Pastor demonstrates “shit happens”
21 July 2008 by StardustFundies provide an endless supply of stuff to mock. Here is another one to make you laugh.
The senior pastor of Crossroads Community Church in Kokomo, Indiana was trying to give some sort of lesson on how to be “one” with his motorcycle . . . I assume to illustrate how one needs to be “one with god” (I have heard these types of sermons before.) Well, he didn’t exactly become “one” with his bike and gave a very good example about how his god was not there for him, and there is no one to become “one” with. We each are on our own, and shit happens because of things we cannot control, or because we do something idiotic, as did Pastor Jeff here:
Pastor gets into motorcycle crash — during service
KOKOMO, Ind. - A pastor brought out a dirt bike during a church service to demonstrate the concept of unity. Now he’s demonstrating the concept of healing.
Jeff Harlow, the senior pastor at Crossroads Community Church, broke his wrist when he lost control of the motorcycle at the start of Sunday’s second service, driving off a 5-foot platform and into the vacant first row of seats. He underwent surgery on the wrist Monday.
“Jeff has already laughed a lot, so he’s OK. I think his pride was bruised,” said his wife, Becky.
Becky Harlow said her husband had recently attended a motorcycle race in Buchanan, Mich.
“He had this idea that he would bring this bike out onstage and show people how the rider would become one with the bike,” she told the Kokomo Tribune. “He was going to just sit on it and drive it out. He was just walking the dirt bike out onstage and somehow it got away from him. It was not intended.”
No one else was hurt.
Jeff Harlow had performed the demonstration at earlier services Saturday night and Sunday morning without incident.
This seems to be a thing with redneck pastors…lookie here at youth pastor David Few (That should be Pastor David-Too-Few-Brain-Cells).
21 July 2008, on 11:15 pm
It really does write itself, doesn’t it? Perhaps, good ol’ Darwin’s Theory will rid us of these meddlesome fucks if we just stand aside and laugh.
21 July 2008, on 11:50 pm
I wonder if some lab techies did some careful evidence sampling from that motorcycle’s seat; they might find some “brain drippings” on it.
[Scene: One Techie talking to another]:
1st Techie: “Yeah Rumpelstiltskin,…not only brain matter…there’s also some bible page particles…mixed in with a bit of the pastor clown’s shit!”
2nd Techie: “Stop calling me that, asshole…If I told you once; I told you a thousand times…
my name is Throtmorton!”
22 July 2008, on 12:52 am
Heh, Kokomo is 20 minutes away from me.
22 July 2008, on 7:23 am
Dumb ass. I guess he’s not “one with the bike” after all, whatever the hell that means. I’m sure his next sermon will be about how god allowed him to crash in order to send him a message about being too proud of his motorbike.
22 July 2008, on 8:55 am
“You kilt my scooter!”
22 July 2008, on 10:37 am
I’m sure his next sermon will be about how god allowed him to crash in order to send him a message about being too proud of his motorbike.
Exactly. These clowns are really great at making it up as they go along. Changing their story according to fit events that have happened already and altering it to make future “predictions.”
22 July 2008, on 3:21 pm
Seems like Jeebus and motorcycles are worshipped hand in hand in some denominations and seems to be universal.
Eddy Rides Motorcycle on Stage in Church
Pastor has a wild side
pastor Ndour getting his bike part 2
Pastor Lee rides in on Harley
pastor moody on a motor cycle
Motorcycle Scene from I’m Dreaming about Heaven Stupid scare tactics to try to get people to follow Jeebus. Hilarious!
