Stupid Christian Quotes
8 March 2008 by Stardust
Here are some actual quotes by Christians that I have been accumulating till I had enough to do a fun weekend post. Funny, but sadly pathetic at the same time.
“I find it almost comical how unbelievers will blame a God they don’t believe in, but they will not let evolution take the blame for amputees not being able to heal.”
Defender of Christianity“I have never claimed God was proveable. But neither is evolution. If it is, grab yourself a monkey and evolve me a man.”
Rom831“With the upcomming trip to Mars. And Nasa wanting to find life on it, will make it so that everything will have to be rethinked and retheorized. Plans to replace evolution as the starting point for life have already been implied. Movies like: Mission to Mars pretty much showed what the theory was all about.”
ikester7579“I believe that the words of Jesus in other languages are what he said, but they are always translated into God’s heavenly language afterwards.”
lukasaurus“Anti-Creationists have been known to lie and misrepresent. They have also been known to spread those lies and misrepresentations. ”
Joe G“Has anyone ever dealt with a demon that makes you constantly tired? Almost like “it” keeps you from doing anything for God or anyone?”
ginzell“I don’t believe that global warming is happening. I don’t believe that humans can destroy a globe that they didn’t create. Besides, after the entire history of the universe (only 6K years), how much damage could we have done?”
Khristeeanos“I would have a problem voting for any one who is not a Christian, regardless of the political party. I also consider a vote for a Democrat to be a vote against God. Democrats are the ones who want to take God out of everything. I am not saying all Republicans believe in God, but they are not trying to get Him out of America either.”
HeadBangforJesus“You have been brainwashed and can only think inside your scientific box.”
Am“For those that think the Bible has “fiction” in it….what part(s)? ”
Dan“We Christians have been laying low for too long, but we´re slowly being pushed into militancy by ” pseudo- scientists like yourselves. True, we did burn down all them “pagan” libraries 2000 years ago and the world was better off for it. Nothing wrong ´bout fresh starts.”
The Ascetic Crusader“I’m basically scoffing at the evolutionist idea of cavemen. I’m saying “Cavemen?! Hah! You think the Tower of Babel back there was made by cavemen?!?”
Sayna“Common sense is a stumbling block in the path to a democrat run America.”
hayden
And here is one that is not so funny because it is a reflection of the attitudes of a majority of god botherers in this country:
[Would you rather have a not so bright Christian leading the country, or a smart atheist?]
I’ll go with the not so smart Christian.
Atheist have no solid moral base to stand on - they change their idea’s of what is morally permissible with science or politics. This is due to a lack of objective truth (God) and no sense of ultimate justice for our wrong doings. No matter how smart the world thinks an atheist is, remember he is in reality, insane.
Geocajun
8 March 2008, on 9:36 pm
Excellent! And scary. The (lack of) thought process of some people is beyond my comprehension, of which I’m thankful. The first quote made my brain hurt.
These are probably well known, but worth revisiting… http://duggmirror.com/comedy/100_Greatest_Quotes_from_fundamentalist_christian_chat_rooms/
*sigh*
8 March 2008, on 9:36 pm
Star;
Thanks for the laughs, however, I found myself automatically smacking my head with the heel of my hand after reading each comment, and now my head hurts real bad-like.
Regarding the comment about the President (which is all too painful and not so funny after 7 years of exactly what this “mental couch-potato” is wishing for):
“This is due to a lack of objective truth (God) and no sense of ultimate justice for our wrong doings.”
Ah yes, the old “Objective Truth” argument. (this moron forgot the obligate capitalization of the word “Truth;” must have been sleeping through that day in “stock-demagoguery debate 101″). Always fun to watch the xtian hamsters run themselves into a furious lather on their logic wheel trying to explain this one.
And since, outside of the magical land of make-believe, there is no “ultimate justice,” us wacky atheists spend our precious energy on such misguided missions as seeking justice in this lifetime. Silly rabbits, us.
8 March 2008, on 9:40 pm
Teh stoopid… it hurtz…
8 March 2008, on 9:50 pm
Thanks a lot Stardust. I think I’m actually dumber now for having read those.
8 March 2008, on 9:53 pm
“I have never claimed God was proveable. But neither is evolution. If it is, grab yourself a monkey and evolve me a man.”
Rom831
This one was especially funny to me because I score the science portion of academic achievement tests for 8th grade and high school and these are the answers I sometimes get, especially from students in the red states. Pathetic.
8 March 2008, on 10:50 pm
When I worked in school libraries I had to deal with plenty of fundie idiots. Bad enough they live in this perpetual self enforced ignorance but they insist that everyone else should too.
They call screaming when their child brings home a “Goosebumps” or “Harry Potter” book and suddenly the elementary school library is a satanist playground.
And how dare I answer questions truthfully!
Can’t tell you how many times I caught shit for doing that!
One parent called screaming because her twelve year old informed her that men and women have the same number of ribs. He read it in the evil encyclopedia! [dun dun dun!]
Never in my life did I ever imagine myself having to explain to someone why I would not remove the encyclopedia from a school library. Or why an encyclopedia does not quote the bible in it’s articles. [because it's nonfiction, duh.]
