site that they left his (very public) work website in the dust — and he even wondered (I’m sure only half-jokingly) if he should leave work and just do GIFS full-time! His active recruitment of people will always be appreciated.
This post has gone through several drafts, and I hope I did him justice. But, in any case, please feel free to add anything that comes to mind.
And since this is my post, I guess I’ll take the first shot: Sean, I loved you like a brother, you asshole. And I can’t believe you’re gone, you sonofabitch. But I’ll always love you and what you gave me. So, sleep, my brother. We’ll take it from here.
8 October 2006, on 8:37 pm
8 October 2006, on 8:37 pm
I wish I knew what to say. The energy and passion Sean brought to GifS made it his, and to say we’ll miss him is absurd understatement.
8 October 2006, on 8:38 pm
I’m just stunned. I can’t grasp this news, Bob. I don’t want to grasp it. I want to scream because it’s not fair. I wanted a chance to actually get to know him better than just exchanging emails and comments here. I guess I figured, one day, we’d all get together and laugh at how funny we all looked in person and how we don’t look anything like what everybody else imagined we would. It just fucking sucks and I wish I had something stronger than beer to lift to Sean’s memory. I’ll miss him just doesn’t cut it. Slainte.
8 October 2006, on 8:41 pm
I am too stunned and sad for words.
8 October 2006, on 8:46 pm
Another reader who doesn’t know what to say but feels she should say something.
8 October 2006, on 8:52 pm
This is a very sad day.
I’ll miss his wit and intellegence.
Damn….this sucks.
If his friends and family get to read some of the comments posted here, I wish you comfort in your time of loss. We all will miss him.
8 October 2006, on 9:03 pm
This is such sad news.
8 October 2006, on 9:33 pm
This is horrible news. I always loved coming here and reading his witty comments. He’ll truly be missed.
8 October 2006, on 9:39 pm
This is definitely a go-not-gently moment. I am truly sad.
8 October 2006, on 9:41 pm
That is so sad. I wish his family well and hope they can find comfort in the humor and good hearted nature of his life. I too thought that we would meet someday. Life is just too damn short.
8 October 2006, on 9:45 pm
I can believe there is no god. Having a hard time believing there is no Sean now. You are serious? FUCK!
8 October 2006, on 9:56 pm
=( I can’t believe it either…
Does anyone here have any pictures of him to attach to this post maybe? I mean, I hope it’s okay to ask.. it just seems befitting…
8 October 2006, on 10:02 pm
I too am speechless. Sean, I barely knew ye…and now you’re gone. I’m still grateful for your recognition a few posts back, the tip of the hat, etc. Before my divorce, my two best friends from High School were named Sean & Shawn. It’s the Irish version of my name–John (I’m of Scottish descent). I did find a fitting Irish proverb before I logged back onto GIFS tonite…the first time I couldn’t get past the first sentence before blurting out FUCK! and needing to take a nice long walk.
Anyway, I think this one’s appropriate, and nicely secular:
“Do not resent growing old;
Many are denied the privilege. -Irish Proverb”
Goodbye, friend…may we at least try to honor your memory by carrying on the struggle for Reason, Peace, Justice…all that stuff. I’m grateful to have known you at all, if only virtually here.
8 October 2006, on 10:19 pm
This is such a shock. My heart goes out to his family–to lose two members in such a short time is beyond terrible. He seemed to be a wonderful person.
8 October 2006, on 10:20 pm
Bob, I, too, would like to see a picture of Sean if it’s possible- just to put a face to the disembodied voice. Also, the “very public site” would be nice to see.
Here’s a couple songs for Sean; Dirty Old Town
and Sally MacLennane.
8 October 2006, on 10:49 pm
Wow, I can’t believe it. I know it is such a cliche, but since the death of my father on May 26 from complications after having a stent insertion, I realize how important it is to treasure and appreciate the people who matter most to us, because we never know when we are going to lose them.
There is a line uttered by Russell Crowe’s character in the movie ‘Gladiator’ that I like: “What we do in life echoes in eternity.” May Sean’s contribution to this blog always be remembered, and may it echo in eternity as well.
8 October 2006, on 10:55 pm
Bob, I, too, would like to see a picture of Sean if it’s possible- just to put a face to the disembodied voice. Also, the “very public site” would be nice to see.
Me too, Bob. It would be neat to put a face to his name and memory. I felt like Sean was getting to be a good friend of mine, though I couldn’t see what he looked like. (No, not like gawd! — but like an out-of-town relative who I email and write letters to, but don’t visit.) I began to really worry about him when he stopped answering my emails with questions about how he was doing and really important questions about stuff related to behind the scenes (like where do I find the pooping Jeebus animation).
We just don’t know about life…so we must live life to the fullest each and every day, tell family and friends how much they mean to you because we never know when it will be the last time we will see them.
This place isn’t going to be the same without Sean, but as JJR said it so well may we at least try to honor your memory by carrying on the struggle for Reason, Peace, Justice…all that stuff. I’m grateful to have known you at all, if only virtually here.
We will keep it going for you, Sean. You will be missed very, very much around here. We won’t forget you.