Bike Blessing from Hollister “07″ by Pastor Z
Youth Pastor Motorcycle
Jesus Christ Motorcycle Stunt
Jesus on a Motorcycle
Jesus would have been a Biker
22 July 2008, on 5:27 pm
Funny I ran across your ignorant website filled with lies. If you have ever experienced anything that is good in your lives and in the world you might be a bit more understanding of the situation this pastor was put in. He is a good man for starters, he’s an honest, caring, and a very compassionate person. He loves his job and he loves our so called “joke” of a God. Of course I should inform you he use to be my pastor when I still lived in that state. It’s unfortunate that everyone one here is so quick to judge someone they don’t even know. As you stated things do happen accidents happen. Thats the way the world works. We all live in a world of sin. And to that might I add that that maybe some of you have experienced more than others. Hence why you all are so bitter towards this pastor. In his services he uses props and demonstrations so that everyone may understand what he is trying to teach. I can fully agree that there are some weird churches out there and that some may be more aggressive than others. BUT, may I make the suggestion to any of you who might be curious about this or brush it off because you are so caught up in the ways of the world, maybe just maybe what harm would it do if you picked up a Bible to see what it is about instead believing something a scientist or a theorist MADE UP. Funny how you would believe something like oh for example “the big bang theory” who came up with that…OH thats right a bunch of guys who had nothing better to do than to come up with a THEORY just make that void in there life less apparent. oh and that was also a cute comment about Darwin’s THEORY. What’s even funnier about Darwin is that the man on his death bed actually claimed he felt there was something bigger out there, something that he actually felt was of a higher power ruling over our world. Interesting isn’t it. Many many well known scientist actually stand by the Bible for its credibility. Nothing has yet to be disproved in it! As a matter of fact many things have been proven. The splitting of the Red Sea… if you know your Bible stories you should know this one! Guess what they have actually found in the Red Sea… wagon wheels and chariots strung across in a line when the Red Sea was split. Huh how about that. They have also found Noah’s Ark which in turn has been searched and its description actually fits that of what is in the Bible. Amazing people…. do your homework before you talk your smack. Oh and last but not least for anyone who thinks we might have started from the big bang theory or from a rock or whatever, do you really think… that we ourselves as complex individuals as we are each of us having a different fingerprint, birth marks, teeth, facial features, body types, hair , all of the above… do you really think that we started from nothing? I could go on forever telling you all what to believe and what not to, but the key here and my point is I challenge you all go look for the answers. Don’t sit on your butts and toss this one out because you think I am crazy. Find out the truth and don’t let people blind side you!
22 July 2008, on 10:02 pm
Couple things occur to me; people screaming like they’re at a concert or a football game is disconcerting in a church service and I wonder what percentage of those would-be Gob’s Angels like to lick the tailpipe like Rob Halford?
22 July 2008, on 10:04 pm
Well, well…it’s been awhile since we have had a visit from a whining fundie coming to lap up some more persecution complex.
Ashley, I am afraid you do not know what the scientific definition of “theory” is.
Read please dear Ashley…and try, please try to comprehend:
And while you are at it (since you want to bring science into your mythology beliefs), maybe you will want to try to answer the following concerning Intelligent Design:
What are ID’s scientific predictions?
What are its unifying principles?
What experiments have been done to support your ID theory? WITHOUT THE MYTHOLOGY BOOK.
22 July 2008, on 10:09 pm
And also an idiot. And yes, Ashley…we have experienced many good things in life, but we do not attribute those things to some invisible supernatural Sky Boss. There is no grand puppetmaster pulling the strings of billions and billions of people past present and future, no babysitter of ghosts, no monitoring of who goes to eternal torture and who gets golden wings. It’s all fantasy Ashley. For you to comment you must be bothered by this and doubting. It’s okay to questions and doubt. Most of us have been there.
Define “sin” Ashley. I bet your definition of sin is different than that of another individual. This “sin” is so very broad and also very vague. The “sins” god botherers focus on are so trivial, more concerned with what a woman does with her own body, concerned with relationships two consenting adults have with one another…things that are none of your business. However, you support wars that kill millions of innocent people, never focus on yourselves and how you are wasting money and fuel on motorcycle stunts and other things to make yourselves feel more “holy” while that money could be spent to feed hungry children and provide a little bit for people in need. You churchies just want your country club, your fun, your Jeebus “entertainment.” So before you go lecturing other people, look in the mirror.
We are human…we make mistakes that we have to live with and embarrassments like your pastor at times (well, maybe not that dumb), but most of us try to learn from our mistakes, some never learn. But no sky daddy is going to interfere because he simply is a figment of human imagination like all the other gods of various societies in past and present.