8 March 2008, on 11:37 pm
Must…. fight…. stupid…. can’t…. think…. too… much…. KAHN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8 March 2008, on 11:43 pm
Seriously though, I made a point in an unfinished essay that god is nothing more than a totalitarian dictator, and one of the points I made was that those dictators control what sources of information their subjects are allowed to access.
These people are just validating my point.
8 March 2008, on 11:50 pm
Aggg! My eyes! The goggles, zhey do notzing!!
9 March 2008, on 12:19 am
Scanning through those amazingly brain numbing tidbits…[I'll return to Angie's page link later]…brought back a purposely dumb sounding (i.e…with an extremely backward hillbilly accent) exclamation by a fellow musician traveling companion in 1970; he was from Richmond Virginia, by the way.
I can still hear him saying…
“Or yu shittin’ moi?”
[No insult to any of you Southern GifSters intended, by the way!]
9 March 2008, on 12:49 am
“I have never claimed God was proveable. But neither is evolution. If it is, grab yourself a monkey and evolve me a man.”
Okay, first, make sure the monkey is female and ideally as sexually attractive as it’s possible for a monkey to be- you’re probably gonna want to go with a particularly fetching bonobo because those chicks are known for giving it away. Then, have the sexy time with your monkey over and over again til she comes up pregnant.
When your little monkey child is born, slather it’s face and it’s extremities with depilatory preparations and send it to Sunday school(ed. note: remember that your monkey child will be significantly advanced intellectually compared to the other church children so a young adults bible study may be more appropriate for your five year old monkey child).
When your monkey child becomes sexually mature, impregnate it with the seed of a good homeschooled Ezekiel or Zebediah. Repeat as necessary and come see me in about a million years.
Any questions?
9 March 2008, on 1:07 am
I hope these quotes will be even funnier in the future.
http://www.AtheistRevolution.com
9 March 2008, on 8:56 am
This one had me ROTFLMAO
Here’s another one to make science teachers cry:
I wonder what awesomestnerd thinks that big bright ball in the sky is? This is the stuff teachers hear all the time.
9 March 2008, on 9:18 am
Wow… and you would think with the advancements of that humanity has made, that people wouldn’t be so dumb! gravity myth… that quote is so ridiculous it almost seems made up!!! HAHA!
9 March 2008, on 9:40 am
Aliathan, you should see some that are on the tests I score. LOL! “Your science will not help you” is one I have seen.
9 March 2008, on 10:59 am
Wouldn’t it be easier for you just to hang out at http://www.fstdt.com? Sign up and you can submit them. Hands down, the funniest (and most terrifying) web site on the internet.
9 March 2008, on 11:59 am
I found the amputees one at the start funny.
Hello! We’re perfectly capable of blaming evolution for the inability of amputees to regenerate limbs. Unlike they do with their fictional deity, we never pretended that evolution was perfect, omnipotent, or benevolent. Evolution’s a messy, impersonal process, and thus it explains why the problem exists, and why there’s no easy solution. Religion can make no such explanation, and actively discourages people from looking for them.
9 March 2008, on 12:19 pm
Actually BD, evolution does allow some species, like star fish, to regenerate their limbs!
9 March 2008, on 12:48 pm
Tommy, on a comment thread one time someone brought up about starfish being able to regenerate their limbs and a fundie says “See! Gawd is showing that He CAN heal amputees if He wants to.”
9 March 2008, on 1:09 pm
You really should have added some of the insane postings of the newly formed punching bag that is Edward Gordon.
http://christiancrosstalk.blogspot.com/
His latest swipe at atheists in his posting about Patrick Swayze is just plain sick. And to think, the little bastard actually works in an ICU.
Funny thing however, he actually had to make a posting begging god bothers to post to his replies section. Seems we atheists are the only ones responding to his nonsense. He can’t even get fellow fundies to reply.
9 March 2008, on 1:10 pm
It’s amazing the pretzel logic some of them employ.
9 March 2008, on 1:36 pm
Dr. Karl, if Edward is for real, he has severe mental problems. Christians even end up washing their hands of him. He is enjoying the traffic because it feeds his egotistical megalomaniacal cravings for attention.
And to think, the little bastard actually works in an ICU.
You left out that he works as a TRAVELING ICU nurse and lives in an RV.
9 March 2008, on 1:52 pm
“Has anyone ever dealt with a demon that makes you constantly tired? Almost like “it” keeps you from doing anything for God or anyone?”
ginzell
Sounds like someone needs meth rehab.
9 March 2008, on 3:01 pm
It’s quotes like these that make me want to go kill something. These squealing little pigs for Jeebus don’t understand what they spout off about, whether it’s evolution, science in general, religion, or politics. They are so naive and stupid that they can’t see it when Republicans and Democrats cynically use their religious beliefs to manipulate them into voting a certain way, even though said politicians are probably about as religious as we are.
It’s unbelievable and really depressing to realize that we used to elect presidents based on their intelligence, eloquence, and ability to actually do what they said they would. Nowadays, people like the ones who write comments like the ones above wouldn’t understand or appreciate half the things Roosevelt or Eisenhower said or did. They’d just vote for a William Jennings Bryan clone instead.
But hey, as long as he waves a Bible around and screeches about “family values” and Gawd, it’s all good, right? Grrrrrr.
9 March 2008, on 4:57 pm
“For those that think the Bible has “fiction” in it….what part(s)?”
