Man wants name changed to “In God We Trust.”
4 May 2008 by StardustThe nutball stories abound. I found this in Yahoo Odd News category, and that is right where it belongs because it’s so bizarre. Some people go to such extremes just to maintain their sky daddy beliefs. I am embarrassed to say this fruitball is from my state of Illinois. (Actually, he lives up near ChuckA!) And this doofus is allowed to drive bus loads of children around. 
Man asks court to change his name to ‘In God We Trust’
ZION, Ill. - Steve Kreuscher wants a judge to allow him to legally change his name. He wants to be known as “In God We Trust.”
Kreuscher (CROY’-shir) says the new name would symbolize the help God gave him through tough times.
The 57-year-old man also told the (Arlington Heights) Daily Herald he’s worried that atheists may succeed in removing the phrase “In God We Trust” from U.S. currency.
He recalls that the phrase “God Reigns” was removed from the Zion city seal in 1992 after courts deemed it unconstitutional. Zion was founded as a theocracy — by a sect that believed the Earth was flat.
The school bus driver and amateur artist in the northern Chicago suburb says he has filed a petition to change his name in Lake County Circuit Court.
4 May 2008, on 12:12 pm
I just read this story today, too. It is freaking ridiculous.
Wouldn’t society just crumble if we evil atheists removed “In God We Trust” off of our money?
4 May 2008, on 1:05 pm
“(Actually, he lives up near ChuckA!) And this doofus is allowed to drive bus loads of children around.”
Now wait just a minute, Star; are you trying to raise my blood pressure, or something?
Actually, if he lives in ZION…(how biblically appropriate?)…he’s quite a bit north of moi.
Yes, folks…if we’re not allowed to proclaim our (bogas) trust in the delusional “SkyTyrant”…then who(m) the fuck CAN we trust in…
Certainly not us Humans, Roit?
As to, possibly, the good ole Flying Spaghetti Monster? What!…too much printing space and ink?
On that note…
Seriously (NOT!); I’d be willing to substitute:
“In absolutely NO ONE do we trust!” Or…
“Fuck this paper money…I want ONLY Gold or Silver!” Or…
“If you’re actually reading this…this is absolutely worthless counterfeit bullshit…You’ve been totally suckered…
you worthless, delusional, asshat scumbag!” Or…perhaps, more to the point?…
“NA-NA-NA-NA, NA-NA!” [With subtitle]:…
“Your a fucking asshole!”
ROIT!!!
Any other silly suggestions?…hmmMMM
4 May 2008, on 3:06 pm
Now wait just a minute, Star; are you trying to raise my blood pressure, or something?
Actually, if he lives in ZION…(how biblically appropriate?)…he’s quite a bit north of moi.
Sorry Chuck…I forgot you are now being treated for high blood pressure
The story is reported from Arlington Heights and it didn’t say where Mr. In God We Trust resides. I wonder if people will call him “In” for short?
4 May 2008, on 3:13 pm
Stardust, it would be a better nickname than “We”
4 May 2008, on 3:19 pm
I expect people would be more likely to call him “dumbass”, “douchebag” or “Hey moron!” for short.
4 May 2008, on 3:21 pm
benjamin, as in “little weewee brain?” Or maybe he would prefer “God”…I know my husband would like that one. Whenever he is around someone who says “Oh God”, he looks at them and says “Yes? what do you want?”
4 May 2008, on 4:01 pm
He really just doesn’t get it does he?
I think the ACLU or American United or somebody should send him a thank you letter for serving as a good example of individual religious expression. His name is a great contrast to the government expression that is on money. Maybe he could even be cited in some lawsuit against governmental religious expression?
You don’t think he’d mind getting such a letter do you?
4 May 2008, on 6:42 pm
I’d like to announce that I’m changing my name to “Steve Kreuscher’s A Douchebag!” That’s right, complete with the exclamation point. And this way, y’all can call me “Steve” or just “Douchebag” for short.
