Texas is now officially untethered from Planet Earth
17 February 2007 by Naomi
This is so truly bizarre, I hope you can follow it. (BTW: the image, lifted from GoogleImages and found by entering “stupid Texas”, seemed appropriate–but has no direct bearing on this story; if I can find a better one, I will replace it.)
From Welcome to Pottersville (#59–Assclowns of the Week: President in Diapers Edition; please enjoy the photo of GWB before perusing the portion I’m bringing you!):
From Kos himself comes this amazing story out of, surprise surprise, Texas. Warren Chisum, chairman of the powerful Texas House Appropriations committee, had a week ago circulated a memo (in a mercifully brief [two-page].PDF file) that not only challenges the “theories” of evolution, not only challenges that the earth revolves around the sun, not only challenges that the earth actually rotates on its own axis BUT that catapulting such despicable propaganda is a Jewish plot.
Think I’m making this up? Trust me, as good as I am, I can’t. Just click on the link and read this guy’s memo and then weep bitterly in sackcloth and ashes that Molly Ivins isn’t alive to read this.
If your PC can’t support a .pdf file, I’ll give you the links from the second page of Warren “AssClown” Chisum’s supporting documentation for his bizarre assertions, and also urges legislators across American to introduce legislation outlawing Evolution–AND he guarantees it will stand up in a court of law! From a “fixed-earth” blog: (Oh, please link there–you won’t thank me, but you won’t be sorry you went–it’s really worse than you think!)
& anti-evolution web page of
The Fair Education Foundation, Inc.
Exposing the False Science Idol of Evolutionism,
and Proving the Truthfulness of the Bible from Creation to Heaven…- since 1973 -
Marshall Hall, Pres.
From BurntOrangeReport: Warren “Anti-CopernicaChisum”
It’s clear Chisum’s god…doesn’t want to fiddle around with open and public debate about whether the Legislature ought to stop strangling of the middle class before it tightens its grip on our throats and transfers more middle class money to the rich.
Why fund public schools or keep colleges available to the middle class if they are filling our children’s heads with damaging Kabbalistic fantasies? (Yes, Copernicus, Darwin, et al, are part of a Kabbalistic Conspiracy according to the fixed-earth crowd).
Gravity (Pft!), night and day (bah!), biological reproduction (ugh!). Who needs such immoral ideas corrupting our kids? No, spend the money on those with more visible signs of God’s Blessing. The Elect. The ones with the money.
I hope Chisum has the decency to appropriate a little more for velcro, though. I’m worried about the gravity thing.
If the Earth isn’t spinning, then my head must be! What’s next? Green, projectile vomiting?
I’ve got a headache…
17 February 2007, on 3:25 am
Hey Naomi, I did something like this:
http://biblioblography.blogspot.com/2006/07/allegories-gone-wild-of-fantasies.html
This guy’s definitely a wooster. God-a-doodle-woo!
(I thought he also claimed it was an ‘evolutionary’ conspiracy, but then, when you pull crap outta your ass, you get a whole lotta…you get the idea).
17 February 2007, on 6:14 am
I guess these guys figured out what I have been thinking about for some days now since I have been reading some literature dealing with xianity and science in historical context…
that basically xianity has been dead since Galileo… (not literally but go with me here)
the prime tenets of xiantiy rest upon “man in the image of gaud” or in other religi-sets that “gowad always loves and cares for you the human being.”
This is the reason Galileo caused such a stir (or upheaval rather.) Pre-Galileo cosmology was Earth as the center of the universe which matched with crosstian morality and theology.
If man was no longer the LITERAL center of the universe what now? UTTER MORAL CHAOS!!! OOGEY BOOGEY BOOGEY!!!
Basically since Copernicus and Galileo and other people for truth of the heliocentric model of the solar system, jesianity has been playing their favorite game of apologetics.
It was further spent spinning when (gasp!) the solar system wasn’t found to be the center of the galaxy. And then further when the Milky Way wasn’t the center of the goduverse!
These idiots in x-xas are just trying to pull their physical reality in line with their dead theology. Too bad things don’t work that way and never have and never will.
17 February 2007, on 6:39 am
Sorry, Naomi, but I find some people are just too insane for me to be bothered with – and this guy’s one of them!
Oh, and YES, I did visit his web-page before coming to that conclusion.
He should be kept in a locked ward, permanently sedated.
17 February 2007, on 10:55 am
Naomi
You beat me to it. I have been looking into this for the past few days. It started in Georgia and Chisum has stated that he was “Just” passing this along as a favor. If you go to the Non-moving earth site, scroll to the Subject menu, click #6 and read the Georgia bill that has been standardized. It is the second 1-3.
How can we keep allowing these fuckups a place at the legislative table? We need tests just to make sure these nutbags can read. The worst part of this is that people take this whole thing seriously. The entire legislature should be called to answer for this nonsense. We should give them reading comprehension tests if nothing else.
