Nearer, my Gawd to Thee
22 April 2008 by Stardust
Brazil priest carried aloft by balloons missing
SAO PAULO, Brazil – A Roman Catholic priest who floated off under hundreds of helium party balloons was missing Monday off the southern coast of Brazil.
Rescuers in helicopters and small fishing boats were searching off the coast of Santa Catarina state, where pieces of balloons were found.
Rev. Adelir Antonio de Carli lifted off from the port city of Paranagua on Sunday afternoon, wearing a helmet, thermal suit and a parachute.
He was reported missing about eight hours later after losing contact with port authority officials, according to the treasurer of his Sao Cristovao parish, Denise Gallas.
Gallas said by telephone that the priest wanted to break a 19-hour record for the most hours flying with balloons to raise money for a spiritual rest-stop for truckers in Paranagua, Brazil’s second-largest port for agricultural products.
Some American adventurers have used helium balloons to emulate Larry Walters — who in 1982 rose three miles above Los Angeles in a lawn chair lifted by balloons.
A video of Carli posted on the G1 Web site of Globo TV showed the smiling 41-year-old priest slipping into a flight suit, being strapped to a seat attached to a huge column green, red, white and yellow balloons, and soaring into the air to the cheers of a crowd.
I know ya’ll have fun with this one. 
22 April 2008, on 1:08 am
I guess gawd didn’t want that spiritual truckstop…LOL
22 April 2008, on 1:14 am
Maybe he got raptured!
22 April 2008, on 1:22 am
tommy, I can just imagine a flock of birds all pecking at the balloons while the priest yells “Meu deus! Meu deus!” and not getting an answer as he plunges to the earth below.
22 April 2008, on 4:20 am
Perhaps god was mad because the priest didn’t put his complete faith in Him!
And ye, the clouds openeneth up and God Spoketh: Why Haveth You A GPS And Satellite Phone!
I Cast Thee Over The Sea For Your Lack Of Faith!
22 April 2008, on 7:31 am
He had a frigging parachute–he’s a damned apostate.
22 April 2008, on 8:39 am
I think he’s been spotted
22 April 2008, on 9:19 am
Tommykey,
My husband found the article about the flying priest yesterday and that’s what we decided must have happened to him. XD
We laughed for twenty minutes about this one.
Godbotherers do the darndest things.
22 April 2008, on 9:32 am
Well… at least that’s one that parents won’t have to worry about anymore.
22 April 2008, on 9:50 am
Nearer, my gawd, to thee.
22 April 2008, on 10:50 am
Nearer, my gawd, to thee.
That would have been a better title for this post so I used it…thanks Shane! ROTFLMAO
22 April 2008, on 10:51 am
Yeah, let’s tell them he got raptured, maybe we can get more of them to do it…Gawd helps those who help themselves, after all…
Maybe someone can talk Pat Robertson into a one way ride on a high altitude weather balloon.
Let them fly themselves unprotected on rockets up through the Van Allen radiation belts…sounds good to me.
22 April 2008, on 10:58 am
I can’t help it. I crack up every time I look at the picture. Some people are idiots.
22 April 2008, on 11:02 am
Jess Wundrun
That picture is hilarious!
I nominate this priest for a Darwin Award. PZMyers posted about this and some commenters have taken him to task about not having compassion. I think de Carli deserves as much compassion as say, someone who tried to jump the Grand Canyon on a motorcycle and fell short of the other side.
22 April 2008, on 11:29 am
Karen, you are right. If the priest had a cancer, we would not be poking fun at a sick man, if he had a terrible accident, we would show compassion and would not feature it to make fun of him. But when idiots of any walk of life do idiotic things, then yes…this dude will be made fun of by everyone…bloggers, late-night tv hosts, etc.
22 April 2008, on 11:32 am
One thing that I don’t understand is why god believers have to go to such great lengths to earn money for things. Why don’t they simply ASK people for the money without the stunts or events etc??? And they don’t even stop to consider WHY no help for anything comes from their god without MONEY. If their god was all that they believe, they wouldn’t need to go through such extraordinary efforts to try to raise money for their causes.
22 April 2008, on 11:34 am
I laughed so hard reading these comments. I, too, saw this on Fox News and couldn’t resist thinking what a stupid fuckin’ thing to do.
But that rapture comment took the cake. I’m still chuckling over it. And the idea to try to convince other god-botherers to follow suit, just had me on the floor. If they can believe in their war-mongering god, they can believe anything.
Thank you for the much needed laugh.
22 April 2008, on 11:36 am
I only hope that the good father is shot down as a UFO – Unidentified Fornicating Object.
22 April 2008, on 11:38 am
Unidentified Fornicating Object
22 April 2008, on 11:48 am
Oh, this just sparked an argument between my husband and I. He thinks it’s not that funny. He said that people do these things all the time for publicity and money. Look, he said, George Bush Senior just jumped out of a plane on his 82nd birthday, What’s the difference? If someone did this to raise money for Diabetes or Cancer, would you be laughing?