Which well-known scientists? Sources? Or just hearsay of what your are spoonfed in your little Xian environment? And where are you getting your “facts”? From people like whackadoo Ken Ham? You are brainwashed if you are taking your church’s word for things without researching all other sources for yourself.
How about this, huh? You are being bullshitted by god botherers to keep you one with the Borg. Read the following links and get more information, if you dare.
LINK: Did the Red Sea Part? No Evidence, Archaeologists Say
and
Claims are unsubstantiated
As Austin Cline states:
“It sounds like people are seeing what they want to see - over a large expanse of sea, it’s not surprising that they might discover a couple of places where there is a pattern that matches what they are looking for. Of course such “discoveries” will make someone a star - not just on TV, though. It will also make them a star on the evangelical Christian lecture circuit, complete with a book and numerous interviews and magazine article. These discoveries tell people what they want to hear about the historicity of the Bible, and many evangelical Christians are quite happy to spend lots of money to confirm what they already believe. Of course, they aren’t acting any different from normal people here, but they have a heavy emotional investment in their religion so they have strong motivations to find “evidence,” any evidence,’ to confirm things for them. “
Most of us here have read the Bible, some of us more than one time. Many of us have studied it at the university level. Have you read your Bible, Ashley? If you have how do you explain Leviticus? How do you explain god killing babies? How do you explain drunken and Noah (exposing his naked self to his sons) being spared when the world is wiped out by your god for being evil? How do you explain the inconsistencies and contradictions in your “holy texts”? The Bible is full of violence, perversion, murder, cruelty, and encourages bigotry, hatefulness, and so much more. It’s the crappiest book ever written. (Written by ancient, superstitious MEN.)
Grow a brain, learn to think and investigate things for yourself. Someday you may be embarrassed for defending your pastor and his stupid little motorcycle stunt.
23 July 2008, on 10:10 am
Why would we be bitter towards someone with such a high entertainment factor? What’s he gonna ride this Sunday? I got a pony that likes to buck. I could even change his name to Lucifer or Beezelbub (wrong spelling I’m sure). God-blessed rodeo anyone?
23 July 2008, on 10:15 am
I got a pony that likes to buck. I could even change his name to Lucifer or Beezelbub (wrong spelling I’m sure). God-blessed rodeo anyone?
cry4turtles, I am sure that has been done. Ashley’s mind probably lit up when she read that one…”Ponies! Yay!”
23 July 2008, on 11:45 am
My, my Ashley, that bit of boo-hooing must have been quite cathartic for you. Feeling better now? Or is your nose all stuffy and you have a headache from all that crying? You need a pick-me -up? Turn to your Babble for inspiration, dear. I suggest reading the story about getting your father drunk and then fucking him. Or, for more giggles, read about how you can be sold into marriage by being raped-or- watch out! You could just get stoned to death if you don’t scream loud enough. Shits and giggles, I tell ya, that book’s full of ‘em! No wonder Pastor Harlow is so inspired and coordinated in his demonstrations.
23 July 2008, on 5:31 pm
Well no winning anyone over on here…. how do you know God isn’t real?
23 July 2008, on 5:58 pm
how do you know God isn’t real?
Because there is zero evidence for the existence of a god. How do you know Thor isn’t real? How do you know Santa Claus isn’t real? How do you know the Flying Spaghetti Monster isn’t real? How do you know Ra Isis, Orisis aren’t real? Zeus? How do you know the Hindu gods aren’t real? Hindus believe in their gods as adamantly as you believe in your’s. Believing in something doesn’t make it real.
Humans make up their gods however they want them to be. What culture you are born and raised in determines what god you will probably be taught to believe in.
Ever stop to wonder why nothing happens without human intervention? No god comes when you are in need, but people do. People clean up the messes after natural disasters, human doctors save people’s lives with medicine which they spend many years in school learning. Firemen, policemen and soldiers protect us because no sky daddy is going to. Think about that, really think about it.
23 July 2008, on 6:24 pm
how do you know God isn’t real?