Coming soon- ideally complete with pix, my family trip to the $28 Million Turd, otherwise known as the House of Ham- or the Creation Museum in nearby Petersburg, KY. My lovable- but demented, Aunt Fuckwit, who’s given somewhere in the six figures range to the project is taking all of us for a tour. I might have to print me up some stickers.
4 May 2008, on 7:14 pm
Would it be blasphemy or taking the Lard’s name in vain to say…
“In God We Trust, would you please pull up your pants?”
“In God We Trust, are you drinking on the job?”
“In God We Trust, can you make a left turn and signal?”
“In God We Trust, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.”
“In God We Trust, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God.”
Mexican kiddoes who go by the unfortunate name of Jesús in the U.S. can attest to these same problems. Personally, I think Gawd will be miffed. Yahweh will now be known as Steve Kreuscher.
4 May 2008, on 7:44 pm
“In God We Trust, are you drinking on the job?”
Mwahaha. Good point, Barbiebrains. If I were to name myself that, the above quote would mostly likely be commonly asked of me.
But back to the idiot… if he were a True Christian, then he would know how terrible he really was and know that he would never be able to live up to his holy name. Thus, he should have been able to dub himself not worthy. This shows that this guy is not a True Christian!
Remember, True Christianity requires you to obsessively hate yourself! Jesus loves you, but you have to hate you.
4 May 2008, on 10:00 pm
Shouldn’t he be changing his name to In God I Trust?
4 May 2008, on 11:59 pm
To return, briefly, to the subject of just exactly WHERE this “In God” guy resides; (as if we all really give a shit?)…the reference to Zion and “Lake County” in the Northern suburbs of Chi-Town suggests the northeast extreme portion of Illinois; close to Lake Michigan and the Wisconsin border. Zion, the home of an important Illinois nuclear plant is also close to Waukegan…of, long deceased, Jack Benny ‘fame’!
Anyway…
Here’s the link to the Lake County shtick for any of you (anal retentive?) scholarly types:
http://www.co.lake.il.us/about/default.asp
What!…ME anal? Or perhaps…
Hemorrhoids Anonymous, anyone?
Ahem!
5 May 2008, on 8:00 am
Why not “Close cover before striking”?
5 May 2008, on 8:52 am
This makes me think about the phrases that have gotten me through some of the trying times in my life, maybe it’s time for a name change. And I’ll leave it up to the GIFS readers to decide which I should go with.
-Get the fuck off my property
-We’re satanists, shouldn’t you be baptising dead people?
-Sorry I was so quick honey
5 May 2008, on 10:32 am
How about “to avoid suffocation, keep away from small children” ?
But, don’t you think this is a lame attempt to claim some cash? “That money is mine… see, it has my name printed on it”… Some very stupid folks might just fall for it.
5 May 2008, on 10:53 am
On second thought, I like the way “Open Your Mouth and Close Your Eyes” rolls off the tongue.
5 May 2008, on 12:34 pm
With any affliation there is always an extremist. While I personally don’t recemend changing the first gift from your mother. This is something we need to focus on less.
Compare this name change the bashing of Dawkins. Compare this to the hate organizations that use my name as a meatshield.
check out a blog that is not organized “B.S.”
thesuprememaster.blogspot.com
-J
5 May 2008, on 12:57 pm
Compare this to the hate organizations that use my name as a meatshield.
What the fuck?
“Meatshield” LOL…that is the strangest thing I have read in awhile.
5 May 2008, on 2:09 pm
I used to have a Meat Shieldtm but I traded it for a Ring of Wishes2, a family-sized bag of Cheetos and a two litre Mountain Dew. In case you’re thinking I ripped somebody off, it was a Kobe Meat Shieldtm.
Apparently, the one who’s name is being used as a meatshield is actually the Son of Gob, himself. Who knew Jeebus blogged.
5 May 2008, on 2:24 pm
How would you even fill that out on forms? Last name: We Trust, First Name: In God?
Bizarre, the wackos out there….
5 May 2008, on 2:59 pm
“meatshield”…a.k.a. dental dam?
