God has retired and moved to south Florida!
25 January 2007 by StardustHow did we miss this?
GROWING IN GRACE WHACKADOO WEBSITE
At first I thought it was a parody, but it’s a true story about another whackadoo who claims to be the man “Christ Jesus” who came back to earth to live in the lap of luxury in Doral, Florida… and sheeple flock to him! His followers lavish him with gifts, houses, cars and money and they really believe he is Jeebus in the flesh returned to earth as a pimp daddy!
“This self-proclaimed Son of God is a 60 year old former heroin addict and convict.”
Jeebus no longer has any hang-ups with material wealth, and has no problem taking advantage of stupid people. He has brought news that sin no longer exists! He is on his second earthling wife. The has clarified that there is no devil, and no hell…and prayer is a waste of time! Glory Halleluia!
This is from the Today Show on 8/22/06.
Newslink: The Man Who Claims To Be Jesus
25 January 2007, on 10:45 pm
Lmao. I have 3 Rolexes. I like them.
25 January 2007, on 11:16 pm
This guy in Florida is an impersonator con artist! According to Wikipedia, the real Jeebus lives in San Francisco!
And, Jesus has indeed made the list of well-known pimps!
25 January 2007, on 11:42 pm
Aye caramba! All you have to say is the word ‘delusional’, & another 1 pops up! I mean, these nutjobs are EVERYWHERE!
My skin’s starting to crawl a little.
Are some people so lacking in self-esteem, they have to either
A. Worship unseen beings, or
B. Claim they’re unseen beings?
Did I just answer my own question, or what?
Thanks for that link, Stardust. Very funny.
26 January 2007, on 3:21 am
I want to see a god-off between him and Moon, another Second Comer.
26 January 2007, on 6:55 am
What are these people do when this nutjob dies of old age? It sure took him along time to figure out who he was.
26 January 2007, on 9:22 am
What are these people do when this nutjob dies of old age? It sure took him along time to figure out who he was.
brodie, he says in one of the videos found on his crazy-ass website that he cannot die, that someone could come up and try to kill him and he will not die and cult members believe him and never stop to think that he says that because if someone tries to kill him, his body guards will kill whoever is trying to kill him? Like a mafia boss! Why would gawd need human bodyguards?
He’s like a thug who has come to town, demanding a part of their wealth, only instead of a gun he is using the bibble and capitalizing on stupid human superstition. I think he knows exactly what he is doing and that he is taking advantage of people.
He is hiding behind the “respect” that people and government feels they must have for any idiotic belief or crazy-ass, bogus “religion” that comes along. (My bet is that all the “gifts” the sheeple give him are tax free? And he flaunts these gifts right under the media’s noses.)
26 January 2007, on 9:42 am
Just look at the irony of a cartoon found on his website.
26 January 2007, on 9:53 am
Or that people would flock to such a claimaint. That’s what floors me. Though not as much as people worshiping a water stain on a highway overpass. THAT is just mental retardation, WAY beyond delusion.
26 January 2007, on 10:12 am
From Wikipedia
List of people who have claimed to be Jesus
and
Many people through history have claimed to be the Mahdi, a messianic figure expected in Islam.
26 January 2007, on 12:47 pm
Damn! Why didn’t I think of this? Been scratching around for 52 yrs. trying to eek out a marginal existance, when all along I could have been living like a king!
26 January 2007, on 1:05 pm
What are these people do when this nutjob dies of old age?
My husband says that they will propably just think that Jeebus’ spirit leaped out and went inside someone else or make up some other shit instead of admitting they all were fooled by a con-artist because of their extreme desire to feel good about themselves.
26 January 2007, on 1:55 pm
True, I think it would be hard for someone to accept that they’ve given their entire life’s savings to a fraud.
26 January 2007, on 1:57 pm
ROFTL. So Jeebus is a body-snatching alien. L Ron was right!!
26 January 2007, on 2:44 pm
Watching a priest who believes that a thin wafer is magically turned into the literal body of Jesus criticize a man for claiming to be the embodiment of Jesus is just hilarious. Talk about wood in your eyes.
The guy has some biblical support for saying he does greater things than Jesus. Jesus did tell his followers that they would do greater things than he did. So the interviewer who found that to be odd should do a better job of researching beforehand.