There is an antidote. The following is from Evolution vs Creationism: Abuse of Science and Democracy. Check out the whole series if you have time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrlYz0_Xjyc&mode=related&search=
17 February 2007, on 11:09 am
Also more can be found at Red State Rabble here:
http://redstaterabble.blogspot.com/
Chisum proves himself to be inept and unable to understand even the simplest of ideas.
17 February 2007, on 12:45 pm
wow, what a prehistoric windbag
hey gang longtime lurker fellow heathen
aim a great fan, especially tog, stardust,
chuck-a and well the hole gifs gang
i would contribute more, unfortunately
expressing my self with the “pen”
ain’t my forte
keep up the good work
17 February 2007, on 12:53 pm
… I couldn’t even read that – the rainbow colours, the completely incompetent coding, the sheer hideous (lack of) design…
As for the rest, I weep for the species. Can’t we just give them their own quarantined island somewhere and let them indulge their fantasies while leaving the rest of us in peace?
17 February 2007, on 12:59 pm
enfant terrible – welcome and feel free to comment anytime!
17 February 2007, on 1:04 pm
Looks like more ways to bilk money out of ignorant religious folks by selling bizarro books. There is money to be made off of religious SUCKERS!
It’s just like Havidol. People who are looking for shit like this to back up what they want to believe, they will fork over big bucks for it, like the mindless sheeple they are.
17 February 2007, on 1:15 pm
Jimmer: I didn’t mean to scoop you. Sorry.
Most of these morons don’t think this stuff up for themselves–they just allow themselves to used as “delivery morons” for others who spend their entire lives propping up a dying “philososhit”. One prime example, of course, is the well-funded Discovery Institute. They’re grasping at straws and trying to build a raft, while drowning in the Sea of Reason.
Yes, tests would be one way to weed out these dickweeds. The obvious way would be to disqualify them for extreme beliefs in gawds. No Santorum, no Bush, no Mormons/Catholics/SBCs, etc. Of course, being politicians, they’d just pretend to be atheists!
FUBAR, your comments remind us that we ARE watching the death throes of a sick behemoth, in denial of its own mortality and desperate to live. And its twin, the neoconservatives, is also dying. They’ve entered into a compact to find a cure; unfortunately, for them, Reason, Rationality and Reality are coming to put them down. Thinking that enough Biblio-Laetrile and Vitamin J will make them “well” again, they are in their cave, howling and thrashing with pain at the “unfairness of it all”.
Now is not the time to be kind and gentle! Let’s be the “villagers with torches”, marching off to poke staves at the beasts.
17 February 2007, on 1:56 pm
jimmer:
Kinda like ‘you must have this many I.Q points to take this ride’, no?
17 February 2007, on 3:11 pm
And breed!
And, yes, I have read KA’s post. So what’s wrong with having to have an IQ in double figures? That would surely keep many of these nutbags (another professional term, BTW) out of the way of decent folk!
17 February 2007, on 3:13 pm
FUBAR,
Once again you made me laugh so much it hurt; please be careful in future – I am an old man and such exertion really wears me out.
17 February 2007, on 3:18 pm
enfant terrible,
I don’t know why, but clicking on your name gets me a stupid F/fox message saying, in effect, that your site unavailable. Sad, because I’m sure it’s worth visiting.
Stardust has already invited you to comment anytime, and I’d just like to reiterate that, since anyone with sufficient nous to see through the crapola that is religion has to be able to say something that’s worth listening to.
‘Till the next time,
17 February 2007, on 5:38 pm
Well, Naomi…you’ve gone and done it again!
This time, it’s a ‘masterful’ demonstration of just HOW stupid some of earth’s lesser evolved apes are…and just how far that stupidity can ‘catapult’ its owner.
YIKES!…”CHAIRMAN of the powerful Texas House Appropriations committee”!
Yeah…I can only imagine what Molly Ivins…the, truly GREAT, former Texan…would think.
I’m inclined to agree totally with The Old Git on NOT wasting too much energy regarding this kind of nutcase insanity.
However…the MEDIA should be exposing this outrageous level of stupidity, bigtime…not persuing the lowest common denominator level. The current example being…the endless, vulture-like, reporting on the already dead Anna Nicole Smith case.
[I'm somehow reminded of Sam Kinison's hilarious joking reference to Necrophilia. Wish I has a clip!]
Your excellent reporting, Naomi, reminds me of the old cowboy (Texan?) folk song…
“The Old Chisum Trail”…only in this case I’d…as is my wont…do a lyric rewrite, and change the title to “The Old Jissum(?) Trail”. Perhaps starting off similarly with:
[Remember the orignal?:
"Now come along folks, and listen to my tale..."
My version:
"Now CUM along folks, and lip some off my tail..."
OK...sorry?...I'll have to 'work' on that, I guess.