5 May 2008, on 4:31 pm
RDZ #19…LMAO! How do you think of this stuff?
I asked my husband what he thought a meatshield was and he said a condom. ???
5 May 2008, on 4:40 pm
The 57-year-old man also told the (Arlington Heights) Daily Herald hes worried that atheists may succeed in removing the phrase In God We Trust from U.S. currency.
Great idea, Steve. Let’s make it a swap. We take “In God We Trust” off the currency, and we give it you. There, problem solved.
5 May 2008, on 4:56 pm
Great idea, Steve. Let’s make it a swap. We take “In God We Trust” off the currency, and we give it you. There, problem solved.
I think that is a reasonable offer.
5 May 2008, on 4:58 pm
Atheists can’t be the only ones campaigning to get that horseshit removed from our currency…or are we, lol?
5 May 2008, on 6:04 pm
I think meat shield and human shield are probably interchangeable descriptions of hostages or innocents placed in harm’s way to prevent one’s foe from firing. I’m guessing- there’s not rationalizing crazy- that J for Jeebus meant that hate organizations used Jeebus’ name to prevent the proper criticism from being launched their way. But, then, interpreting logic first run through the filter of a messianic complex is a fool’s errand. I think I’d rather suffer from an Edward Abbey complex or be the world’s shortest Giant.
My material comes from a very precariously held together, chemically- ravaged brain that is prone to flying apart at a moment’s notice.
5 May 2008, on 10:02 pm
Shortly after I read this post I was doing some work and the formularock radio station in Ithaca had a guest who is a tv shrink of some sort. They told him about it and he said, “Obviously narcissistic, up the meds.”
5 May 2008, on 11:02 pm
I realized that if he changed his name to “In God We Trust,” all his friends and relative would have to change their names to “I’m with Stupid.”
5 May 2008, on 11:13 pm
^It does smack just a bit of self-indulgence (the righteously indignant type–my personal favorite.)
I, on the other hand, am taking up a truly worthwhile cause that will address that which truly endangers our nation. In a time when our country is ravaged with problems, there seems to be only one action that will lead us in the right direction.
I have decided to take a stand against the Xtians who want to destroy our country with their influence, insisting that Jupiter is a “false God” and Latin a “dead language.”
I am hereby announcing my plans to go to city hall tomorrow to apply for a name change to “E Pluribus Unum.”
Curses to those who would attempt to overshadow this precious Latin message from our nations currency with their fixation on “In God We Trust.”
May Jupiter’s love and wrathful vengeance be with you, always-
E
6 May 2008, on 12:01 am
I am hereby announcing my plans to go to city hall tomorrow to apply for a name change to E Pluribus Unum.
As a student of Latin, I’m am with you!
Tomorrow, I shall answer only to the name Omnia Gallia in tres partes divisa est.
I was debating Arma virumque cano… but I’ll go with C. Iulius Caeser instead.
Ave Jove! Domine mundi!
6 May 2008, on 3:42 pm
I’ll just change my name to Flying Spaghetti Monster Awesome Rockin’ Pirate Chick.
Anyone got a problem with that? *slowly polishes already-wickedly-sharp cutlass*
6 May 2008, on 8:24 pm
^Awww…your name change is cooler than mine, Eve.
7 May 2008, on 1:59 am
I’ll go with Illegitimus Non Carborundum…
…which, I understand, is not actually Latin at all…
…or Nunquam Ubi Sub Ubi…
…which only sounds correct…
…or even Inter Faeces Et Urinam Nascimur…
…because it has a nice ring to it.
7 May 2008, on 2:12 pm
I wish they’d change the phrase “Backed by the Full Faith And Credit of the United States Government” to
“Backed by the full nuclear and conventional arsenal of the United States Government”.
More honest, y’know?
No deletion, just this addition:
“In God ‘We’ Trust — Suckers! Ka-Ching!”
7 May 2008, on 6:35 pm
I’m changing mine to the Virgin Mary.