My heartfelt condolences to Sean’s sister and his family.
8 October 2006, on 10:56 pm
Hey Everyone…
Thanks so much for the kind words…
Concerning the pic, just give me some time…
This just happened, and we’re kinda fucked up right now…
(He was my brother-in-law, and I really loved that fucker)…
And RDZ, Sean loved The Pogues!…
Thanks so much for posting those videos…
8 October 2006, on 10:56 pm
Fuck
My wife and I had always looked forward to meeting you and having a drink with you, Sean. You will be sorely, sorely missed. I can’t even say how much.
Fuck
8 October 2006, on 10:59 pm
(He was my brother-in-law, and I really loved that fucker)…
My sympathies to you, Bob. Hang in there.
8 October 2006, on 11:01 pm
I had just wished him well in one of my last comments; and had been wondering why there hadn’t been any sign of him recently. This news is really a great shock to me! His warm persona was so evident in everything he wrote here.
I join all of you, my GifS friends, in this deeply sad mourning for our wonderful internet friend.
Yes…40 years was certainly WAY, WAY to short a life for our dear Sean!
My deepest condolences, also, to his family and all his associates.
8 October 2006, on 11:03 pm
you were regarded as some sort of a hero in our house, Sean! My husband Marcus and I thought very very highly of you. we assumed we would meet you sometime. ah! such is reality…unpredicable with no meaning, and with no rhyme or reason…you made the world a better place just by being in it.
8 October 2006, on 11:14 pm
You can all imagine the words I’m saying here and they aren’t pleasant.
I, too, emailed him a couple of times since his dad died just to see how he was doing, but since he was posting again, I assumed he was coping. But now, with this news, I remember his statement after his dad died that he had been very ill himself, and now I wonder about that.
Too young, too goddamn young. Bob, I didn’t know the family connection, I’m so sorry. Please give my best to your wife, too, and other family members. Can you post the obituary from the San Francisco paper when it appears, so we can see it? I also looked for the one that Sean said would be in the NY Times for his dad, but didn’t see one that I thought fit.
This truly cries out for the rending of garments, or something similarly passionate.
8 October 2006, on 11:39 pm
Bob:
Deepest & profound condolences.
We were supposed to get together for a beer, but it never happened.
A friend I never got to meet.
This world will be the poorer for his having left it.
8 October 2006, on 11:45 pm
Oh man. I honestly don’t know what to say. This is horrible and completely unexpected.
I honestly have nothing to say.
This really sucks.
8 October 2006, on 11:51 pm
Wow. I can’t believe this. How old was he? And what was his surname? I couldn’t find anything in the Chronicle obits.
Very sad.
8 October 2006, on 11:56 pm
Sean always said things the way I wanted to say them, but would have gotten me lynched in my insular Texas community.
Damn, I’m going to miss him and I’m just a lurker. I can’t imagine how the rest of you feel. My condolences to his friends and family, which don’t even begin to feel sufficient in this moment.
9 October 2006, on 12:12 am
We should somehow assemble all his posts in one place- a new category, maybe, so those unfamiliar with his iconoclastic joie de vivre- and us as well, could immerse themselves in it.
9 October 2006, on 12:17 am
Great idea Raindog, I was scrolling through the archives looking back over his posts…I just can’t fucking believe he is gone.
:…..(
9 October 2006, on 12:21 am
Shit.
I… I can’t believe this. Sean’s gone.
Holy hell.
I’m with Emily– I’m mostly a lurker, and I’m going to miss him. This hit me hard.
Wow. My deepest condolences to everyone who knew him and anyone feeling loss– today’s a sad day.
9 October 2006, on 12:41 am
Hey.. I just realised.. Anybody else feel it kind of eery that his last entry here was titled “I Am Alive”? And the first thing he said was “I live”? I was just going through his posts too, and that just hit me..
9 October 2006, on 12:44 am
I never knew Sean, but he was one of those people I wished I had known.
Maybe it doesn’t mean much, but when I read his posts , he cheered me up.
When I read about his death, I went to the nearest liquor store and bought a jug of wine. Then in the Roman tradition, I took a swig and poured the rest on the ground as a salute.
Goodbye, comrade. I will always carry you in my heart.
9 October 2006, on 1:05 am
I must say I am stunned. I have come to love this site and always look forward to seeing what was posted and always enjoyed his posts. He will be missed!
9 October 2006, on 2:10 am
We’ll miss you Sean.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JSR_6qfXTg
9 October 2006, on 3:01 am
That is so tragic. I’ve only been visiting this site for a few days, but it is very sad to hear of a father and a son dying so suddenly. He and his family are in my prayers.
- Tom
9 October 2006, on 3:27 am
I did not see that coming. Like others here I am stunned that we will no longer log on to another of Sean’s posts on the various absurdities associated with organised religion. It takes someone who genuinely cares about what is going on to keep up the commentary day in and day out in the hope that the voice of reason might be heard over the din of dogmatic bigotry. That Sean dedicated so much of his time to this site testifies to his passion for the rights of not only of himself but, more importantly, of others.
