No More Happy Meals for Jesus’ Kids!
9 July 2008 by Karen
Well, it’s been a while, but you’ll all be relieved to know that The American Family Association has found another subject to boycott: McDonald’s. Why? TEH GAYS! Those evil, subversive hummersexuals have infiltrated all that is holy and truly Amurrican-the Big Mac, the Quarter Pounder, the Sausage McMuffin, the Adam’sApple Turnover and anything Supersized! How’d they do it? Brace yourselves, ugly words ahead…tolerance and, dare I say it? Diversity! McDonald’s donated $20,000 to the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. Yowsers!
From here, this apparently means that
McDonald’s, as a corporation, [is] refusing to remain neutral in the culture wars. McDonald’s has chosen not to remain neutral but to give the full weight of their corporation to promoting the homosexual agenda, including homosexual marriage.
Full weight? Does the AFA think that $20,000 check was supersized with a few extra zeroes before the decimal point? Mickey D’s probably throws out $20K worth of grease a day.
AFA is upset at McDonald’s for refusing to condemn Vice President of Communications Richard Ellis’s decision to serve on the Board of Directors of the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC). AFA President Donald Wildmon said the situation is “strange” because “it’s the family that McDonald’s appeals to — children’s playland, you know, all the little toys, all of that. And they are promoting a lifestyle that would utterly destroy the traditional family.”
Yeah-destroying the traditional family-one clogged artery at a time!
McDonald’s has come back at the AFA with this statement:
We treat our employees and our customers with respect and dignity, regardless of their ethnicity, religious beliefs, sexual orientation or other factors. We support our employees’ personal involvement in organizations of their choice.
In other words, if our customers and employees want to hold the cheese or hold the lettuce, what they want will not upset us. Oh wait, that’s Burger King…Maybe the Burger King and Ronald McDonald are secretly a couple!
I highly recommend a reading of Chris Kelly’s rollicking Huffington Post article McDonald’s Makes Jesus Cry, which is where I first read the news. Hat tip to alexatheist over at NoGodBlog.
Here’s a fun link to read some of the responses to the AFA boycott ad, but I didn’t see any nearly as funny as the ones Chris Kelly mined.
And another funny item I came across when doing some searching on this post: apparently the AFAOneNewsNow site has a filter which auto replaces the word”gay” with the word “homosexual”. And it ends up with some unfortunate results, such as sprinter Tyson Gay being renamed Tyson Homosexual. See here.
Now, I don’t really eat at Mickey D’s all that much, but I think I’m Lovin’ It tonight! How about you?
9 July 2008, on 11:32 pm
Gotta love the comments on the boycott site…I cannot imagine how they so consistently miss the point on any issue pertaining to “teh gheys” (as they like to be called). It seems that any time that you try to assure that these Jesus freaks treat gays with fairness and tolerance, they react as if you are planning a mass movement to turn everyone gay. Or as if you are planning to sodomise a rouge-covered Uncle Sam in front of the general populace, all while defecating upon American flags and burning crosses(which is unacceptable when done off of a black guy’s front yard). It is completely insane that they feel that this paltry amount of McDonald’s total wealth being invested in a gay and lesbian group demands boycott. Feels like “Golden Compass” hysteria all over again…always protesting, these people…
9 July 2008, on 11:33 pm
My favorite dumbass comments were
and
9 July 2008, on 11:41 pm
So that’s what’s in the secret sauce…
9 July 2008, on 11:52 pm
Lol, just posted this there:
Hope it passes through!
10 July 2008, on 12:17 am
One time, when I and my nuclear family- my wife, Crystal Jean, my born again virgin daughter, Loofah Belle, and my son, Raindog, Jr.- was celebrating Mother’s Day by pooling our funds to buy Crystal Jean one each of them Extra Value meals, 1-10 (She’s a big eater, my Crystal Jean). Anyhow, there we was, the french fries a flyin’, when up comes Ronald McDonald, himself, and the Hamburglar. While Ronald flitted around the table like a regular butterfly, giving Loofah Belle his autograph and complimenting her through mime on her judicious application of her Tammy Faye brand cosmetics, the Hamburglar just stood there bowlegged as a western gunfighter nodding his lifelike Larry Craig masked face with a leer. Why, we was all enjoying ourselves immensely, when, all of a sudden, Ronald pitched himself forward on the table between us and undid the flap on the ass of his bright yellow clown jumper. The Hamburglar whipped out his all beef patty and commenced to cornholing that clown right there in our faces. I was so outraged that I leaped to my feet and promptly broke my anger-fueled hard-on on the under side of the table- they tell you there ain’t a real bone in there but it sure broke like one. Now my sleep is riddled with nightmares of Ronald’s buttocks jiggling under the Hamburglar’s frenzied thrusts and Crystal Jean’s taken to complaining about the stiffness in my side of the sheets…
Sorry to step on your post, Karen, we must have been finishing up at about the same time.
10 July 2008, on 12:23 am
No problem RDZ, I’m having trouble typing, I’m laughing so hard at your comment!!!!! I love you, you know that? You just slay me sometimes!
Star- That sand comment from the Huffington article was my personal fav, too. ” What would we do without sand!”
10 July 2008, on 2:52 am
RDZ, have you ever seen Grimace in a gimp outfit being sodomized by with cold mcnuggets by Mayor McCheese?
You should. It stays with you.
10 July 2008, on 2:53 pm
What will we do without Sandy?
11 July 2008, on 3:28 pm
I’m still trying to figure out that “sand” comment. I’m not sure, but I think it might be a stroke of Burroughsian genius, automatic writing straight from the subconscious. It’s beautiful in its shattering incoherence.
Really, what will we do without sands, once the gays have destroyed.
Really, what will we do?
We should all think about this. It’s a serious issue, and I don’t think we are ready to face the consequences of its realization.
What will… we do… without sand?
14 July 2008, on 4:45 pm
Now we know why the Grimace is always grimacing, must’ve ran out of K-Y. Ouch!