11 comments to “Xianity in Amerikkka”

1. democommie:
   6 July 2008, on 5:33 pm

   You can have my Go(l)d Card when you can pry it from my cold dead fingers!!

2. John Marley:
   6 July 2008, on 6:57 pm

   So much for “Render unto Caesar…”

3. Fritzy:
   6 July 2008, on 8:36 pm

   “It’s not yours, it’s God’s, and you’re not going to get it,”

   Actually, Mr. Copeland, if the government/IRS discovers that you are engaging in practices that bring your tax-exempt status into question (you are), then you are wrong on both of the above counts.

   So much for this camel passing through the eye of a needle.

4. AtheistUnderMask:
   6 July 2008, on 9:27 pm

   You’d think this idiot would’ve learned something when Dr Dino went to jail. It didn’t work then and it’s not going to work now.

5. Neil:
   6 July 2008, on 11:02 pm

   I’d be surprised if douchebag Copeland even keeps serious financial records. He just got kicked off of the Oral Roberts University board of regents. Makes me wonder what “god” has to hide, hmmm?
   I remember stumbling across the old Believers Voice of Victory show on tv. I admit, he always seemed quite sincere(compared to other, less talented actors of the televangelism world.) Unlike many televangelist fundraisers, he was pretty fire and brimstone, scaring old ladies into paying his extortion.
   According to the wikipedia page on him, he has contributed heavily to various causes, but I would like to know what percentage of income is spent on charity…and no, giving to other churches with the intent of increasing the kingdom doesn’t count.

6. bob:
   7 July 2008, on 1:10 am

   The man is a piece of shit. Typical lying christian.

7. democommie:
   7 July 2008, on 12:56 pm

   bob:

   You forgot, “fuckbag, dickwad asshat”.

8. Brooklyn Boy:
   7 July 2008, on 4:08 pm

   I guess the late, great George Carlin was right. God may be all powerful and all knowing but he just can’t handle money.

   Besides, if Copeland got out of the televangelism business, he’d have to make an honest living instead.

9. Peter:
   7 July 2008, on 10:00 pm

   I’ve heard the expression ‘God is my co-pilot’ before but ‘God is my accountant’…?

10. Crudely Wrott:
    7 July 2008, on 10:58 pm

    Dog knows that all, I say, all of those dollars were contributed willingly and knowingly; in the best of faith. Just as they are in all churches.

    And yet it’s funny how knowledge of the immediate and long range plans of the master builder of Universes is so often correlated with a plague of mammon.

    Biblical, man.

11. Stardust:
    8 July 2008, on 12:20 pm

    Chapter 24 of Why Won’t God Heal Amputees?
    
    Why does Jesus need your money?

    I will answer your prayers. Pray to me for anything and I will hear and answer your prayers. I say it in dozens of places in the Bible, but I like the way I say it in Mark 11:24 the best: “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Anything you need — money, love, happiness, you name it — I am here to provide it for you.

    Now, there is just one thing I need in return. I need your money. I need lots of your money. The Bible specifies that you send me ten percent of your gross income, but think of that as a starting point. Feel free to give more! When they pass the offering plate at church, be sure to give generously!

    Because even though I created the universe and everything in it, and even though I will give you everything you ask for in prayer, I can’t give a cent to any church, ever.

    So, please give generously at your place of worship today! I thank you for your support!”

    This is what every church tells you every Sunday morning when they pass the plate. Jesus is the all-powerful creator of the universe and everything in it, he will answer all of your prayers, but he has no money.

    Why don’t the ministers and deacons of the church gather together every Sunday morning and pray for Jesus to deposit $1,000,000 in gold bars in the offering plate? Why doesn’t Jesus answer their prayers? Why do they have to beg for money from mere mortals when there is an immortal, all-powerful God who should provide anything they ask for?

    The reason why Jesus needs lots of your money every Sunday morning should be obvious to you at this point.