This “Jesus” has managed to convince some people there is no hell or sin or devil so it ain’t all bad. Seems to me that their beliefs are less threatening than Evangelical Fundies and if people want to pay him lots of money to feel good, how is this different than buying a mega screen HD television or going on a Carribean cruise? His materialism is refreshing considering some Xian beliefs about poverty and tithing.
His body guards seem redundant to requirements considering he apparently believes he cannot die. Obviously his followers haven’t seen the contradiction there. With all the money he has from his supporters I think it’s quite possible that his death could be hidden for a long long time while a successor has plastic surgery and adopts his identity. This guy may never “die”.
The “cult experts” seem to have blinders on if they don’t see the destructiveness of “mainstream” religion and the widespread brainwashing used by all world religions.
26 January 2007, on 2:56 pm
I was scrolling down our main page, and I just noticed how funny it was to see this post right before Old Git’s post. I mean, first you see, near the bottom of this post, the links that say, “The Man Who Claims to be Jesus,” and “CNN Interviews God on Earth” — and then, right below that, you see Old Git’s title, “Religions: If They’re Not Delusional Activities, What Are They?”
Man, that really cracked me up when I saw that.
Or maybe because I started drinking Jameson’s at around 10:00am, and everything’s funny.
Either way, it still cracked me up.
26 January 2007, on 3:06 pm
Bob, I admire your fortitude - waiting ’till 10:00AM before broaching the uisge bheatha.
26 January 2007, on 3:07 pm
Well, that’s easy! You can’t play Xbox games on a Jeebus, especially not a fake Jeebus. And you can’t visit nude beaches on a fake Jeebus either.
So this is why a Mega Screen HD TV and a Carribean Cruise are better than giving money to false prophets.
26 January 2007, on 3:07 pm
Now, wouldn’t gawd KNOW the time without a watch since he is in charge of it?
So, is he like the bad witch in Wizard of Oz and has zero powers in Munchkinland?
26 January 2007, on 3:16 pm
This guy is an obvious opportunist. It’s mind boggling how many suckers there are in the world! And I don’t feel sorry for them at all if they are that gullible.
26 January 2007, on 3:34 pm
Bob said: I was scrolling down our main page, and I just noticed how funny it was to see this post right before Old Git’s post. I mean, first you see, near the bottom of this post, the links that say, “The Man Who Claims to be Jesus,” and “CNN Interviews God on Earth” — and then, right below that, you see Old Git’s title, “Religions: If They’re Not Delusional Activities, What Are They?”
It couldn’t have been planned any better, but it was totally coincidental. It is hilarious that it worked out that way! LOL!
26 January 2007, on 3:50 pm
Revenant, at least the people worshipping the highway overpass water stain aren’t giving their money to it, although you could argue they are in the form of votive offerings (candles, flowers, etc.).
I really wouldn’t care what this guy was up to as long as he were only bilking consenting adults and not interfering in my surroundings or right to live my life my own way. What worries me is that the idiots who buy into his crap drag their children along with them - and that’s the criminality in him to me! Underage kids can’t escape their loony parents or him without very close oversight by the local authorities, which I hope is happening but can’t count on.
Notice that this jesus isn’t interested in taking his message to the rougher, tougher parts of the world; no icy-ass Kodiak Island or Iraqi pot shots for him, no sir! I bet he doesn’t even hang around Florida during hurricane season, or maybe he just hightails it outta Dodge when one threatens.
26 January 2007, on 4:02 pm
I really wouldn’t care what this guy was up to as long as he were only bilking consenting adults and not interfering in my surroundings or right to live my life my own way.
They protest in front of other churches and shout at parishoners as they come out of services. (Destroying icons and such in front of churches). As Lynda pointed out, pretty funny that one delusional group is protesting against another delusional group. He really carries things a bit too far and forgets he lives in a land where freedom of religion (no matter how stupid or delusional) is protected.
26 January 2007, on 4:05 pm
I’m sure they would if they thought someone else wouldn’t walk off with it.
26 January 2007, on 4:33 pm
But… ummmm……it’s……I’m….. How could….Did they……What about………..WOW!
26 January 2007, on 4:34 pm
I’m sure they would if they thought someone else wouldn’t walk off with it.
If there was a priest standing their taking handouts to preserve (now restore) the waterstain, I am certain that there will be many who would fork over lots of cash for the cause.
This waterstain caused such traffic problems here in Chicagoland. The crowd was a nuisance, and dangerous since the overpass is on a major expressway and people were stopping and getting on and off at that spot.