I cannot help but think that Sean’s death is a reminder to us all of the importance and fragility of this life we have. It is ours alone to do with what we will. Sean chose to use his to speak up. For that, I am grateful. His choice, along with those of others who care deeply about the effects of religious thought on our world, helped me to feel not so alone. It also encouraged me to speak up in my own way; to stand for the rights of others as well as my own, and to participate more in the community we are so fortunate to have. His contribution will certainly be missed. Yet, amongst those of us who have benefitted from it, and those who will continue to benefit from it, it will not be forgotten.
9 October 2006, on 3:36 am
Very unexpected and unfortunate news on my visit to Gifs, my condolences to those who were friends and family of his. Sean: the epitome of a damn well decent human being. Mahalo my borther, mahalo.
9 October 2006, on 4:32 am
I’m mostly a lurker but I have to say, I’m really shocked and saddened by this news. Thanks for letting us know Bob, even though it’s a difficult time all round.
He left behind a lot of people who loved him, were touched by his words and will never forget him. That’s all any of us can do.
Bye Sean.
9 October 2006, on 5:10 am
I can only hope that one of my comments made him smile or laugh or think or get pissed off
9 October 2006, on 6:31 am
Just shocked.
9 October 2006, on 6:37 am
I feel sad about Sean. I’ve only been visiting this site for a few months, and he was starting to become a familiar voice. I loved it when he pulled that gag on April 1st with the fake post. GIFS has to continue now. It’s his legacy.
9 October 2006, on 7:37 am
So sorry to hear this. I read this site every day - it’s strange how you can feel like you know people you’ve never met. My condolences to everyone who knew Sean in ‘real life’.
9 October 2006, on 7:56 am
Our deepest sympathies.
9 October 2006, on 9:24 am
I’m sorry I didn’t know him better.
9 October 2006, on 9:24 am
Mostly a lurker here too, heartbroken as well. My sympathies to Sean’s family, he is missed.
9 October 2006, on 9:35 am
It’s truly sad to hear of the death of someone like Sean. He was a great writer and I always looked forward to his articles and comments. To those of you out there who knew him in real life, my sympathies. He’ll be truly missed.
9 October 2006, on 9:42 am
Wow, I am getting this the next day and I can only echo what others have already said much better than I could’ve. He will be missed. I can’t believe it - we’d only exchanged some emails and the odd comments here but I will really miss him. This has been a really shitty year for losing some of my favourite talented bloggers.
9 October 2006, on 10:01 am
What happened to lya? I haven’t seen her here for a while.
9 October 2006, on 10:03 am
We had our differences, we found each other frustrating on certain issues. That being said, I’m shocked and saddened by the news.
9 October 2006, on 10:11 am
I just celebrated a close friend’s birthday this evening, then returned home to this news.
It tore my heart out.
If it hadn’t been you, Bob, I would’ve thought it was some kind of perverse joke – like he would “rise again” on the site in 3 days to glorious satirical fanfare.
I can still hardly believe he’s gone.
Sean and I had been emailing each other off and on for the last few months, and had planned to meet up before the end of the year.
He had been working very hard on developing the website for his job, as well as his documentary film project.
Recently, his emails had gotten fewer and farther between, but he’d attributed it to the work he was committed to completing and with his efforts to keep posting regularly here on GIfS in his inimitable, eloquent style.
He was a brilliant, sharp mind. A rapier wit. A passionate, creative man of reason.
A good friend.
A collection of his posts would be a fitting tribute. He was very, very proud of this site, and of how it has grown. Eve, Star, Raindog, Bob, Ron, Lya, King Retard – he frequently mentioned how much your contributions meant to GIfS and to him personally.
He greatly respected your work.
Sean will be truly missed, and his loss deeply felt.
Sonofabitch, this just plain sucks.
In closing, there are three Irish quotes that I think are worthy of Sean’s memoriam:
It’s impossible for a creative artist to be either a Puritan or a Fascist, because both are a negation of the creative urge. The only things a creative artist can be opposed to are ugliness and injustice.
Liam O’Flaherty
Life does not cease to be funny when people die anymore than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
G. B. Shaw
The English language brings out the best in the Irish. They court it like a beautiful woman. They make it bray with donkey laughter. They hurl it at the sky like a paint pot full of rainbows, and then make it chant a dirge for man’s fate and man’s follies that is as mournful as misty spring rain crying over the fallow earth.
T. E. Kalem
Rest in Peace, Sean.
9 October 2006, on 10:25 am
What happened to lya? I haven’t seen her here for a while.
Roya, Lya hasn’t been here for some time, the reasons for her leaving were personal ones.
9 October 2006, on 11:21 am
I’m still stunned by this news. Doesn’t seem all that long ago we were wishing Sean, “Happy Birthday.” His posts and comments showed sensitivity and humanitarian sensibilities. It truly is unfair that men of his sort die young when the world has so many war mongers deserving of a short life.
Richard Dawkins wrote in Unweaving the Rainbow:
“We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born.”
We were lucky to know Sean and share this brief slice of time.
Bob and family, so sorry for your loss.
9 October 2006, on 11:30 am
I am so sorry.
