We Must Protect Little Snowflake!
31 December 2007 by Raindogzilla
By way of Janeville, Wisconsin: “….Um…”
Shit, I don’t even feel like quoting this crap. Basically, a smart-ass high school kid goes up before his speech class with a copy of the Bibble and Atlas Shrugged- or “shrug-ged” as the snowflake in question pronounces it. He proceeds to tear a couple pages out of the former, while mocking his audience. Student gets B, removed from class, evaluated, and then reinstated.Snowflake, Elle Jacobson, 17, on the other hand, feels mightily threatened, goes running home to daddy, who does everything but compare it to Columbine and announces he’s pulling both his little snowflakes out of that horrible school.
Normally, I wouldn’t name the snowflake in question but fuck that. She’s an idiot-in-training, soon to be a fullblown idiot like her dad and the whole world needs to know
To steal a headline from a kos commenter, somebody call her a “WAAAAAAAHHmbulance!“
31 December 2007, on 8:51 am
Well, if she didn’t like that, she wouldn’t have liked some of the goings-on at a local metal gig I attended (here in Adelaide, Australia) some years back. Not only did one of the bands on the bill have the delightful name of Jesus Anal Penetration, but another (one with the equally warm and fuzzy moniker of Hatred Slave; a group called Freak Fuck Fest completed the bill) took a leaf out of Marilyn Manson’s book (if you’ll pardon the pun), and shredded a Bible on stage. The luckless copy of the book in question had borne the title “The Great News” :P, and had apparently been given to its eventual destroyer - the band’s vocalist - by a Sunday morning doorknocker from one of the usual God-bothering cults. Just before he destroyed the Bible, he uttered in a suitably evil-sounding death metal growl, “The only good news will be when these fuckers stop bothering me!” or words to that effect. Great stuff!
As for the actual news story, the phrase “storm in a teacup” springs to mind. Oh well, must have been one of those proverbial slow news days or something. What I want to know, though, is: what happened to the copy of Atlas Shrug-ged?! (Actually, from what I’ve heard, that’s a bit of a stupid book too.)
31 December 2007, on 9:44 am
My conspiracy theory goes like this: Snowflake has slacked off, playing colored wrist bracelets and oral sex with her purity pledge pals, has come to class unprepared for her own Emerson speech, a transgression that surely would result in a failing mark and be hard to explain to Daddy, experiences proto-atheist demonstration and seizes it for the wonderful, “dog ate my homework” variety excuse it is, is crestfallen when Daddy not only buys the subterfuge but elects to yank her from the school altogether. Acyclovir to follow.
31 December 2007, on 12:43 pm
Hmmm…
‘Snowflake’, Elle Jacobson [ala the wicked witch of the West?]:
“I’M MELTING!”
[Cue the flying monkey music?]
31 December 2007, on 1:23 pm
I don’t want to call down the Randroid Defense Brigade, but yeah, Ayn Rand’s philosophy of “I happen to be rich, therefore all the poor are stupid, lazy scumbags who aren’t fit to be my slaves” is pretty craptastic, too.
31 December 2007, on 3:58 pm
Actually, stogoe, phrased that way, Rand sounds like that new gospel of prosperity, The Secret, Prayer of Jabez, forget that old camel through a needle’s eye crap that the fundies seem to like so much these days.
Or, conversely, “Atlas Shrugged” is the antithesis of the teachings attributed to Jeebus. Guess it works either way fro purposes of demonstration.
31 December 2007, on 6:03 pm
The kid must have done something right in class as he got a “B” for a grade. I’d have given an “A” for causing others to THINK!
31 December 2007, on 6:49 pm
ah yes, rational self interest, that old perverted concept…
As for the snowflake… I’m reminded of the line from The Last Supper (1995): “You know what you need Heather? You know what you really need? A nice stiff dick to shut that big mouth of yours.” Alas, I couldn’t find video of that scene on youtube.
31 December 2007, on 7:59 pm
We must remember that a fundy’s faith is threatened if the wind changes direction.