Try every word, every sentence, every chapter, every book. The whole enchilada. Bilge. Nonsense. Poppycock. Skullduggery. Charlatanism. Hocus pocus. Foolishness. Claptrap. B.S. You name it.
9 March 2008, on 5:13 pm
Stardust, I think Edward has a demon shaped like Florence Nightingale possessing him. I makes him want to “help” everyone. I read enough of his replies to comments to make my skull get soft and start to sag but not before I recognized the evidence of a form of delusion that I think is named after Ms. Nightingale. I’m no psychologist but I think it is related to another affliction known as “messiah complex.”
Oh rats! Wouldn’t you know it. I just had a strong impulse to help him! How human of me. And me an atheist and all.
9 March 2008, on 7:21 pm
I WORK with people in an EDUCATIONAL setting who repeat the crap posted on Xian blogs like Crotchtalk! Folks, these idiots DO walk among us, DO teach kiddoes, DO reproduce, DO vote, DO have a driver’s license, DO have COLLEGE degrees, and MASTERS degrees and, well, they seem NORMAL until they open their mouths! ROFL!!!
9 March 2008, on 7:25 pm
Oh, and most of them DO date…DateMyPet.com. Scary thought. LOL!
9 March 2008, on 9:05 pm
Just tried to leave a comment to Edwards’ latest post and he deleted it because I spelled “God” as “Gawd.” Claimed this was disrespectful. I understand it’s his blog, so it’s his pissing ground and his rules; but to cry “disrespect” on a blog entirely dedicated to bigoted disrespect towards non-believers is disingenuous.
Asshat.
9 March 2008, on 10:24 pm
If they weren’t so dangerous they’d be funny.
9 March 2008, on 11:26 pm
Fritzy, yes, Edward is a huge asshat, or very good at pretending to be an asshat for his own weird kind of etertainment. He is just so over the top that I think he has to be a spoof blogger.
It would be funny if we all trolled his blog and just wrote GAWDGAWDGAWDGAWDGAWD again and again. That’s another thing I find odd…that there are so many atheist trolls and multiple anonymouses any serious Christian would have had the moderator option turned on. We do here for fundie trolls, I do at my personal blog. Does anyone else find it odd that Edward is so way over the top, provokes atheists and then leaves everything open for anonymous comments…but then just picks and chooses who he wants to delete. It’s like he just has to delete some to make him look real.
I don’t think Edward is a real christian.
9 March 2008, on 11:55 pm
Here is one for English teachers:
“The only thing I don’t like about them is they sell foreign language versions of the KJB. I don’t think that’s right. We know the only true translation is the 1600’s version in English…..It’s too risky for anybody to translate that into other languages. Mistakes can creep in… and that can lead to heresy. True Christians should only read English.’
10 March 2008, on 6:28 am
And here is one of Edward’s latest quotes
“Well, the universe is pretty objective. I can’t really prove to you the universe exists, but there you go.”
10 March 2008, on 12:16 pm
Star, these quotes remind me of our own GifS collection; I posted about them last here.
My personal all-time favorite is still “science can prove nothing it is just backed up with evidence which is backed up with more evidence.”
OK, post and thread highjacking over…
10 March 2008, on 3:16 pm
“science can prove nothing it is just backed up with evidence which is backed up with more evidence.”
ROTFLMAO, I remember that one! LOL! That was priceless. That was around the same time as “oh how the fires crackled!”
10 March 2008, on 4:13 pm
This is one of the great gifts of religion. It makes people ignorant and it keeps them that way. It fosters an ongoing underclass.
On my morning subway ride, I see lots of folks reading the bible and/or religious tracts of one kind or another. I would bet a lot of cash that there aren’t too many neurosurgeons, physicists, lawyers or university professors among them. Extra looser points can be awarded to those who move their lips as they read or underline passages.
10 March 2008, on 4:20 pm
Sheesh, this is about as stupid as it gets. I don’t associate with people like this so it rally blows me away that they exist in the U.S.. I was working with some of these types about a month ago and we were at the motel watching a program on the Discovery channel. It fwas explaining about how evolution from apes to man took place. It was the one about the 23 and 24 chromosome and telomeres etc. So as it goes the other guy is telling me that the program is aobut how evolution can’t be real. Until they showed exactly how it works out. He changed the channel immediately. I asked him why he was afraid of the truth and laughed at him. He was pissed, I eventually quit working for them.
Also “evidence backed by evidence” didn’t they say that it was just a bunch of facts too?
And I saw a license plate surround that says
“I see SHEEPLE Baaaaaaaaaa. I’ve been looking for it ever since and have my camera ready.
10 March 2008, on 4:29 pm
And I saw a license plate surround that says
“I see SHEEPLE Baaaaaaaaaa. I’ve been looking for it ever since and have my camera ready.
Jimmer, I want one of those! If you find one for sale let me know where.
10 March 2008, on 4:30 pm
ikester7579?! HAH! I’ve run across that clown before. He’s a riot.
10 March 2008, on 4:58 pm
In reply to this one:
“I have never claimed God was proveable. But neither is evolution. If it is, grab yourself a monkey and evolve me a man.” - Rom831
I’d have to have told him, “okay, but you’re going to have to hold reeeeaaaaal still while I work on you…”
10 March 2008, on 5:11 pm
Will do. I’m trolling the coffee shop lot on a morning basis. LOL. Gotta go I’m timing out.