9 October 2006, on 11:43 am
Like everyone else, I’m shocked. I’ll always looked forward to coming here and gaining a new viewpoint from Sean and the others to use in a debate against some people’s superstitious mindset. He had some good ones. Now I’ll always wonder what else he could have taught me. Those are some big shoes to fill.
9 October 2006, on 11:49 am
Sean was an intellect to be reckoned with, I will sorely miss him. I posted the piece below when his father died it was so late that it was likely missed by him (and most others). This is now to all of us and to Bob and the rest of Sean’s family. I agree a picture would be nice, but I would really like to see his other work. I don’t know if I can do it without a last name and that brings up privacy issues. Bob (or others) if there is some way to do this eventually, I would greatly appreciate it.
Dear Sean,
Words of comfort are only fleetingly effective at a time like this. What I would say to you is that people live on in their children, and their effect on those around them. The idea of continuity of our loved one is very powerful, as atheists we can avail ourselves of this. We don’t need lofty gardens in heaven, our parents have imprinted us they have molded and shaped our minds and bodies, as such we are a living piece of them.
In the coming months, talk to your dad, it helps; the rest of the world will think you are communing with the spirits, you will be working out your own thoughts and feelings bouncing them off your internal representation of dad. This has great emotional benefit; you will have conversations you wished you had; the one sided conversations are not so one sided, in most cases you really do know what he would have said. It is the whole closure thing and that takes time and ritual. We atheists need rituals also, I think all humans do, but we can construct them of our minds, selves and the world around us not smoke and mirrors.
I think this a subject worthy of discussion with this group, we are very good at tearing down and debunking bullshit, but we also need to build. I believe that it is important to replace the valuable life support mechanisms that theism provides it members with tools of cultural rationalism. My first reaction is that we should give Sean a time to attend to his immediate grief. Sean no matter how tough we think we are emotional repercussions from the death of a parent come roiling out of our psyche at odd and unexpected moments. Once you are somewhat used to it on a visceral level, why not start a dialog on this, and allow you dad to continue to contribute to atheism, rational thought and the human condition.
Take some comfort that in the end he died with family, though unexpected and traumatic for your sister, he was not alone.
9 October 2006, on 12:29 pm
Here’s some verse from one of Sean’s favorite poets:
“Once,
a child,
a child of mine, if you must know,
brought me a flower,
clutched in his little hand so tight
I had to pry it free.
I have heard that in the Malay mountains
there is a flower,
largest in this world,
truncated,
parasitical,
apetalous.
It draws carrion-eating flies because
it smells of rotting flesh.
You,
who cannot tell your grief,
join me.
I can consume
nations of sufferers
entire.
I am the good parasite —
huge,
limbless,
noisome,
beautiful.
Let me live.”
and
“This is delicious, both meeting
and not meeting, being here and
not being here, wine half sipped
for full savor.
No preparation for this coming
together of self and self, no
effort to impress or entertain,
to induce hysteria, incite to
riot, get to know each other,
shake hands.
There has not been such a selfsame
conjunction here since the old man
went to bed with that bump on his
head and just lay there sleeping
and not sleeping, thinking and
not thinking, breathing and not
breathing, being and not being,
until that bright white morning
when, softly chuckling to himself,
he went off together into a vast
undisclosed satisfaction.”
9 October 2006, on 12:30 pm
I just logged on about half an hour ago for the first time since Friday. I had to walk outside for a while. I don’t know what to say, Bob, except I’m so sorry and we’re here for you and the rest of the family. We’ll treasure his memory and keep his legacy alive here at GifS and in many other ways.
He always liked that Dylan quote about raging against the dying light; I’m glad that’s what he did and never stopped fighting.
9 October 2006, on 12:33 pm
Here’s the Dylan Thomas poem:
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
9 October 2006, on 12:34 pm
This is so sad. I really enjoyed his comments and posts. He struck me as someone who sought to live in the moment. My sympathies to his family with two such tragic losses so close together.
9 October 2006, on 12:46 pm
My condolences to you Bob, and to yours and Sean’s family. This is a terribly sad day. I wrote for GiFS for a brief time “way back when”, and UTI was one of the first to blogroll you guys when you burst onto the scene. I never regretted that. Keep up the wonderful blogging for not only Sean’s sake, but for ours as well, and as a continuing tribute.
Hang in there, brother.
9 October 2006, on 12:48 pm
Oh, no.
Recently, Sean introduced us to “Bingo… Bingo the Clown-O”. I immediately let my children (8 and 6) watch it over and over (as much as they wanted). Thanks to Sean I have brainwashed my two children into never being brainwashed. Two saved, millions to go.
We’ll miss you, Sean. What a great sense you had of who would be coming to GiFS and what we needed to see…
9 October 2006, on 12:57 pm
I should have explained that the two poems- minus the titles and poet’s name for privacy’s sake, are by Sean’s father. Or, if they’re not, I’m going to feel really stupid- to go along with the sense of disreality and the physical body blow of Sean’s passing. I also found a picture but I’ll wait til Bob says it’s alright before linking to it.
9 October 2006, on 12:57 pm
9 October 2006, on 2:12 pm
I feel that in another few hours I may be able to cry. Right now, just intense rage that Sean should be dead while so many destructive people live. Here is Edna St. Vincent Millay’s “Dirge without Music.”