First of all, jumping out of a plane is something that is regulated with all necessary safety devices. I’m sure they use GPS and other technology to ensure safety. This person chose a method and means of flying that was just sheer stupid.
Secondly, ANYONE, in my opinion who would do something like this, deserves to be laughed at.
Thirdly, His motive for doing this makes it even MORE laughable because he was using this stunt to earn money which would be used to try to make others join his religion. Well, shit, his god must NOT have wanted that to happen. Gods perfect will and all that nonsense.
22 April 2008, on 12:38 pm
George Bush Senior just jumped out of a plane on his 82nd birthday, What’s the difference?
There is a huge difference between floating in a lawn chair that is attached to a bunch of latex helium balloons. Like you say, sky-diving is regulated, equipment approved and Daddy Bush is TRAINED. He didn’t leap from a plane with a bunch of helium balloons attached to him while sitting on a piece of lawn furniture. Even a regular hot-air balloon would have been safer and people probably would have felt a little bad. But his method was INSANE.
Stupidity deserves to be laughed at.
22 April 2008, on 1:16 pm
Stardust:
I wish Bush, both Jr. and the old man could be talked into the Lawnchair Stratospheric Delivery system.
I think JJR may be onto something. CM Kornbluth’s, “The Marching Morons” could be adapted to a Skyboss 2nd coming tale, “The Rapturing Retards”; Sample dialogue:
Scene 1 (and only): Grand Canyon, North Rim, El Tovar Lodge.
“Awright, awright! All you christian children of Gauze, line up over here. Yeah, that’s right, rigth there. Now, take off all your clothes and pile them over here. Jewelry, cash and powers of attorney t the right of that pile. Okay, then, everybody all set? Allrightee, then. Run off the edge and count to fifty. I’ll be right behind you.”
22 April 2008, on 1:46 pm
I wish Bush, both Jr. and the old man could be talked into the Lawnchair Stratospheric Delivery system.
OMG I almost peed myself! LOL!
22 April 2008, on 2:53 pm
demo:
You can’t have the kiddies take off their clothes. It would be too tempting for the priests.
22 April 2008, on 4:44 pm
Bush Sr. jumped out of a plane? Dare I hope he has a bucket list cuz he’s gonna kick it soon? How can we get him to take W up, up and away? Maybe if we got W some mylar balloons, he’d go for it; I’ll bet he likes shiny things.
22 April 2008, on 7:14 pm
I wonder if his spiritual truckstop will have commercial beaver plying their trade in the coffeshop?
“Was the dark of the moon on the sixth of june
In a kenworth haulin’ fish
Cab-over pete with a reefer on
And a chrome foot-bathin’ dish
We was truckin’ for god down to Manaus town
with our sticks lodged up our butts
I said, ‘Puerco, this here’s the Caucho Duck.
And we’re the Brazilianest of Jesus nuts.
By the time we got into Rio town,
We’d been abstinent for years
Well, except for the nekkid, Spartan Wrasslin’,
And the dressin’ like Britney Spears.
Now, them diesel Macks was suckin’ fuel
at a prodigious, manly rate
I says, ‘Callin’ all trucks, this here’s the Duck.
We need to exit this interstate.’
Well, we seen the sign, like a Eastern Star
Glowin’ gold above the trees
It said, ‘Padre Carli’s House of
Bow-ed Heads and Bended Knees.’
The old “Fuel and Mewl” in the nick of time
for these kerosene-starved trucks
and a flock of proper Christian gals’ll
hold your hand for twenty bucks
Ah, there’s free refills of holy water coffee
and unleavened Wonder Bread
There’s a hellfire sermon with every meal
And a million bibles read.
Well, now our tanks is topped and the held hands shook,
it’s high time we said good bye
With a solemn prayer to Almighty God
to send the priest back from the sky
10-4
[chorus]
cause we got a spiritual convoy
Rockin through the night.
Yeah, we got a spiritual convoy,
Aint she a beautiful sight?
Come on and join our convoy
Aint nothin gonna get in our way.
We gonna roll this spiritual convoy
cross b-r-a-s-i-l-i-a.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKfLpkBFjx0
22 April 2008, on 7:25 pm
Great. Thanks. Now all I can think of is this. How am I going to get any work done now?
That really was the best episode of Mythbusters. Ever. Adam and Jamie would never have this sort of problem. (This sort of problem gets edited out in post.)
22 April 2008, on 7:49 pm
Hmmm…I can’t help thinking how (necessarily) strange the logistics are of relieving oneself whilst flying long distance on a lawn chair.
Should he be shouting something like…
“Look out below!”
Or, perhaps like some fucking, stupid ‘angel’?…
“Piss on Earth…
Good luck toward Men…
Oh, alright…and Women…and children…
say what?…OK…
AND fucking altar boys!”
UFO..
Unidentified (Unbelievable?) FARTING object?
