Teen plots to kill Jesus
30 April 2008 by StardustHere is another example of how religion is dangerous when it goes from mild to full-blown whackadoo delusion.
Agent: S.C. teen accused in school plot wanted to kill Jesus
FLORENCE, S.C. - A teen accused of plotting to blow up his high school told police that he wanted to die, go to heaven and kill Jesus, federal authorities said Tuesday.
[Someone should tell him that the way to "kill Jeebus" is to stop believing in this bullshit]Prosecutors argued in a federal courtroom that the statements are an indication that 18-year-old Ryan Schallenberger needs a psychological evaluation. The straight-A Chesterfield High School senior was arrested April 19 and faces several state and federal charges, including attempting to use a weapon of mass destruction. That charge carries a possible life sentence if he is convicted.
“His conduct is bizarre,” prosecutor Buddy Bethea told Judge Thomas Rogers III, who did not immediately issue a ruling. “I think it screams out in his conduct that he be evaluated.”
[All people who have imaginary friends should be "evaluated" so it won't get to this point.]
And the mother really has her head up her ass . . .
Prosecutors also played a 911 tape of the teen’s mother calling police after he smashed his head into a wall two days before his arrest. On the tape, she says her son threatened to shoot police if they came.
“He’s not going to do it,” Laurie Sittler told the operator. “He’s just got a bad temper.”
Even though . . .
Schallenberger was arrested after his parents picked up at the post office a package addressed to the teen containing 20 pounds of ammonium nitrate. They got nervous and looked through his room where they found a cassette tape he wanted played after he died, which they took to the sheriff’s office, the agent testified. Authorities found his journal, which lauded the Columbine killers, after searching his room.
The 50-page journal contained notes on more than 10 types of explosives that Schallenberger experimented with and evaluated a year ago, the agent testified. It had a black cover and “Pisces” written on the front, and authorities have said it contained detailed plans to bomb Chesterfield High School.
And fucktard fundies will probably blame this on atheism somehow.
30 April 2008, on 11:04 am
“God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we ourselves not become gods simply to appear worthy of it?”
– Nietzsche, The Gay Science, Section 125, tr. Walter Kaufmann
I can see the “logical” follow up that will blame atheism for this. They will say he wasn’t a true Christian. They will say that he was turning to atheism but had not yet had the full loss of faith requiring him to actively seek to kill god rather than merely stop believing. A sort of psychopathic agnosticism, perhaps. Hell, I don’t know what sort of contortions they will go though but I agree, they will be blaming atheists in short order.
30 April 2008, on 12:11 pm
Ah, the feeling of The Stupid burning my eyes…
Reminds me of that Simpsons episode:
“What if I have my arm amputated? Will is still be waiting for me in Heaven when I die?”
“Bart, don’t be ridiculous. Yes.”
30 April 2008, on 12:16 pm
You can buy ammonium nitrate through the mail? Obviously this is secondary to the topic of Star’s post but I thought the US Postal Service prohibits sending dangerous goods by mail. I suppose if the sender doesn’t say anything the post office won’t know.
30 April 2008, on 3:17 pm
Well, obviously, giving up some of our rights so that Big Brother could tap our phones and monitor our computers to find home-grown terrorists is worth it. After all, the Men in Black did come swooping in and confiscate this kid’s ammonium nitrate, his plans and his notebook, his computer, and haul him off to Gitmo before he could do any damage.
No, wait. His parents turned him in. Oh.
30 April 2008, on 3:37 pm
Let the games begin.
30 April 2008, on 7:14 pm
I think this kid is a poor planner as well as a nutjob; what the hell did he plan to do once he killed Jesus? I mean, he’d still have God the Father and the Holy Spirit to deal with, and the latter’s already a ghost, so what do you do about him, conduct an exorcism in heaven? And the Lord himself’s a pretty tough customer, and he’d be pretty pissed by the time you knock off his son and spirit…
Then again, given that God’s a Trinity, maybe killing off Jesus is a good idea, since you’d be whacking three birds with one stone, so to speak–
But wait a minute: what about all those angels and saved souls up there? According to the Catholics, Michael’s no slouch in the fighting department, so I guess running away’s your only option. However, if you’re not safe in heaven, then where do you go? Your only choice is hell, unless we’ve all been misled and there really is a way back to earth after you’ve died after all–
–must - stop - now - gah!