I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely.
Crowned with lilies and with laurel they go: but I am not resigned.
Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains - but the best is lost.
The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,-
They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.
Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.
9 October 2006, on 3:00 pm
Good-bye, Sean. The time was too short, but oh! What a time it was.
9 October 2006, on 3:03 pm
The atheist community, even lacking organization and rituals, is poorer for this loss. I know we honor him without platitudes and scripted nonsense. He will be missed but he leaves us big shoes to fill. Let that be our challenge and mission: to continue the struggle until we each breathe our last, and to pass the baton to those now awakening to the real Truth–we are each alone but not really…
I was enriched and empowered by Sean, and I honor his memory.
9 October 2006, on 3:25 pm
I don’t know what to say. I raise a toast to Sean tonight.
9 October 2006, on 3:35 pm
hi there, i’m not a frequent visitor here, but i have been a friend of sean’s here in sf. we met at work 2 yrs ago and became fast friends. i hope you guys will keep this site going and growing. i often heard him say how much this site has meant to him since it was begun, how it was a lifeline for him this last year when he has been going through a lot.
i just heard about him yesterday (sunday 10/8) and am still in shock. my husband just talked to him last tuesday. i had spoken to him just last sunday. we had been in constant contact with him over the last few weeks, talking to him on the phone just about every other day, trying to help him through all this. we were cycling through a couple of bad colds ourselves these last few days, but were going to meet up with him once we got better… i feel at such a loss over how this could have happened, how it could have slipped through our fingers so quickly, so unknowingly. we knew he was in trouble, but we didn’t see this coming at all. and i know we weren’t the only ones trying to help, to intervene. so i just don’t know what to think.
bob, your post was a perfect tribute to all that was wonderful about sean. i loved his passion for knowledge and ideas, his boundless curiosity for all subjects, not just politics, history and religion. when i became a mother last year, we had many conversations on pregnancy, motherhood, what it is to be a parent, and early childhood development. his ability to empathize with human suffering of all kinds showed the extent to which he was such a kind, caring, and giving person. in my small circle, he was one of those few individuals i thought defied categorization–he was so multi-talented, so full of intense vitality, and unabashedly expressive of his views. knowing him gave me faith in humanity, that if there were such people like sean on this planet, someone so smart and so profoundly feeling, then there was hope.
i know i will miss him, though for the moment, i am having a hard time grasping that he is really gone. regardless, i hope you all keep this site and the discussion alive. it meant so much to him, and so it means something to me, too.
9 October 2006, on 3:41 pm
Thank you for writing in, Linda; we will do our best.
9 October 2006, on 3:47 pm
Catherine,
Everytime a good person dies the first thing that comes to me is why so many hateful people keep living on. It’s not fair.
9 October 2006, on 4:02 pm
Linda, you were lucky to get to know Sean in person. Thanks for sharing your thoughts about him. Hang in there.
9 October 2006, on 4:34 pm
I…I don’t know what to say. I never met him in person but I always enjoyed reading his posts on this site.
He will be missed.
9 October 2006, on 4:40 pm
I’m sorry.
I have only started to read GIFS recently and I just started to look out for his posts. I kept getting a kick out of seeing posts from someone with the same name (and spelling) as me.
Little else really to say but you had an influence on me in just a few weeks and few blogs could say that!
Thanks.
9 October 2006, on 5:31 pm
I’m stunned. Deepest condolences to you all from another lurker. The good folks at Making Light posted the following poem by John M. Ford a few weeks ago after his death.
Against Entropy
The worm drives helically through the wood
And does not know the dust left in the bore
Once made the table integral and good;
And suddenly the crystal hits the floor.
Electrons find their paths in subtle ways,
A massless eddy in a trail of smoke;
The names of lovers, light of other days—
Perhaps you will not miss them. That’s the joke.
The universe winds down. That’s how it’s made.
But memory is everything to lose;
Although some of the colors have to fade,
Do not believe you’ll get the chance to choose.
Regret, by definition, comes too late;
Say what you mean. Bear witness. Iterate.
—John M. Ford
Sean did, and we are the richer for it.
9 October 2006, on 5:49 pm
Sean was an amazing mind, and an amazing writer. Other than that, I am speechless. May he rest in peace.
9 October 2006, on 5:54 pm
I wanted to leave a comment here about the shock and the sadness that I felt when i read that, but i can’t add anything to the emotion that has already been shown.
To those who really knew him (as opposed to someone like me who just knew his writing) take heart in knowing that you got to be in the presenece of a wonderful human being.
Thanks for the memories Sean.
9 October 2006, on 6:41 pm
RIP
9 October 2006, on 6:44 pm
Again, thanks so much, Everyone…
My wife and I have been coming back here often…
We love to read your thoughts…
Again, we’ll see long-term…
We still have to go to SF for all that “death business”…
I’ve always found it funny: the precise time when you need to grieve and not do these business-type things just happens to be the precise time when you are required to do them…
But, for the record, both Sean and I (and others) were always concerned with privacy…
The nature of this blog almost requires it…
Possible repercussions and all…
But we’ll see…
9 October 2006, on 7:23 pm
Don’t worry about it, Bob; just take care of what you have to, and yourselves most of all. As Raindog said, Slainte, Sean.