Oh and did you see the Muslims are beating themselves up in honor of some dead guy. We should get them to the Phillipines and see who can outdo who.
10 March 2008, on 6:38 pm
Gotta go I’m timing out.
Jimmer, when are you ever going to be back online at home?
Oh and did you see the Muslims are beating themselves up in honor of some dead guy.
Oh, yes…it’s that wonderful loving time of year again…self-flagellation season. And self-crucifixion. Lovely.
10 March 2008, on 11:58 pm
“For those that think the Bible has “fiction” in it….what part(s)? ”
–Dan
Well, gee, Dan, let’s see. I think the part beginning with the lines, “In the beginning….” and the part ending with “The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen,” as well as everything in-between.
You take that book called Genesis. It says “God” created everything in six days and he rested on the 7th. Whew! If I’d done all that creatin’ I’d want to rest one day, too. But, you know Dan, science tells us that the earth is over four BILLION years old, so how could “God” have “created” it in less than a week?
I know, I know, you guys think that the Bubble is the “Living Word of God” and literally true, line by line and verse by verse and so forth. But you also believe that man walked with dinosaurs and that our species is no more than 6,000 years old. That’s kind of odd since traces of man date back to 2.5 million years ago, and dinosaurs date back to 240 million years ago.
Is it possible “God” was wrong?
Now, you take your pork chops. Jews don’t eat pork chops cause *their* “God” says they can’t. But I betcha you “God”-fearin’ evangelical types eat poke chops all the time! I bet you like ‘em barbequed, baked, broiled, pan friend, any ol’ way you can git ‘em. Which “God” is right, yours or the Jews’?
George Carlin wonders why wimmin can’t put any kind of covering on their heads in synagogues but in cathedrals they sin by not covering their heads. He wonders why, if “God” is so unsure which way is the right way, should anyone put any faith in anything the old boy says in the first place?
Now, in one part of that Bubble, it says getting tattoos is a no-no. And it says men can’t “lie with their own kind.” So a tattooed homo must be the sinninest sumbitch on the face of the earth. But it must be OK to fuck your daughter, cause that’s what Lot did after the angels destroyed Sodom and turned Lot’s wife into a pillar of salt.
Seems to me the Bubble is a bundle o’ contradictions. I don’t know how you can put any faith in a book like that. Science tells us it’s a crock of shit. But if you want to believe in it, go right ahead. Just don’t think I’m going to hell for “blaspheming.” I can’t possibly go to hell. I don’t believe in it.
11 March 2008, on 12:49 pm
Waa haa…These must be taken from the Landrover Baptist Church website. Man, oh, man!
These folks are their own worst enemies! LMAO!!!
11 March 2008, on 2:18 pm
William Jennings Bryan clone? Naw, he’d be run out of town on a rail as a “commie” in today’s political climate. (his simpleton Christianity from the Scopes trial aside, WJB wasn’t that bad of a guy, as American politicos go–actually something of a populist)
“True Christians should only read English.”
If you want to get technical, True Christians should only read Greek and Hebrew–f*cktard.
12 March 2008, on 8:40 am
Well seems that Karen and I are victorious in getting Ed at Christian Cross Talk to turn on his comment moderation. LOL! Guess we were hitting too many nerves and harping on questions he avoided answering. Any suspicions about him not being a “true Xian” are now erased. He is definitely a crazy fundie doofus and deserves our asshat of the year award. His post on proving the existence of god with a cheese riddleis hilarious (gawd talked to him and Ed thought up the riddle in about 20 minutes). Several of us GifSters were having a good time with that one till he turned on his moderation option. Oh well, bye Ed…it was a blast while it lasted. LOL!
12 March 2008, on 3:40 pm
We’re not all that bad! I’m a practising christian, and a forensic scientist. I agree - that stuff is stupid.
The problem is, most Christian doctrine is based on dogmatic teaching - this *is* true, and therefore if it is proved otherwise, it follows that everything else is untrue too.
One Christian writer even said that if we agree with evolution, we disagree with the resurrection.
Now, that’s daft. I believe the bible to the be the true, awesome revealed word of God. I also understand the limitations of it. There’s no way that Genesis (which was most likely dictated to Moses on Mount Sinai, along with the other books of the pentateuch) could possibly be a scientific text book. Even if God had told Moses *exactly* what happened (we’re not even sure rememeber), he wouldn’t've understood it - he was a Bronze Age shepherd for goodness sake!
As for evolution - the very nature of scientific exploration is that every theory is falsifiable. Even evolution. Even gravity (which doesn’t fit at quantum levels the same as it does at galaxy or universe levels - let’s be honest; 96% of the mass if the universe is invisible, and *we don’t know where or what the invisible stuff is*!).
i don’t agree with Geocajun or Defender of Christianity btw.
unfortunately, these people do not want to ask questions of God. they see that as sinful, which is ridiculous. psalms is full of questions. i question God all the time.
please don’t judge all Christians on the basis of these radical few. I don’t judge all atheists on the basis of websites like gods4suckers.net (which you have to admit is a *little* harsh).
anyway. i just felt i should stand up for us rational normal questioning Christians who not only have to make up for these radical nutjobs, but will also have to share Eternity with them
take is easy, and God bless
Steve316
12 March 2008, on 4:07 pm
i just felt i should stand up for us rational normal questioning Christians who not only have to make up for these radical nutjobs,
Steve316, most of us here at GifS were at one time “rational normal questioning Christians” who finally realized that no longer needed Christianity to explain things we do not know or understand.