30 April 2008, on 7:52 pm
“Schallenberger was arrested after his parents picked up at the post office a package addressed to the teen containing 20 pounds of ammonium nitrate.”
Why did the USPS give a package to someone to whom it was not addressed? That seems a little fishy to me.
30 April 2008, on 7:58 pm
But wait a minute: what about all those angels and saved souls up there? According to the Catholics, Michael’s no slouch in the fighting department, so I guess running away’s your only option.
Eve, I was ROTFLMAO at your comment #6! I don’t think this nutball thought this whole thing out very well. I am very interested in this, psychologically. I would love to know his reasons for wanting to kill Jeebus and what he expected would happen to him afterwards? I would also like to know how he planned to kill Jeebus…how do you kill a zombie? Anyone remember from the movies how to kill a zombie?
30 April 2008, on 9:09 pm
“how do you kill a zombie? Anyone remember from the movies how to kill a zombie?”
If it’s a secular zombie, you have to destroy the brain. For reasons which should be obvious, I don’t think fundie zombies can be killed.
30 April 2008, on 11:12 pm
If it’s a secular zombie, you have to destroy the brain. For reasons which should be obvious, I don’t think fundie zombies can be killed.
Ahhh, yes, now I remember. The brain. That would indeed pose a problem concerning how to kill a fundie zombie.
1 May 2008, on 12:02 am
Take two emphatic Oy Veys!
Mix with a slow motion: “Awe, Jeese!”
And liberally sprinkle that with a heavy dose of: “SHEEEEESH!”…or your choice?
Besides the obvious drug of Xtianity; I’d be interested to know just what OTHER drug(s) that sicko was on.
Of course, it could just be faulty genes from brain damaged Fundie parents.
And, indeed, what possible drugs are the Postal employees sniffing?
Always with the questions!
More evidence, perhaps, that this old world is one, humongous…infinitely baffling…Cosmic Looney Bin!
And there ain’t no “heaven” to help us poor, powerless, albeit condemned, atheist observers!
Yeah…
“HELP!, HELP!…WE’RE BEING REPRESSED!”
1 May 2008, on 1:08 am
Oh my Gawd, he killed Jebus!
You bastard!
Wow, that kid’s a special kinda fucked in the head, isn’t he.
Yes, I agree Star, fundies will likely find a way to blame this on “the atheist influence” (I never knew I was so influential–I’m just welling with pride…)
I imagine the logic behind their argument will be as sound as this kid’s reasoning was.
And did you actually read that quote from his bone-head mother? Ya wonder how the kid got this way?
1 May 2008, on 8:38 am
Iffen I was gwine kill me some JESUS, I woulda layed down in fronta 18 wheeler and got myself squashed like a bug; cuz, iffen ya make it obvious that you killed yourself (like by blown up a skuel fulla the a-holes that pick on me) than you cain’t go to heaven.
Billybobfunditiod, demo’s inner KKKristian
3 May 2008, on 9:02 pm
“Didn’t he know that the only way to kill Jesus is to stop believing in him?”
-priceless quote from a commenter on another page, same topic.
12 May 2008, on 10:45 pm
You don’t DARE print a letter from a truly caring Christian.. perhaps you fear that you might be converted.. then, what would you say to your peers?
Ummm. WTF? No brainwashing services to go to tonight? Just trolling atheist blogs for the hell of it? You seem so angry? Struggling with your “inner atheist”???
I’m not afraid of your comments.. why do you fear mine?
We don’t fear them, they are just too stupid.
(and we see you are too afraid of us to put up a legitimate website link)
Maybe Jesus wants to tell you something, and perhaps He might choose to use me, an insignificant individual, to tell it to you.
Jeebus always seems to send the stupidest people to “tell us something”.
We will tell you something,
don’t drive-by rant at atheist blogs. We will make you look like the stupid fundie that you are.
Oh…and god is a figment of human imagination. Try calling for him to save you when you are stranded sometime and no humans around to rescue you.
13 May 2008, on 12:36 am
Dude, who stepped on my much, much wittier asshatting?