How do you know it IS real? Besides what Stardust already said, if you took time to think about it, Ashley, you’d realize that no gods could exist without man to invent them. It’s way, way past time to put away the superstitions our ancestors manufactured to answer the questions about what was beyond the safety of the campfire. There’s no magic man, no chance for immortality. You weren’t born with the sins of your forefathers weighted around your neck. You were lucky enough to be born a self-aware, albeit, finite being. Enjoy the numbered days you have on this planet without groveling to an imaginary tyrant.
23 July 2008, on 9:23 pm
For Ashley (and any other visiting trolls)…a couple of , “Religious belief” related, YouTube videos:
“Christopher Hitchens - Religion Illustrated (1 of 2)” [length: 8:40]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vueL6iEipsE&feature=related
“Christopher Hitchens - Religion Illustrated (2 of 2)” [length: 5:01]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nc2nfIUMSmI&feature=related
24 July 2008, on 8:19 am
When will one of these idiots decide that he should be using a WWII surplus M2-2 flamethrower to show his congregants the effects of hellfire? What a bunch of fuckheads.
24 July 2008, on 4:52 pm
Wow, you know religious leaders are getting desperate to attract and keep butts in their pews when they pull stupid stunts like these. My first thought was is the bike supposed to be god and the rider his worshipper, in which case you’re saying that god is a thing you use? Or is the bike supposed to be the worshipper and the rider god, in which case you’re saying that god uses us like things? The latter is also distinctly blasphemous, because other religions, notably voudun, say that their gods “ride” their worshippers…
As for Ashley’s first appearance above: cut-and-paste generic comment of usual creationist ignorance.
Her second comment, you guys are already handling. Good work!
24 July 2008, on 5:59 pm
For Ashley’s benefit, I’ll put aside my pan-seared leg of christian infant, wipe the blodd and barbecue sauce from my fingers, and respond:
Funny I ran across your ignorant website filled with lies.
Lies? Where?
If you have ever experienced anything that is good in your lives and in the world you might be a bit more understanding of the situation this pastor was put in.
I get it, you assume that we atheists live in a cold, cruel world devoid of feelings? Not even close. Also, the pastor put himself in the situation by bringing a motorcycle into church. The Darwin Awards folks are on Line 2.
He is a good man for starters, he’s an honest, caring, and a very compassionate person.
Did anyone say otherwise?
He loves his job and he loves our so called “joke” of a God.
Good for him. Again, did someone say otherwise?
Of course I should inform you he use to be my pastor when I still lived in that state.
So?
It’s unfortunate that everyone one here is so quick to judge someone they don’t even know. As you stated things do happen accidents happen.
While accidents do indeed happen, the chances of them happening increase exponentially when you bring a heavy machinery indoors.
Thats the way the world works. We all live in a world of sin.
No, sorry, we live in a world of humans, some good and some bad. Any “evil” or “sin” in the world is merely the work of individuals either opting to do wrong or psychologically incapable of knowing the difference.
And to that might I add that that maybe some of you have experienced more than others.
Cue “Amazing Grace” in inbred southern patois.
Hence why you all are so bitter towards this pastor. In his services he uses props and demonstrations so that everyone may understand what he is trying to teach.
Listen carefully. It’s no more bitter to laugh at your pastor friend’s mishap than it is to chuckle along with “America’s Funniest Home Videos” when the guy gets hit in the nards.
I can fully agree that there are some weird churches out there and that some may be more aggressive than others.
Agreed.
BUT…
Uh-oh. Cue proselytizing in 5…4…3…2…1;
…may I make the suggestion to any of you who might be curious about this or brush it off because you are so caught up in the ways of the world, maybe just maybe what harm would it do if you picked up a Bible to see what it is about instead believing something a scientist or a theorist MADE UP.
In what world do scientists make things up- aside from the paid hacks in industry “think tanks”? A scientist makes an hypothesis based on observations of a certain subject. Then, months or years of tedious experimentation occurs before that initial idea is even made public, at which point other scientists in that particular field investigate and debate the published results attempting both to confirm and to refute that first scientist’s conclusions. All this has to take place before a new idea becomes a scientific theory.