The post is not making fun of all Christians (I never said that, did I?), but mocks fundamentalists who reject education and science in lieu of ignorance and just plain stupidity.
but will also have to share Eternity with them
That sounds a lot like Hell to me, Steve!
I think of Jerry Falwell and all those self-righteous bigoted folks kissing the butt of their god 24/7 and it doesn’t sound like a place I would want to be! Eternal slaves to a great jealous Skyboss who rewards asshats and purposely stupid people, but condemns great thinkers and those who have done great things for humanity just because they don’t stroke his ego. Hell sounds a whole lot more interesting.:twisted: (Of course, though…both places are merely mythical.)
I believe the bible to the be the true, awesome revealed word of God. I also understand the limitations of it.
You are almost quotable yourself. LOL. Either you believe it is true, or not true. You can’t really have it both ways unless you are just inventing the version of Christianity you like best for yourself. When you “talk to god” you are actually talking to yourself. God exists only in your mind.
12 March 2008, on 9:06 pm
Steve;
Welcome. Nice to have a Christian that doesn’t condemn us to hell, then take some bible quote, often out of the context in which it was written to “prove” this.
Steve said “Now, that’s daft. I believe the bible to the be the true, awesome revealed word of God. I also understand the limitations of it.”
I have to agree with Stardust, that’s a pretty obtuse comment, especially coming from a clearly educated scientist. Perhaps you want to rethink that one.
Steve said: “There’s no way that Genesis (which was most likely dictated to Moses on Mount Sinai, along with the other books of the pentateuch) could possibly be a scientific text book.”
There’s very little evidence that there was a “Moses.” Biblical scholars believe that Genesis 1 and Genesis 2 were written by two different authors (2 likely written before 1, and not even in the same generation.) It’s believed Exodus had at least 4 different authors.
Steve said: “Even if God had told Moses *exactly* what happened (we’re not even sure remember), he wouldn’t’ve understood it - he was a Bronze Age shepherd for goodness sake!”
Bet God wishes He had tried anyway. Would have saved a lot of confusion later on. You’d think an omniscient Deity would have foreseen this.
“please don’t judge all Christians on the basis of these radical few. I don’t judge all atheists on the basis of websites like gods4suckers.net (which you have to admit is a *little* harsh).”
We don’t. But I often wonder why “moderate” and “liberal” xtians feel they need religion in their lives when, by their own admissions, they would likely be as happy and moral w/out a God belief.
As for the harshness; this site demonstrates all the respect religion (particularly in it’s more orthodox forms) is due.
Steven said: “i question God all the time.”
Good; keep doing so. We’ll see you back here when you are an atheist too.
12 March 2008, on 9:32 pm
As for the harshness; this site demonstrates all the respect religion (particularly in it’s more orthodox forms) is due.
Thanks Fritzy, I missed that one.
Yes, Steve, Fritzy is right. This site is only a response to the “harshness” of religion that we have quietly stood by observing and keeping our mouths shut for centuries. Well, things are changing and we are coming out of the closet in droves. We are no longer going to remain silent. Steve, why don’t you stop and contemplate the “harshness” of Abrahamic religions and their horror stories that are found in your religious texts? Your whole religion is based on the most gruesome story ever told and the zombie half-man, half-god that is ever-so-common in ancient mythologies.
Please re-evaluate what you believe, Steve, as most atheists have, and you might just “see the light” of reason.
13 March 2008, on 8:22 pm
thanks for your comments and kind words Stardust and Fritzy; i think i should respond (although more for my own piece of mind than to try and persuade anyone)
i used to be an atheist - in fact, i used to argue with a Christian friend at length about God, until God healed me of suicidal depression and i was kinda forced to admit He exists. Please don’t make a comment about free will - He healed me and gave me a chance to accept or reject Him. i guess i was interested to learn more.
as for the limitations of the bible, i feel i should expand a little. take the passage, ‘love thy neighbour.’ this seems a simple thing to command. but who is my neighbour? what is love? how do i practically do this? those are the limitations - the bible has to been actively engaged. if that holds true for this passage, it logically follows that it holds true for others as well. therefore, the bible has to be studied to be understood. whilst you can take it at face value, it has to be read in the context of a relationship with God. you read something like ‘love thy neighbour’ and then ask God the questions that arise.
too many fundamentalists don’t bother with that. they dont engage with the bible, and miss the key points. God is, for them, not someone to be questioned.
as for the stuff about moses and the authorship of the bible - so what? does this prove that God doesn’t exist? no. it casts some doubt on a figure who may or may not have existed in history, and proves that ancient hebrew culture had a different approach to copyright law. or we may have it wrong, and the bible may be right.
as for why i feel the need for God? because life is empty otherwise. life has no intrinsic meaning. eat fuck and sleep, then you die. it doesn’t make sense for something as wondrous and mysterious as consciousness to be a mere product of random genetic mutations.