9 October 2006, on 8:39 pm
Wow. Just…wow. Only a few weeks ago I was reading Sean’s posts and laughing it up, and now he’s gone. He was a great guy, definitely a person to aspire to.
I’m definitely going to miss him…
9 October 2006, on 8:40 pm
Bob,
It is ironic that Sean has shared so much on this site and enlightened and amused so many across the world, yet the weirdos out there would surely seize this moment to intrude upon your family in its time of great sorrow. All of us are here to share your grief and I think we will all understand and respect your need for privacy.
May peace and love be with you.
9 October 2006, on 8:44 pm
Condolences. I’ve only been reading this site for a few months so I can’t claim to have known Sean like most of you, but I had always thought of him as the heart of this website. This is a sad day.
Rest in peace.
9 October 2006, on 8:44 pm
And Paris Hilton still walks the Earth. If ever there was proof of this site’s moniker it is that we no longer have the pleasure of Sean’s company, wit, & intelligence and yet we have the ubiquity, vapidness, & annoyance of that woman. If only life were fair and we could exchange….
My heartfelt condolences to Sean’s family and friends.
9 October 2006, on 8:44 pm
Sean just welcomed me to this blog a month ago. I shall miss his words of wisdom and humor. It’s difficult to ponder the death of one who has barely reached midlife. There’s so much more to do.
9 October 2006, on 8:54 pm
I had always thought of him as the heart of this website.
That he most definitely was.
9 October 2006, on 9:22 pm
Goodbye Sean. You will be missed.
My condolences to Sean’s friends and family. Your loss is our loss as well, we feel your pain.
9 October 2006, on 9:37 pm
I am so sorry to hear this. I corresponded with Sean just a small bit. From that small amount of emails, it was clear what a good person he was.
Yes, Bob. I agree. We’ll take it from here for him. We’ll keep fighting the good fight that he was fighting.
9 October 2006, on 9:59 pm
I’m absolutely floored by this news. Sean has been great to me ever since I came across this site. The world has lost a truly passionate and eloquent voice. Anything I can say right now feels so inconsequential, but I will always remember Sean’s humor, wit, fiery nature, his ability to make exactly the right comeback, and the strength with which he stood up for his beliefs.
9 October 2006, on 10:01 pm
I only dialogued with Sean once, in the “bingo the clowno” thread. I am sorry this happened to those who were close to him.
RIP Sean. Thanks for all you did here.
9 October 2006, on 11:08 pm
sean was a co-worker of mine (for almost 4 years). most of us found out about his passing this morning and are pretty choked up about it… and still coming to terms with this huge loss. but i just wanted to drop a quick note to say how much he has been (and will be) missed at work and personally. he was one of those brilliant people who possessed the rare talent of having huge vision and the ability to see that vision thru towards an amazing outcome. he approached life and work with a big heart and fierce passion. i’ll always remember his wit - sometimes biting, but always true. sean - you were one of a kind and i’m glad to have known you.
9 October 2006, on 11:13 pm
I just remembered.
Sean was the one who brought my “debate”, if it can be called that, with “Watchnj” to the front of the blog. He was the one who I got to shock by telling my age– and I was so grateful for his words of compliment and kindness he gave me. Of all the admins here, Sean was probably the one I knew the best– if you can count it as “knowing” him.
And he’s gone now.
Sean, you sonofabitch, now why’d you go and do that?
Gah. This is awful.
10 October 2006, on 12:01 am
Is it just me, or is it wholly refreshing that no one has made the typical inane comments like; “Gawd called him home” or “He’s in a better place now”?
I’m still processing Sean’s passing. Every time, I click the bookmark to come back here, I keep expecting one of his eloquent rants to top the posts. Same with my email box, like I’m Charlie Brown, waiting in futility for a valentine from the little red- headed girl. Guess I’ll just have another beer and revisit some of the highlights.
Granted, our favorite freakshow, Dani(near the bottom of the comments), is convinced that if Sean were to come back to us, he’d tell us all that we were wrong, that “GAWD IS REAL”! Don’t worry, I’ve been correcting her- though it is similar to herding cats.
10 October 2006, on 12:22 am
Whenever I saw a post by Sean, I knew I was in for a real treat.
I’m gonna miss that guy.
10 October 2006, on 12:28 am
RDZ, I know the feeling. I still can’t wrap my head around this, but thannks for putting a psycho in her place.
10 October 2006, on 1:35 am
Very sad news. Sean and the GifS community are definitely going to be in my thoughts in the days ahead.
Peace.
10 October 2006, on 4:34 am
I just started reading this blog recently, so I don’t feel like I really know the bloggers, but this is very sad news.
10 October 2006, on 8:59 am
Granted, our favorite freakshow, Dani(near the bottom of the comments), is convinced that if Sean were to come back to us, he’d tell us all that we were wrong, that “GAWD IS REAL”! Don’t worry, I’ve been correcting her- though it is similar to herding cats.