22 April 2008, on 8:09 pm
Yes, “Nearer My God to Thee” but this stunt calls for Jeffrey Osborne. Sorry…
On the wings of love
Up and above the clouds
The only way to fly
Is on the wings of love
On the wings of love
Only the two of us
Together flying high
Flying high
Upon the wings of love
You look at me and I begin to melt
Just like the snow when a ray of sun is felt
I’m crazy bout ya baby can’t you see
I’d be delighted if you could come with me
On the wings of love
Up and above the clouds
The only way to fly
Is on the wings of love
On the wings of love
Only the two of us
Together flying high
Flying high
Upon the wings of love
22 April 2008, on 9:09 pm
Another lawn chair idiot
23 April 2008, on 12:04 am
That looks like something you’d like to try at least once, providing you had lines keeping the chair from floating off and a way down that didn’t involve systematically popping balloons.
But without those precautions, I think I’d rather take a tank shell to the balls.
23 April 2008, on 1:53 am
I’m curious why he wore a parachute? Surely gawd’s angels would come a flappin’ to his aid?
This reminds me of that episode of Malcolm in the Middle, when the oldest kid took off on a lawnchair buoyed by balloons. & comes crashing into the church window just as his folks are parting ways w/the church they joined (for the perks).
23 April 2008, on 1:55 am
I’ve been following the thread about this at Pharyngula.
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2008/04/it_must_have_been_an_act_of_go.php#comments
I left my $.02 at comment #214.
It was interesting though-there were a lot more concern troll comments and complaints of bad taste than usual. Every few comments along would be somebody saying P.Z. had gone too far in his post. Many were complaining about his
general fantasy idea- that it would be great to spread this kind of behavior to all clergy.
But there were just as many who objected to finding humor in this situation at all.
A priest gives a sermon, and then full o’ faith and out to raise a buck, he straps himself into a balloon chair without even the right tools and knowledge to help insure survival. And then he just floats away on the breeze while his followers are following only the shrinking speck in the sky.
I’ve never been inspired by political correctness. I just don’t get it. I understand being considerate toward the worried or grieving, but there were
a few people asking why people found this so funny at all. “I know you’re an atheist, but gee…” as if finding humor in this event is an atheists-and-war-criminals-only perspective.
If the guy dies, I think it would be lovely to send up an effigy each year on the anniversary of his ascent into the heavens.
Encouragement for the local clergy.
So all that said…I wonder how he’s doing…
23 April 2008, on 2:26 am
“brazilianest of jesus nuts” LOL!!!!!!!
23 April 2008, on 10:08 am
Every few comments along would be somebody saying P.Z. had gone too far in his post.
If anyone had gone too far it’s the dumbass priest. Do these same people feel sympathy for the recipients of the annual Darwin Awards? Political correctness is going to far. Now if the priest has cancer, or had a terrible accident he could not have foreseen, then we would not be laughing at him. But this was pure stupidity and it’s very hard to feel sorry for such idiocy. And especially when they are doing it because Gawd needs money again.
23 April 2008, on 1:51 pm
Hey guys, remember this?
99 Luftballoons by Nena? A great theme song to go with this story! ha!
23 April 2008, on 10:12 pm
Here is the Reuters photo of priest Adelir Antonio de Carli as he floats off into oblivion. The latest report stated “He wasn’t prepared for an emergency at sea; he didn’t wear a life vest or anything of the sort.”
23 April 2008, on 11:38 pm
Like most priests, he was full of hot air.
24 April 2008, on 12:47 am
What a waste of rubber and helium.
24 April 2008, on 3:52 pm
This stuff just cracks me up. WTF? Is the dude thinking or failing to think? Mythbusters did a story on this as Todd #26 showed. I’m all for nominating Kari Byron of the Mythbuster team, Hottest scientist alive.
24 April 2008, on 4:22 pm
Does anyone know how they manage to get down if there isn’t a flock of birds or a plane engine to do it for them? I mean, how is it controlled to land? Do they pop them one by one with a pellet gun or what? I’d like to know.
24 April 2008, on 4:27 pm
Ok…found the answer to my own question here…
Thanks to the FSM for the internet.
24 April 2008, on 4:46 pm
“Brazilianest of jesus nuts” – har!
I agree that it’s too politically correct to disapprove of mockery in this case; the priest is/was a mentally competent adult (other than his god belief) who is fully and solely responsible for his decisions, actions, and their consequences.
He reminds me of the Korean (?) guy who jumped into the lion exhibit at a zoo because god would spare him but got chomped for his “faith,” and the African minister who walked into the ocean to prove that god would save him – only to drown right in front of his congregation. No, they weren’t fundraising, but I’ll bet he trusted to his god to return him safe and sound to ground, too.
25 April 2008, on 1:27 pm
He reminds me of the Korean (?) guy who jumped into the lion exhibit at a zoo because god would spare him but got chomped for his “faith,” and the African minister who walked into the ocean to prove that god would save him
It just boggles my mind that god botherers don’t remember or conveniently forget these idiotic happenings when faith does not save people. But they will believe that some guy who pours caustic acid on his hands is some kind of miracle. Humans are taking a long time to evolve.
25 April 2008, on 4:00 pm
^ “Humans are taking a long time to evolve.”
A rather melancholy phrase to begin the weekend with, but too true, Star!