[By the way...what IS the official spelling of that 'J' or 'G' word?...do you know?...
Naomi?...Stardust?...Jimmer?...Old Git?...
enfant terrible? (Thanks, and Welcome, enfant!)
However, THIS thought [suggestion] needs no wasteful, drawn-out, energy ‘bothering’:
Just like Jissum…after its “catapulsion”…
perhaps ‘Chairman’ Chisum needs to be carefully ‘wiped up’…expeditiously carried…
and tossed…HEAD FIRST…
into the GifSum-like “Jeebus crapper”!
Now…Who wants to turn the handle?…
Naomi?…anyone?
17 February 2007, on 8:45 pm
I can’t see anybody topping this for the title of Worst Fundie Blunder Of The Year. And it’s only February.
17 February 2007, on 9:07 pm
Naomi
The early bird gets the worm. I was suspicious that this was an Onion ruse. I promised myself that I would never let those bastards catch me again. LOL
Cap’t Al
Your right. These are some of the most stupid people I have ever read about. Proof that Christ is not looking out for his own and that only a fucking retard could believe in such nonsense. The only reason I ever get angry at these people is that they are just too stupid to understand normal thinking. And it is definitely too much to ask for them to get educated in science.
18 February 2007, on 2:22 am
I’m going have to second what Joules said. That site is atrociously made. The colors, the fonts, and the text styles are so utterly amateurish. But there is a sucker born every minute, so I’m sure they’ll profit, their nonprofessional design notwithstanding.
18 February 2007, on 2:44 am
Please, tell me it is a parody. It can’t be real. I don’t want to lose the little hope I have left in the human race.
18 February 2007, on 2:55 am
I was reassured by the Fixed Earth site’s contention that the planet does NOT rotate around the Sun because we can see with our own eyes that it’s the SUN traveling through the sky. I will shake a copy of the book in the face of anyone who disagrees with me when I tell them the Earth is flat. After all, I can SEE it is with my own eyes!
18 February 2007, on 2:52 pm
…found by entering “stupid Texas”…
The other day someone performed a search for “Warren Chisum is stupid,” and found me.
18 February 2007, on 3:27 pm
Oh, Austin Atheist, I’m so sorry! That must have been a huge “ego-bruising” experience!
At the risk of poaching on The Old Git’s territory, I’ll ask: How did that make you feel?
Although, when I visited the google-search, I did find that you’re in stellar company–and at #3! Well above Welcome to Pottersville, which is where I found it!
18 February 2007, on 3:39 pm
I just went back to AustinAtheist’s google search and “searched within the results” for gods4suckers.net, to see if GifS is listed.
Well, no, not quite. Here’s an “oldie but goodie” from GifS before I started reading it: Texans to say Hell No to Gay Marriage, November 1, 2005, by Sharona.
The real fun is, as always, in the Comments!
18 February 2007, on 3:43 pm
At first I laughed my ass off, but then the more I read, the more I began to take the matter quite seriously. That day I wrote to Texas Citizens for Science asking to officially become a member. Steven Schafersman, the president of TCS himself, was kind enough to reply. And let me tell you, he had some choice words to say about Chisum. So now I’ll be shouting “Don’t Mess With Textbooks” with the best of them.
18 February 2007, on 4:23 pm
A/A: good move! Science and scientists need our support and “luv”, to show them we’re behind them all the way.
So far, the war against ignorance seems to be going poorly, but I predict that it will speed up soon. The people who reflexively respond, “Yes, I’m a xian”, when asked, will be examining this whole issue and begin to ask themselves the good questions and getting the good answers.
When that happens, the RaptureRight and their xianists will turn really ugly–we’ve only seen the tip of their toxic iceberg, so far. I expect violence, much like the “Left Behind” video game has. All those xian teens playing it now will be tomorrow’s “Warriors for X”…
I haven’t met Mr.Smith&Wesson yet–maybe I should make friends before it’s too late! Known atheists must be on a list, kept by Jerry/Dob/ertson**, a-k-a the Unholy Trinity.
**Jerry Falwell, James Dobson, Pat Robertson
19 February 2007, on 12:56 pm
I guess that we’re only a step from teaching the highly scientifically acclaimed theory of cubic time. Not that it is worse than ID, though.
Link to cubic time fixed. I hope this post by Sean was the one you were referring to… I’ll check back to see if this wasn’t it. N
19 February 2007, on 7:48 pm
K131n
Time cube is here;
http://www.timecube.com/
19 February 2007, on 9:23 pm
K131n, when I first linked, it took me back to a GifS error message. I searched the archives and found the one I posted. I like Sean’s better.
Yours is…in a word…way, way out there! In the absence of knowing anything else about you, and based solely on the evidence presented by your link, I urge you to seek help!
In another time, without the web to sow your bad-seed ideas–
–you’d be just another kook, in a sandwich board, parading the public streets and being deemed a nuisance!
Seek help quickly!