Funny how you would believe something like oh for example “the big bang theory” who came up with that…OH thats right a bunch of guys who had nothing better to do than to come up with a THEORY just make that void in there life less apparent.
Are you really that ill-informed on matters of physics?
Oh and that was also a cute comment about Darwin’s THEORY.What’s even funnier about Darwin is that the man on his death bed actually claimed he felt there was something bigger out there, something that he actually felt was of a higher power ruling over our world. Interesting isn’t it.
Maybe a little bit interesting if were in any way factual. This urban myth has been grapevined around the internets by people- like you- who simply repeat things they hear without bothering to check on their veracity. Lady Hope’s claim of Darwin’s “conversion” was thoroughly debunked close to 80- count ‘em, 80- years ago by both his son and daughter who were at his side during his final illness- and who were quite certain that no one called Lady Hope had even been in the vicinity. You would do better at this stuff if you could rid your spiel of horse manure like that.
Many many well known scientist actually stand by the Bible for its credibility. Nothing has yet to be disproved in it! As a matter of fact many things have been proven. The splitting of the Red Sea… if you know your Bible stories you should know this one! Guess what they have actually found in the Red Sea… wagon wheels and chariots strung across in a line when the Red Sea was split. Huh how about that. They have also found Noah’s Ark which in turn has been searched and its description actually fits that of what is in the Bible. Amazing people…. do your homework before you talk your smack. Oh and last but not least for anyone who thinks we might have started from the big bang theory or from a rock or whatever, do you really think… that we ourselves as complex individuals as we are each of us having a different fingerprint, birth marks, teeth, facial features, body types, hair , all of the above… do you really think that we started from nothing?
Ahem. BULLSHIT! There are crackpots out there that claim all sorts of things. Unsubstantiated claims are utterly worthless. First, there is no, none, zero evidence that the entire Exodus of the purportedly Egyptian-enslaved Hebrews ever took place. No evidence of Noah, let alone his preposterous Bronze Age ULCC. No evidence of Moses. No evidence of Abraham. Hell, the only tidibits of evidence for Jeebus are in question historically. There was a catastrophic flood in the Black Sea region about 10,000 years ago, when the melt-swollen Mediterranean crashed through the former land barrier at the Bosporus. The geological evidence is there for a rapid rize in water level of 300 meters in the Black Sea, as well as an enormous influx of salt water into the formerly fresh. Unfortunately, this event was put to page long before the story of Noah in the Sumerian “Epic of Gilgamesh”, as well as in the lore of many peoples indigenous to that region then.
I could go on forever telling you all what to believe and what not to, but the key here and my point is I challenge you all go look for the answers. Don’t sit on your butts and toss this one out because you think I am crazy. Find out the truth and don’t let people blind side you!
Doesn’t your buybull tell you to take the beam out of your eye before pointing out the mote in someone else’s? Cause, Lady, you got a telephone pole sticking out of each eye socket that hasn’t allowed you to see a thing since- I’m guessing- late kindergarten/early first grade. We are constantly researching our positions, constantly attempting to broaden our horizons, constantly awed by the sheer volume of what we’ve yet to learn, and constantly, voraciously correcting that situation.
My baby is getting cold…
24 July 2008, on 11:25 pm
Thanks, Raindogzilla, for your excellent, informative…debunking scholarship (”hard work”?), and…
“Bon appetit!”?…or maybe…
“Would someone please pass the barbecue sauce?”
24 July 2008, on 11:51 pm
Raindogzilla:
Baby, whether, christian or heathen, should only be barbecued by those few (such as yourself) who know enough to keep the fire low and baste frequently. For the average infantagourmand, braising is a more reliable technique–but it certainly doesn’t give you that crispy skin!!
25 July 2008, on 9:06 am
demo, I use a recipe for Peking Duck taught to me by my ancient, secret Chinese drycleaners- who’ve also taught me the facts of life, that he who fart in church sit in own pew, and that Calgon does indeed take one away.