Herding cats, funny RDZ…that’s exactly how it seems from reading through the comments there. How dare she even mention our beloved friend! What an ASSHAT she is! Dani is like the psycho xian bitch from Trading Spouses. She is suffering from huge mental problems and it is a huge crime to allow people like that to reproduce. Maybe it’s her psychological problems causing it, but she is the biggest bitch I have encountered in a long while. RDZ, you did a fine job of putting the smackdown on her. Whoever Phronk is also told her a thing or two. Stupid bitch!
Yes, amazing there has been no drive-by xian bullshit in the queue for this post.
10 October 2006, on 10:05 am
Star, if there’s one thing I think that xians and atheists can agree on it’s that when someone dies, you just don’t disrespect the memory or the people mourning.
10 October 2006, on 10:11 am
Star, if there’s one thing I think that xians and atheists can agree on it’s that when someone dies, you just don’t disrespect the memory or the people mourning.
Matt, I agree for the most part…then sadly there are xians like Dani and the WBC Phelp’s gang who know nothing about respect for the dead and mourners.
10 October 2006, on 10:42 am
I just wanted to make it an even hundred. Still blown away. Still pissed at the injustice of it all. Still really glad I got to know Sean for the brief period I did. And still proud to be associated with his creation here. Yes, that’s right, so far as the origins of GiFS life, I’m a strict creationist. Gods peed.
10 October 2006, on 12:37 pm
I’m with you. I’m proud to be a part of this here little slice of blasphemy and slap in the face to the nonsensical zealots of the world. I’m still bummed as hell though.
10 October 2006, on 1:00 pm
It’s still so hard to digest, let alone write; I keep finding myself speechless…
10 October 2006, on 1:06 pm
My sincere condolences.
/back to lurking/
10 October 2006, on 1:10 pm
This is very sad news.
I’m mostly a lurker, but this site always brightens my day or challenges my mind.
Thanks to Sean for doing both.
My deep condolences to all who were close to him. The atheist community has a deep hole in it.
Take care, all.
10 October 2006, on 2:18 pm
On July 27, at 9:23 in the morning, Sean actually complimented a little post of mine. I was so proud I could have burst. I am sorry I could not have known him better. We need MORE like him, NOT fewer.
10 October 2006, on 2:26 pm
I just saw the news on my email, this is a little hard to fully take in and a hell of a shock. I don’t know what to say really, so I guess I’ll leave it at this. Kind of makes you forget about a few of your own petty problems doesn’t it? He may not be now, but in the very least, he did exist. But it still really sucks. Man, losing two family members so close must be awful. My condolences. I had to check a few times to make sure it hadn’t somehow jumped to april first, I had honestly hoped this was some sort of a joke or dream, I guess that’s just how I always react to this sort of thing. I just tend to hope it’s not real…
10 October 2006, on 2:52 pm
I don’t hardly know what to say except that it is completely surreal and wrong that Sean has left us. I was very close to him in real life and he was such a brilliant, generous, sensitive, fierce, kind, and funny person that we will all be poorer for his being gone. He also battled many demons and felt such rage at injustice, both in his personal life and in the bigger picture.
I know that GiFS was something he was devoted to and very proud of, and that the people here had become precious to him as a community. All your support after his dad’s death meant the world to him.
Best to all of you, and I am glad to know that his memory lives on here.
10 October 2006, on 3:31 pm
I am so shocked. I wish also to add my condolences to Sean’s family.
10 October 2006, on 6:13 pm
I was just thinking… would it be possible to put together a little retrospective of Sean’s posts here? I know it would be a huge undertaking. Where would one start?
Anyway… just a thought.
10 October 2006, on 7:28 pm
That’s a good idea, Audrey, thank you.
10 October 2006, on 9:12 pm
“Where would one start?”
How about at his last post, “I am alive”.
10 October 2006, on 9:21 pm
Sean wrote 450 posts here at GifS. That is a huge number of posts to relink to one place, but it can be done. It will just take some time.
10 October 2006, on 10:21 pm
To the moderators
I prepared a post the other day. I’ve held back in memory of Sean. I’ll try to link it to one of the first posts of Sean’s I read here at gifs. I’m not sure I know how to do that though. I think one of the things we can do effectively is that each Moderator can put together a post and link to one of Seans posts that meant something to you. 450 is a lot to handle. Unless there are any objections I will post tonight or tomorrow. It is really hard to consider that he is gone. We move on best by taking his memory with us.
10 October 2006, on 10:47 pm
Jimmer, in my opinion, if you have a post you should put it up. Not to sound cliched but I think an appropriate way to honor our friend is to put up the kind of stuff he loved reading on here. I also like the idea of each of linking a post to one of Sean’s. That would be really cool.
10 October 2006, on 11:06 pm
Hello:
I’ve only been reading GIFS about 6 weeks, but I too am shocked and saddened by this news. It truly sucks.
He will be missed
10 October 2006, on 11:32 pm
Delurking to give my condolenses. This is so sad! May he rest in peace.