Then a guy got sick of it all and caused quite a ruckus when he painted “BIG LIE” across the stain, almost causing heart failure in some of the water stain worshippers. He was arrested for defacing a salt run-off stain.
Authorities painted over the stain because it had been “defaced” (how can you deface a stain for crying out loud???) Then many came to express their sorrow over the defaced salt runoff stain.
26 January 2007, on 5:34 pm
We do in fact have some very good posts here.
“Defaced” a stain. ROTFLMAO. That has got to be the all time most ridiculous thing I’ve heard. But what I want to know is why, WHY, do they keep calling this phantom woman a VIRGIN?
26 January 2007, on 5:55 pm
It should also be noted that this Jesus does not claim to be “god”. He calls himself Jesus “Man”. Could be that one of the problems he has with mainstream Xian religions is that they claim Jesus is god. One of the trinity down, two to go.
My point regarding people spending their money on various pursuits that make them feel good seemed to be misunderstood. If one chooses without fear of prosecution (as the government holds over the heads of those who may not want to spend their hard-earned money on poorly planned wars) to spend money on a club membership or putting expensive jewelery on a “friend”, who are we to criticize? Wasting money is in the eye of the beholder. It did not appear that anyone was getting their arms twisted. No one is being threatened with hell-fire or called a sinner, apparently, if they don’t supplement this man’s income.
I’m surprised that the media make such a big deal about the amount of money this guy gets compared to the mega-bucks actors receive for appearing in just one movie. He tells an apparently convincing story. He feeds them some promises. He motivates them. (Tony Robbins has made bundles motivating people too.)
It was also typically poor journalism to insinuate blame on the marchers for the violent responses they got when they showed “disrespect” for other religious sacred books and imagery. Reminds me of the reaction to some cartoonists who drew a bomb on Mohammad’s head.
26 January 2007, on 6:48 pm
Lynda, you said:
Unfortunately these cartoons were never published in UK, -our pusillanimous press wouldn’t dare stand up to the Muslim nutters who live here - so I’ve never seen them, but from my understanding, I believe that the one with the bomb on the so-called prophet’s head was not one of the original, but drawn by the Imams who wanted to foment jihad.
Do you have any further info on this please?
26 January 2007, on 7:46 pm
Old Git,
http://www.zombietime.com/mohammed_image_archive/jyllands-posten_cartoons/
Cartoons.I hope this works.
26 January 2007, on 7:56 pm
Every time I see yet another example of human gullibility it reinforces my conviction that the race is headed for extinction. And that’s no bad thing, folks. That’s no bad thing.
26 January 2007, on 9:59 pm
*lol* “Defacing a water stain-” *lol*!
26 January 2007, on 11:12 pm
Remy…WOW…That cartoon archive page is amazing. Of course, what’s more amazing is the total, humorless delusion, of the Muslims; and the ensuing insanity that allows for so much violence…even killing…over what we, freethinking atheists, at least, find so humorous.
Thanks for that link.
Are there similar links for the other ‘major’ Gawd contenders? Jeebus…Moses…cartoons, etc.? Yeah…even our recently bickered over…Zeusie et. al.?
27 January 2007, on 5:56 am
Remy,
Thanks for that link. Interesting, indeed.
So the bomb in the turban was one of the originals, but the really offensive ones were the three that the duplicitous Imams (is there any other kind?) added to stir up jihad.
I think some of them are really funny: Paradise running out of virgins for jihadist suicidees; why Muslims pray on their knees; the cartoonist surreptitiously drawing Mohammad - aware of the risks he was taking (death), etc.
I think it’s about time we stopped pussy-footing round these ignorant, superstitious, murderous fuckers.
Why doesn’t George Dubya Buffoon simply nuke the whole Middle East as an ‘Act of God’ and get it over with?
27 January 2007, on 6:08 am
Stardust, the link you gave led to an article with this in it:
You can imagine my amazement today after reading that when, after my morning dump, I found the face of the Virgin leering up at me from the mess in the toilet bowl.
My first reaction was not to flush this ordure away, but to run and get my wife to witness it, though it was hard to do so with my trousers round my ankles.
When my wife saw the beatific face of the Virgin moulded in the excrement, she was overcome with emotion - or was it the fumes, I wonder? She swooned, and it putting out her hand to save herself from falling, accidentally grabbed the flush handle, and the whole miraculous vision was sent into oblivion before it could be witnessed by the rest of the world.
