Believe or else . . .
23 February 2008 by StardustGod will fuck you up!
In case you missed it in the post below, here is a fun video Spirula pointed to.
This is the basic message of Christianity, isn’t it? (And also Islam.) My husband’s Christian co-workers couldn’t help but smile when he showed it to them, and they could not dispute it. It’s what they believe, so what can they say!
I might just send this as a response to any god forwards or evangelizing messages I get via email in the future. 
Sing along, kids!
23 February 2008, on 6:56 pm
Hey, that’s kinda catchy.
23 February 2008, on 7:08 pm
Nice little tune. I must say though, anyone who abuses helpless animals can get fucked up for all I care. Granted, it won’t be by any god, but I think they could have chosen a better sin for the song than bestiality.
23 February 2008, on 7:32 pm
I downloaded the song from iTunes so I can play it for my other secular friends (and a few of the non-humor impaired theist ones). It’s called “The Hand of the Almighty” performed by John R. Butler and is available on the album Best of Red Peters Comedy Music Hour, Vol. 1.
23 February 2008, on 8:28 pm
Hey, I was just watching that video the other night! It is a catchy little ditty. Much better to have swimmin’ through your head all day than Rock of Ages or some such crap.
23 February 2008, on 9:48 pm
That last lyric almost made me fall out of my chair.
23 February 2008, on 10:39 pm
I love the tag line. To a southern baptist, that’s only a step above a unitarian.
23 February 2008, on 10:40 pm
It has a nice beat and you can dance to it. I give it a 9! My personal favorite lyrics on point? Memphis Minnie by way of Led Zeppelin;
“Cryin’ won’t help you, prayin’ won’t do you no good…”
When the Levee Breaks
23 February 2008, on 11:52 pm
That tune’s melody reminds me of a ‘tongue in cheek’ (teeth?) tune I wrote way back in 1969; I called it…
“Ah Cain’t Get the Yellar Off Ma Teeth!”
Somehow, I think I’ve lived long enough to regret that title!
OK…only slightly OT?…BUT…
In case anyone missed this…
“Saudi men arrested for flirting”
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7260314.stm
*snip*
“Prosecutors in Saudi Arabia have begun investigating 57 young men who were arrested on Thursday for flirting with girls at shopping centres in Mecca.
The men are accused of wearing indecent clothes, playing loud music and dancing in order to attract the attention of girls, the Saudi Gazette reported.”
*snip*
“The ban is partly because of the connection with a “pagan Christian holiday”, and also because the festival itself is seen as encouraging relations between the sexes outside marriage, punishable by law in the kingdom.”
Wait a minute…Christians are pagans? Holy Shi-ite!…or maybe…
“Heavens to Mergatroid”?
What utter stupidity religion foists on numb-skull, brainwashed, delusional, ’sheeple’ societies!
Like Hitchens says…”Religion poisons everything”.
Oh…by the way…
Fuck Mecca!
And what!…for equal time?…
Fuck Jerusalem?
Come to think of it…while I’m being cynical…
Fuck Planet Earth?
I’m KIDDING, GifSters…put your stones down!
And Stardust…PLEASE!…put your whistle away?
24 February 2008, on 10:53 am
Like you say, this is exactly what they believe. They want to present their “loving god,” but Christianity seems to be more about fear than anything else. Perhaps that is why Bush is so fond of it.
24 February 2008, on 5:59 pm
Nice video–I’ve heard the audio before and it always makes me laugh out loud, but the video is a nice touch.
25 February 2008, on 10:14 am
Moderator here…it’s what you Xians believe, isn’t it? If there is any bitterness it is of the religious against the non-religious or those who do not believe as you do.
It sounds like the singer had some personal experience with this non-existent being he calls God.
No…just the followers of this evil god.
Why don’t we get a little more detail as to how you all came to your own personal conclusions and what was the major influence in your conclusions about God the evil ogre and his sinister followers.
We got all the details to come to our conclusions from you evil Bible.
NOTE:
Last I heard, an atheist is one who believes there is NO GOD, non existent.
This is correct. There is no evidence for the existence of your god. You must believe on faith alone.
I know this is an atheist website, but it sure sounds like a lot of hatred for something that doesn’t exist.
Yes indeed, this is an atheist site. You have a keen eye for the obvious. But no hatred of your god, can’t hate what doesn’t exist!
It is ironic all this ranting and raving about a hatred for a god who doesn’t even exist and for people who follow after this non-existent (hateful) being.
Again, we cannot hate something that does not exist. But we can hate the way Xian trolls come here and drop your turds in our house.
How can you hate something that doesn’t exist?
We can’t hate something that does not exist. You are being redundant.
Or is atheism just a form of hatred for a being called God?
OMFSM You are so redundant it isn’t even fucking funny. THERE IS NO GOD. But we do hate trolls.
Or an atheist just chooses to hate and not believe, and all the while knows He exists.
Typical Xian, making shit up as you go along and flame-baiting.
This is faulty reasoning and logic.
With your god beliefs there is no reasoning or logic. Merely delusion.
I would have to conclude that it takes just as much faith, if not more, to “believe” that God doesn’t exist.
Where is your evidence for the existence of this god you believe in? There is none. Until evidence is provided (and not quoting from your mythology book) we have no reason to believe a god exists.
But knowing this, the sweet thing is… the choice is each of ours and if we are civilized human beings we have to respect those choices of others or we are just as guilty of bigotry as the ones we accuse of bigotry.