10 October 2006, on 11:56 pm
Mods:
I’m not sure if this can be done or if its already been suggested, but how about putting all Sean’s posts in a separate Sean category. Then everyone can browse them at their leisure. Of course this would not preclude a Moderator from highlighting one in a new post if they have particular favorite. Just food for thought.
11 October 2006, on 12:04 am
I’m not sure if this can be done or if its already been suggested, but how about putting all Sean’s posts in a separate Sean category.
Captain Al - That can be done. Someone correct me if there is an easier way, but we would have to go through post-by-post and relink each one to the “Sean” category. It will take some time but I think we definitely should do that.
11 October 2006, on 7:51 am
I’ve been lurking here for a while now. This is my bastion of sanity while the Jehovah’s Witnesses pound at my door. I’m very saddened by this and also encouraged to see so many people come together.
11 October 2006, on 9:16 am
I’ve been reading GifS off and on for some time, and I always enjoyed Sean’s posts. May he rest in peace!
I’d like to add my voice to the chorus of those who wish to see a separate “Sean” category, and look forward to the day it will be made available.
11 October 2006, on 9:50 am
I’m terribly saddened by this news. Crossing swords with Sean was one of the reasons I spent as much time on GIFS as I have. I enjoyed his wit very much and will miss him greatly.
11 October 2006, on 11:43 am
Holy shit.
I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out what to write but I just can’t find the words… I was convinced that this was some kind of joke for a few minutes there. I hate that I didn’t see this post sooner. I feel sick.
Bob, I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. I didn’t know Sean for very long, or very well, but he was always one of my favorite posters here at GifS. I loved his humor. I’m so sorry that he’s gone. He will be sorely missed.
11 October 2006, on 12:16 pm
[...] I can’t tell you how sad I am about this. I didn’t know Sean very well, or for very long. I’m also upset about the fact that I just waltzed on over to GifS this morning and found out - two days after the sad news was posted. It makes me sick that I didn’t see this earlier - and I’m a (very occasional) contributer to GifS!
[...]
11 October 2006, on 2:04 pm
Wow, I just got back from a long weekend of fun to hear such heartbreaking news. So so sorry for the loss guys. MAy he live on in your memories.
11 October 2006, on 3:12 pm
Goodbye, Sean. May we strive to enrich the lives of others as much as you did for each of us.
11 October 2006, on 4:18 pm
Good suggestion about the link to the “Sean” posts. I think there’s a straightforward way to do it without hand-labeling. I’ll look into it.
11 October 2006, on 4:21 pm
Thanks Ron.
11 October 2006, on 7:28 pm
Just want to let everyone know I heard from Lya Kahlo via email and she asked me to pass along a little message:
“He was a very talented man. It’s a very great loss. I haven’t visited GIFS in a very long time; I had no idea he was sick. That’s terrible (and shocking!) news. Give my hugs to the GIFS
crew and my condolences to Bob - if you would be so kind.
Good luck and continued sucess to all y’all at GIFS.”
11 October 2006, on 7:54 pm
That was very sweet of her, Star; please say hi and thank you for me.
11 October 2006, on 8:06 pm
Eve, I will.
11 October 2006, on 9:33 pm
I read via RSS and don’t normally have time to make it into the comments, but I wanted to add my grief to this that we all share. I hope nobody forced a church funeral on him just to keep an obscure family member from being offended. I’m saddended by this news and I hope the family is coping as well as can be expected.
11 October 2006, on 11:45 pm
12 October 2006, on 7:44 am
As a lurker and second time poster, I hope I am not being presumptuous or offending anyone.
My condolences to Sean’s family and friends.
I was saddened to hear the news. Sean is a great loss to many around the world. (I am from Australia)
I only knew Sean though his insightful and thought-provoking posts. His words greatly helped me with my recent atheism and I cannot adequately express the debt and gratitude I owe to him.
It is dreadful to lose one of the good guys, as they are few and far between. Sean was one of a kind and we will no see his ilk again. May he rest in peace.
12 October 2006, on 7:52 am
I’m still torn up about Sean’s death. I wonder if we atheists have more of a appreciation of someone’s passing, as we are not proned to believe we will meet in some kind of an after life, despite how cool that’d be.
To everyone out there reading; if you’re sick, go and see a doctor. They use science to cure medical problems. The last thing the world needs is fewer Athesists.
12 October 2006, on 10:10 am
I’m still crying. I had been on a computer hiatus for a few days, detaching my mind from all of the intellectual force of the Internet. I jumped on GifS last night before bed, around 1am, just to see what’s going on in the world of atheism. I haven’t stopped getting upset when I think about it. The last thing he ever posted to me regarded the Dylan Thomas poem, part of which I had posted in his thread about his father. When Sean took the time to respond to a post I made, it always made my day. The same is true for Stardust, RDZ, and all of the intelligent and witty mods and commentors here. GifS has been my source of strength and has brought me hope.
Sean was an asshole, a jerk, on occasion, but often it was to the benefit of the other person. When there was something wrong with my thought process, Sean didn’t mind telling me that I hadn’t thought it through. He was honest, blunt, and open. He was kind, intelligent, stubborn, and a force of nature. He made me examine what I really think and fashion it into the hard nugget of truth that is my atheism, as well as helping me to