1 January 2008, on 5:13 am
I posted pretty much the same comment at Pharyngula. It sums up my feelings on this ridiculous matter.
There has to be a better account of what he actually did, in full. How much was presentation, how much was random emotional outburst.
If this was a planned statement, and the assignment was write and present an advocating argument or opinion piece on a self-chosen subject(very common assignments in high school English classes) then the worst he should get is a bad grade if his writing was poor, maybe some points off for bad words if he violated the teacher’s known standards.
In my junior year honors English class, I did a reading of Johnathan Edward’s “Sinners in the hands of an angry God” sermon in the style of a Southern fundie preacher. Bulging veins, screaming, direct eye contact with my classmates. Damned them all to hell repeatedly, foaming at the mouth. I did slightly (and intentionally) offend a couple of the Christians in class. Most of them loved it, and the teacher had me back the following year to perform it for her next class.
My senior year, I wrote and performed a mock-country song called “I Only Know Three Chords.” It was juvenile and purposefully offensive towards country music fans in the class. I got a B+. I guess teachers and administrators have finally lost what little humor they had when I was in school.
All I see in this instance are more whiny bitch-ass christians being enabled in their persecution fantasies by paranoid conformity enforcers. Business as usual these days.
1 January 2008, on 5:55 am
Here is a story of xian book banning from Texas. You are in for a surprise, well maybe not.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUq2d2OFRkk&feature=related
There is also this montage of xian attitudes including a book-burning bonfire.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njkeBvipOLg
1 January 2008, on 1:03 pm
bernarda,
Thanks again. I was surprized. Banning Fahrenheit 451!!??
1 January 2008, on 1:15 pm
what a nice family! they are exactly the type of pro-lifeers who’s daughter will be pregnant next year. what then dad? pull your daughter out of life (with a coat hanger)?
1 January 2008, on 4:59 pm
Banning “Fahrenheit 451″ …..?! My irony-meter just exploded.
Here’s a lovely snippet I discovered among the comments in the Gazette site, linked to from one of the many comments in the Pharyngula article (I’ve also posted this same bit myself there):
Of course, I bet the creationists aren’t seeing the evolution in their own arguments (or at best, they’ll try to claim it’s only microevolution, as though millimetres could exist without kilometres also automatically existing; macroevolution would be an argument about creation suddenly becoming an argument about geocentrism or homosexuality).
1 January 2008, on 10:50 pm
OT somewhat–
When I was at the grocery store today, standing in line at the checkout, I saw a booklet. It was a book in that “Complete Idiots Guide” series.
In this case it was “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Mysteries of the Bible.”
No further comment is necessary.
2 January 2008, on 12:45 pm
I actually went and watched the video *head explodes* and I can only wonder, what is the threat? They keep saying the boy was suspended because of a threat? WHAT THREAT? challenging someones religious stupidity isn’t a threat. UGH!
2 January 2008, on 7:10 pm
http://gazettextra.com/news/2007/dec/20/bible-incident-draws-concerns/
That’s the link for the article about the “incident.”
It says that the kid had to have a psychological evaluation before he could return to school.
Also many of the students who were in the classroom during the speech say that they didn’t feel offended at all, so I have no idea what would make this girl think he was threatening.
2 January 2008, on 10:58 pm
^ A psychological eval? For being one of the few kids in class that doesn’t talk to his imaginary dad or read iron age mythology and believe it’s a history book?
What a wonderfully kooky world we live in.
4 January 2008, on 1:05 pm
Here is a rather nice story about belief in Santa Claus and other imaginary beings. The author tells it through her child’s behavior.
http://cosmicvariance.com/2007/12/27/saying-goodbye-to-santa/
9 January 2008, on 11:44 pm
Now if she said, “My beliefs have never been so threatened,” that might have been a bit closer to the truth. Look, she made the choice to become a Christian, and has to realize that not everyone feels the need to fall back on ancient stories and belief sets — oh, sorry, I mean, “her parents made the choice to inform her that there were no other alternatives to Christianity.” But that still doesn’t excuse her from simply being a self-righteous asshole.