Perhaps Gord will be kind to me, and send me another vision soon?
27 January 2007, on 7:06 am
TOG: your poor wife! Did you beat her for desecrating your offering?
27 January 2007, on 9:55 am
I once saw a vision of the Stay-Puffed Marshmallow Man in the woodgrain of panelling of my parents’ old house. (No Lie! I really saw him!) Is that a miracle?
27 January 2007, on 1:22 pm
Well, Old Git…consider it SOME consolation that it was the flush handle, and not the actual “Virgin mould” that she grabbed.
How long do you think you’d both have waited, before washing the ‘vision’ off your dear wife’s hand?
By the way…does your wife…
cook?
27 January 2007, on 1:36 pm
ChuckA! That was a very personal question!
BTW, why would you need to know if TOG’s wife is “cookin‘!”?
27 January 2007, on 2:27 pm
Here is a little Carlin for weekend viewing. You better get it before they take it down. Good stuff.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4430459531638940044&q=back+in+town&hl=en
27 January 2007, on 2:35 pm
Well, Naomi…now you’ve gone and done it…you’ve ‘forced my hand’…
Actually, my first question was REALLY going to be:
“Old Git;…
you have a wife?”
My apologies, Old Git…
Naomi [the devil-tress?] made me ask it!
27 January 2007, on 2:37 pm
Of many years standing, Chuck.
27 January 2007, on 3:44 pm
jimmer, thanks for the Carlin link…good one! I ended up watching the entire thing.
27 January 2007, on 5:33 pm
Stardust
Me too. I kept it on in the background and found it really funny.
28 January 2007, on 9:55 pm
Whilst doing some home renovation on the downstairs bathroom this weekend, I noticed that on one of the drywall sections that we had been sanding to remove adhesive had a small portion that looked like, dare I say, JEEBUS!
Actually it looked more like Dr. Weil, or perhaps Tom Bombadil on acid (Tim Benzedrine! Let’s see someone locate THAT reference without using the web.)
29 January 2007, on 4:21 pm
Some of us here are old enough to remember references such as that, Revenant, from the days long before the internet even existed.
I won’t spoil the surprise for others, though - but, instead, merely hint: “How could anyone ever become bored with the greatest story ever told?”
29 January 2007, on 7:07 pm
Hehe, you got it.
30 January 2007, on 5:21 pm
Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadil - Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings?
30 January 2007, on 7:17 pm
No, no, eve, I was referring to the Tim Benzedrine reference. Bombadil is too easy.
30 January 2007, on 9:55 pm
Unless I’m missing some cultural reference (and I cheated to find Bored of the Rings), I thought I knew who Tim is/was. Take your tongue outta your cheek, wipe that smirk offa your face and share the secret, please.
Naomi
31 January 2007, on 1:37 am
This doesn’t seem any less believable than any other religion. How will Christians and Catholics know when Jesus comes back? Could be this guy.
1 February 2007, on 4:03 am
This guy is the real thing! I fucked god in the ass and he is our child.
1 February 2007, on 8:25 pm
I’d have to cheat to find out, Revenant, so I’ll be moral (gasp! A non-theist, moral?) and ethical (double-gasp!) and admit I don’t know–
For some reason it makes me think of Aldous Huxley, though…
1 February 2007, on 9:51 pm
Lol, that’s ok. Tim Benzedrine is Tom Bombadil’s counterpart in the Harvard Lampoon’s Bored of the Rings. A superb parody of Tolkien’s masterpiece. Was written in the 60’s I believe, so it’s rife with pop references of the time. It’s rude, obnoxious, and hilarious.
1 February 2007, on 11:41 pm
“‘Oh, I see!’ said the blind man!”
2 February 2007, on 2:07 pm
And Tim was modelled on Timothy Leary: “Mr. Tune In, Turn On, Drop Out” of LSD fame, according to a wiki entry…
21 February 2007, on 5:15 pm
[...] In case his name seems familiar, it’s because we first met him in Stardust’s January 25, 2007 post, God Has Retired and Moved to South Florida. Apparently he’s decided that simply being the Second Coming of Christ was just not enough to con - excuse me, convert people - in the highly competitive market of religious cults. [snippets] Members of Growing in Grace, a controversial religious sect headquartered in Doral, said they were following the example of their leader, José Luis De Jesús Miranda [in English, “Joseph Louis of Jesus Miranda“], who has claimed to be Jesus and recently declared himself the Antichrist… [...]