morality is based in truth, and that truth is based in God. without God, Man must judge himself, and therefore is unaccountable to anyone else. how can we decide what is right and good if we don’t have a yardstick to measure ourselves by?
as for happiness - i start every day knowing that in every situation God is already there looking out for me. if it get it wrong, no worries; i just try again tomorrow. because Jesus, as a ‘zombie half-man half-god,’ has already been there, God understands what i’m facing (btw, Jesus is all-man and all-God, not half and half. He said ‘I AM’ after all. and His resurrection wasn’t a living dead; it was a new life, completely different from the old)
it sounds like a cop out, but we all aim to please - whether it’s a parent, friend, colleague, boss or deity. i guess thats why i keep living - to please God. and remember, God doesn’t need us. He doesn’t need His ego stroked - He’s well aware of who He is!
Sorry this is a long thread - i felt the need to respond. also, sorry if it makes no sense, it’s just gone midnight here, and i’m tired!
Steve
13 March 2008, on 9:17 pm
thanks for your comments and kind words Stardust and Fritzy; i think i should respond (although more for my own piece of mind than to try and persuade anyone)
You would persuade no one here, anyway. Most of us are ex-Christians and we are quite happy where we are.
i used to be an atheist - in fact, i used to argue with a Christian friend at length about God, until God healed me of suicidal depression
I wish you could see that you actually healed yourself and give yourself the credit for being a stronger person than you realize.
and i was kinda forced to admit He exists. Please don’t make a comment about free will - He healed me and gave me a chance to accept or reject Him. i guess i was interested to learn more.
I will comment about free will. You found a belief to float your boat. If this is what keeps you going, then who am I to take that away from you? But here at this site, I will state that it is unnecessary. We have to love ourselves, and learn that we are not perfect and life is difficult at times, but things get better. I have told my kids that life is like a roller coaster ride, ups and downs. When you get into the down dips, keep in mind that you will soon be going up again.
the bible has to be studied to be understood. whilst you can take it at face value, it has to be read in the context of a relationship with God. you read something like ‘love thy neighbour’ and then ask God the questions that arise.
Basically, everyone takes what they want from the Bible, disregard what you don’t like and interpret it to suit yourself. The Bible can be used to justify anything and any viewpoint. That’s why it’s such an interesting book. Something in it for everyone.
too many fundamentalists don’t bother with that. they dont engage with the bible, and miss the key points. God is, for them, not someone to be questioned.
I think you are wrong here. They cherry-pick parts of the Bible they want to use,just like you do.
as for the stuff about moses and the authorship of the bible - so what? does this prove that God doesn’t exist? no.
Does it prove god does exist? No.
it casts some doubt on a figure who may or may not have existed in history, and proves that ancient hebrew culture had a different approach to copyright law. or we may have it wrong, and the bible may be right.
Then how do you know you don’t have it all wrong? The Bible is so contradictory and inconsistent I don’t know why anyone bothers to take it for anything more than ancient literature.
as for why i feel the need for God? because life is empty otherwise.
Wow, and people say the atheists have a bad outlook on life? I see wonder in every aspect of the world and universe. I feel very fortunate to have lived at all, no matter how much time I have to live. I have friends, family, and even if I didn’t have them I would have myself, other people, flowers, stars in the skies, animals, television…all sorts of things. Books to read, music to listen to. It’s all so wonderful I wish I had ten thousand lifetimes to enjoy it.
life has no intrinsic meaning. eat fuck and sleep, then you die. it doesn’t make sense for something as wondrous and mysterious as consciousness to be a mere product of random genetic mutations.
That is such a sad, sad attitude. We can’t sit around waiting for something to give our life meaning. As Joseph Campbell says ““Life is without meaning. You bring the meaning to it. The meaning of life is Whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning.”
morality is based in truth, and that truth is based in God.
No, morality is based on the society rules in which one lives in order to get along peacefully with other members of that society. That does not require a god.
without God, Man must judge himself, and therefore is unaccountable to anyone else.
We are accountable to the laws of the land, our fellow citizens and to ourselves.
how can we decide what is right and good if we don’t have a yardstick to measure ourselves by?
We don’t need a god to determine that.
as for happiness - i start every day knowing that in every situation God is already there looking out for me.
If that brings you comfort, that is your business. It is not what we here need at all. But god belief or not, I wish you would believe in yourself more.
if it get it wrong, no worries; i just try again tomorrow.
We don’t need god beliefs for that. That is what we all do every day. Get up and do it again, Amen…as the song goes.
because Jesus, as a ‘zombie half-man half-god,’ has already been there,
Every human has been there, Steve. Jesus was not special in that regard. We all pull ourselves along every day.
God understands what i’m facing
Do you have any friends or relatives to turn to? Or are you all alone? Just wondering.
(btw, Jesus is all-man and all-God, not half and half. He said ‘I AM’ after all. and His resurrection wasn’t a living dead; it was a new life, completely different from the old)
Now read that back slowly and understand how absurd that sounds. Why would you believe this is any more real than all the other ancient god myths that are equally as bizarre? All god, and all man. Do you really understand that? Do you really accept that? People wish to live forever, and that is why they get sad, Because they cannot. SO they create religions for themselves and delusions of an afterlife so they can imagine themselves defeating death. Afterlife belief is a coping device to deal with our own mortality.
it sounds like a cop out, but we all aim to please - whether it’s a parent, friend, colleague, boss or deity. i guess thats why i keep living - to please God.