We did not seek you out, you came here. What did you expect to happen coming onto our website all defensive over a lil ol’ video that says exactly what you believe your god does. He fucks up non-believers.
25 February 2008, on 10:34 am
If God is for suckers, sign me up!
I would rather be a sucker for God and live forever, than a sucker for satan anyday.
IPSO…There is no evidence for the existence of god, there is no evidence for the existence of
satan. A sucker is a person easily cheated or deceived. Therefore since you believing something based on
zero evidence, you are indeed a sucker. Glad you admit it. ~Moderator
25 February 2008, on 10:59 am
I love it when fundies admit they are suckers!
25 February 2008, on 12:16 pm
God suckers? Satan suckers?
Oh well, I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised coming from Jesus munchers.
25 February 2008, on 4:46 pm
Dearest Moderator,
Wow, your intellect just boggles the mind, hold on my head is spinning #~%^&*#$%@&.
Can you help me out and prove to me God doesn’t exist since you hold such fathomless knowledge?
You can only help yourself. You made the claim that a god exists. If I told you I own a pink unicorn, it would not be up to you to prove that I don’t
#1 Have you EVER read the bible yourself?
Most of us here, if not all, actually have….and some have taught it. How would we know how to mock and criticize it if we haven’t read it? How would we think the video is funny if we don’t know the stories contained in your evil bible?
Have YOU read the Bible? Do you really know what it says? Try going through the old testament. Your god is a dick.
#2 Can you show me where it is wrong?
Show us where you are right.
Historically, Spiritually, Archeologically.
Know I am assuming that you know that Egypt exists,
does not prove god exists
the Euphrates River, The Red Sea and basically that man exists, the Roman Empire, The Greek Empire, the seven day week, BC and AD.
does not prove god exists
#3 How do you explain the existence of life…ANY LIFE?
You need some science courses. Have you slept through school, or did you even go to school? Are you one of those homeschooled IDiots? Just because you don’t know something doesn’t mean you make things up.
#4 How do you explain the perfect order of the universe (which happens to mean ONE-VOICE) That faithfully moves without change?
Prove that “ONE-VOICE”…as far as changes…EVERYTHING changes. You seriously need some education! Holy crap you are dumb!
It is sad for someone who has to result to childish name calling.
Sucker is not a name. It is a description…meaning gullible.
Sucker is a very deep and profound word. I thought it was a sweet piece of candy, usually on the end of a stick that gives delight to its eaters.
It is? LOL! Sucker means gullible, and you are that! LOL! We call the candy on a stick a sucker because you suck on it. Do I have to explain everything to you?
Seeing you resort to cheap shot childish little name callings I can be sure your intellect is a bit challenged.
Bwaaaaahaaaaa! You don’t even know what the world intellect means without looking it up.
Could you ever imagine that I would place all my hope of eternity on a mere mortal with such hatred and limited knowledge?
There is no eternity, only a hope or wish for eternity. That doesn’t make it a reality. You say we have hatred because we laugh at your ridiculous beliefs. We don’t hate you or your god…can’t hate something that doesn’t exist. But we are weary of uneducated folks like yourself who believe they have all the answers to life and can’t even put forth a good argument with evidence in support of those beliefs. You have presented nothing of intelligence. And when you are trolling atheist blogs, make sure you have something of substance and intelligence to present our you will end up being asshatted and “persecuted” whatever you want to call it.
Maybe you can reason like an adult instead of breathing hateful little names. Are all athiests that hateful and bitter? What a sad bunch.
And you are a sad little troll. You are the one who came into OUR playground with your attacks and comments and offered nothing intellectual to the discussion. You just proved that you are like the imbecile women in the video. Now, go find someplace else to play.
~Moderator
25 February 2008, on 4:57 pm
Wow, lots of asshatting today. I’m a little busy today, but am enjoying the reading material.
25 February 2008, on 6:06 pm
Travdawg, I think the xian children are bored today.
They must be getting a bit of cabin fever from being snowed in or something. I am going to have to order a cleaning service to keep the queue cleaned out! Holy shit!
26 February 2008, on 3:33 am
Hmmm…I wonder if any hat stores just MIGHT be carrying ‘Ass Hats’, these days. If not…could that be, perhaps, a VERY lucrative new, Fundie chapeau, product line?
[scene; Haberdashery somewhere in the Babble belt?]:
[Owner = O]: “Can I help you Sir?”
[Believer (Fundie) = B]: “Ummm…I’m looking, in particular, for a really nice religious believer hat. You know, hats are kinda coming back in style these days.”
[O]: “Yes, to be sure!…I see that you’re clutching a pretty fancy looking babble there. May I ask…Would you characterize yourself as a babble literalist; meaning, of course, that you don’t really believe in Science, Evolution…or even…rational thinking?”
[B]: “Ummm…Yes; I believe…like the babble says…in stoning gay people, and I absolutely NEVER eat shrimp! And I believe in the power of prayer to literally move mountains! Now, you probably think I’m an ass for believing as I do.
[O]: (barely holding back from spraying his coffee through his nose) “And your hat size is…?
Oh, wait…nevermind. I think you might take an Extra Large. It doesn’t really matter. There’s a selection of really nice religious hats at the back of the store. It’s our newest line…their an adjustable…one size fits all…called…
(GifSter chorus…with ‘Large Hall’ reverb):
“ASS HATS!”
ROIT!
Of course, another version, would be in the toilet seat section of a…erm…
Home Depot…?