You need to keep living because you should want to please yourself. To enjoy the one life you have here. If there was a god, it would please him that you would love yourself and life itself.
and remember, God doesn’t need us. He doesn’t need His ego stroked - He’s well aware of who He is!
Then why create little pets and demand they worship him or he will damn us to Hell for all eternity for not stroking his ego? It says right in the beginning of the Bible that god made humans because he was lonely. He wanted obedient pets. They wouldn’t obey, and he got pissed because they wouldn’t sit in awe obediently like little lap dogs. Yes, most gods of mythology have huge egos.
Sorry this is a long thread - i felt the need to respond.
No need to apologize, but we have heard all this before from other Christians who feel compelled to come “witness” their story to us.
also, sorry if it makes no sense, it’s just gone midnight here, and i’m tired!
The god belief parts make no sense to us. But we understand. We were once Christians and many know exactly what you are talking about. You need something in your life. God beliefs help you in some way. If that floats your boat, that is your right. Thanks for not telling us we need it too.
Hope you get some sleep.
13 March 2008, on 10:58 pm
Hey Steve316,
Ex-suicidal myself here; congrats on pulling out of the abyss!
I think Stardust did a bang-up job of answering your comments, but I just wanted to follow up on this one a bit.
Well, most Christians put an awful lot of stock in the Bible being the “divinely inspired word of God”, so I would think it would matter a lot if the authorship was correct, if the presumed author(s) actually existed, and if the information was consistent and non-contradictive. Don’t you think if this god was omni-everything, he would have made sure the information he was revealing would be correctly recorded. I mean, hell, even if Moses or any other conduit of the holy words couldn’t understand what was being offered, the almighty one could have granted temporary power to at least write shit down so that the almighty didn’t sound like a schizophrenic off his meds.
And why couldn’t he have just delivered a full copy of everything himself? He did it with the ten commandments. Why not drop a wad of papyrus rolls from the heavens with everything neatly laid out, all in the same voice? Piece o’ cake.
As it stands, it sounds like some desert dwelling nomads just made up some stories-what they didn’t steal, that is- and wrote it down to make themselves feel self-important. Nothing divinely inspired. Drug induced, maybe, but still, nothing extraordinary.
20 March 2008, on 1:23 pm
hey did you guys see Zeitgeist the movie? How funny that christians have been worshiping the Sun without knowing it for all these years!
20 March 2008, on 1:31 pm
Well, most Christians put an awful lot of stock in the Bible being the “divinely inspired word of God”, so I would think it would matter a lot if the authorship was correct, if the presumed author(s) actually existed, and if the information was consistent and non-contradictive. Don’t you think if this god was omni-everything, he would have made sure the information he was revealing would be correctly recorded. I mean, hell, even if Moses or any other conduit of the holy words couldn’t understand what was being offered, the almighty one could have granted temporary power to at least write shit down so that the almighty didn’t sound like a schizophrenic off his meds.
And why couldn’t he have just delivered a full copy of everything himself? He did it with the ten commandments. Why not drop a wad of papyrus rolls from the heavens with everything neatly laid out, all in the same voice? Piece o’ cake.
As it stands, it sounds like some desert dwelling nomads just made up some stories-what they didn’t steal, that is- and wrote it down to make themselves feel self-important. Nothing divinely inspired. Drug induced, maybe, but still, nothing extraordinary.
Moses and the golden Calf story is a pagan story about the Zodiac. The calf is Taurus the bull, Which is killed off as we move into the age of pieces. The Bible speaks of Ages, which really are the zodiac or long years. The next age is Aquarius in 2050. Did you ever see the fish symbol? It too is a pagan symbol for pieces the age we are in now. That is why fish and jesus are referenced in the bible together. Jesus is in fact the Sun of god who is in the heavens with his 12 diciples or signs of the Zodiac
20 March 2008, on 1:37 pm
it is very sad for those who take Authority as the Truth rather than Truth as the Authority
Zeitgeist-the movie
google this and watch this on the internet
-it will blow your mind
Christians don’t bother, you don’t have the free thinking ability to understand it and the big scientific words will confuse you!!!
20 March 2008, on 3:26 pm
The idea of a Son of God is amongst the oldest cults of the patriarchal god worshippers. The sun is the son of heaven in all primitive faiths. The firmament is personified as the Father on High and the sun becomes the Son of God. Then, because no wrongdoing is missed by the sun in its travels around the heavens, it becomes the Son of Righteousness. The sun in its annual course around the zodiac and its regular daily periodicity typified the ever present, everlasting, ever faithful qualities that reassured people.
For Christian clergy who are always scared that one of these days their flocks will catch on and be outraged at the confidence trick they have been subject to, the Jesus of the New Testament bears an uncomfortable resemblance to other mythical figures like Bacchus, the Phoenician Ies, the Hindu Krishna, the Persian Mithras, the Egyptian Horus and other sun gods.
Many of the patriarchs, prophets, priests and kings of the Bible are sun gods allegoricized as men by ancient poets. They can be recognized because there is negligible historical evidence for them. Many scholars agree that the patriarchs of the Bible and even Saul, David, Solomon and Samson are ancient gods whose myths have been ludicrously accepted as history even by the most scholarly of men.
The ancients saw in the sun’s annual course round the heavens an image of human experience—conception in June, birth into the world of fleshly life in the autumn, spiritual awakening or rebirth at Christmas, and glorious resurrection from the dead body of this life at Easter. In the dramas of the mystery religions the central character was the initiate in the role of the sun god.
Christians have confounded pre-Christian Persian and Hellenistic cosmic principles with Jesus, a historical human being, a national hero of the Jewish nation fighting repression. The Jesus of the gospels, whether he was a historical person or not, was given the characteristics of a solar god.
When the sun rose in the constellation of Virgo, the sun was born of a Virgin. Light imagery is wisespread in descriptions of Jesus. He is the “Light of the World” (Jn 8:12) but the only proper Light of the World is the sun. He cometh on clouds, and every eye shall see him (Rev 1:7), a description of the sun. The sun, in the form of its reflexion as it rises and sets, walks on water. Jesus is the saviour of mankind, but truly the proper saviour of mankind and all life on earth is the sun—without it we should be unable to survive.
The sun’s corona is traditionally depicted by a halo, a sunburst or a crown of thorns, and indeed the halo can be taken as an indication of a sun god in pre-Christian art. Sun gods such as Horus, Buddha and Krishna are shown with haloes before it became a Christian convention. Often Jesus is depicted surrounded by a sunburst of rays. The horns of the older deities and the rays of light radiating from the heads of Hindu and Pagan gods show that gods were often given the attributes of the sun. The halo, that originally indicated a solar god, was transferred to other divine people in Christian art. The halo became the symbol of a god and then a holy person because it is a characteristic of the holy sun.
The sun has 12 aspects being the 12 signs of the zodiac or constellations, through which it must pass in its yearly journey. It is born in the sign of the goat, the Augean stable of the Greeks, then has an adventure as it enters each different sign during the course of a year. Finally it dies and is reborn or resurrected after three days on the twenty-fifth of December in the same sign of the celestial goat. From ancient times the year was partitioned into the 12 segments based on the constellation that the sun was in at the time, and from this the sun itself was given the aspects of the imagined signs in the heavens or friends or foes were given these imagined characteristics.
The magic number 12 is usually derived from this source and so it is with the twelve Labours of Hercules and the tribes of Israel. The rationalisation of the number twelve of the apostles is that they were to rule over the twelve tribes, but the origin of the twelve is then still solar. In fact, there were not twelve tribes and the number is only chosen to meet the requirements of a sun god.
People in agrarian societies appreciated the importance of the sun in agriculture. Farmers noted that the sun descended in altitude in the sky as it moved southwards until 21 or 22 December, the winter solstice, when it stoped declining for three days and thereafter started to ascend and move north again. The sun seemed to die for three days on 22 December when it ceased its heavenly motion and was born again on December 25th, when it resumes its heavenly motion. The punter worried that the sun might really die and not begin its annual ascent again, just as primitive peoples worried that the night might not end when the sun had set.
Ancients astronomer–priests knew of the annual cycles of the sun and told the punters that they could influence it in its journeys—if they were rewarded for their skills. Priests always were frauds—modern ones are no different in claiming they can help people get eternal life—and pretended they had rituals to revive the sun each winter. Each year on 25 December, when it was born again, people celebrated its birthday. Sons of god usually are born on December 25th. Jesus has no known birthdate but he was given the birthdate of the Unconquerable Sun because he was perceived by the Romans and the Greeks as a sun god.
The sun is hung on a cross or crucified when it passes through the equinoxes. At the vernal equinox at Easter, it is resurrected, rising above the celestial equator. Jesus’ death was accompanied by the darkening of the sun. The date of his resurrection is the position of the sun at the time of the vernal equinox when the priests could declare that the rebirth was complete—the day was now longer than the night. March 25th was considered the end of the sun’s passing through the vernal equinox, when the sun was resurrected.
Early Christians repudiated the cross because it was Pagan. The first images of Jesus show him as an androgynous youth, the Good Shepherd, carrying a lamb. The original occupant of the cross was this lamb. A man was not shown hanging on a cross until the 7th century AD.
That Christians worship on Sunday shows the origins of their god—Jesus is actually the sun, the Light of the world that every eye can see. The sun has been viewed consistently throughout history as the saviour of mankind for reasons that are obvious. Without the sun, life on the planet would die.
The ancients had no only-begotten son of the Christian type because the term they used was in Greek monogenes, and in Latin unigenitus, and did not mean only-begotten, but that which was begotten of one parent, the father, alone. The ancients meant by the term to designate the projection into matter by God of the force of life, not the sole and unique product of the union of spirit and matter, or a male god and a female human.
13 April 2008, on 7:07 am
Christians changed the Bible according to their wishes. Christians follow the easy path. They do not practice what they preach. In other words, Christianiy is a wonderful work of fiction, rivalling The Lord of the Rings
17 April 2008, on 12:30 pm
if god is real then why is there war
if god is real then why is there suffering
and finily all these people who beleave in god and adam and eve every one in this world is related but insest is against gods law and gods law is written by man what happened to the bible for the thousands of years before jesus who believes