You’re supposed to be on Dave, and then you lie, cancel, and then go on Katie?…

Bad move, John…

I’m guessing that maybe it had something to do with Keith — but that’s just speculation…

Just so we’re all on the same (martial law) page…

And if that wasn’t enough, DHS is now looking to implement “pre-screening” security that monitors pupils, blood pressure, and body temperature — the point of of which is to detect “hostile thoughts.”

Yep, no false positives here. No, sir.

All of this in the name of liberty, of course. (Isn’t it obvious?)

This is just what we DON’T need . . . more priests!

U.S. Catholics pray for more priests

WELLESLEY, Massachusetts (Reuters) – The sign outside St. James Church in the affluent Boston suburb of Wellesley sums up Catholicism’s deepening struggles in the United States.

“Still searching for a priest,” it reads. Another sign affixed to its thick doors pleads: “Save St. James.”

Facing dwindling congregations, shifting demographics and a drain on cash from settling sexual abuse lawsuits, Roman Catholic churches are shuttering at a quickening pace in a traditional stronghold, the U.S. Northeast.

Thank human goodness!

FEWER PRIESTS

While Catholics remain the nation’s second-biggest religious group with about 22 percent of the population, a figure roughly unchanged since 1965 thanks to an influx of Hispanics, many dioceses are struggling to find priests.

Of the nation’s 18,479 parishes in 2008, 3,141 were without resident pastors, while the 480 priests ordained in 2008 is less than half the number of new priests in 1965.

The pedophiles can no longer find a safe haven in the priesthood. And who wants to be a priest with the reputation the Church now has? What will they do?

Nice little ditty from “Mr. Dan,” as we call him in Da Biz…

There are no factual assertions that religion can reasonably claim as its own, off limits to science. Many who readily grant this have not considered its implications. It means, for instance, that there are no factual assertions about the origin of the universe or its future trajectory, or about historical events (floods, the parting of seas, burning bushes, etc.), about the goal or purpose of life, or about the existence of an afterlife and so on, that are off limits to science. After all, assertions about the purpose or function of organs, the lack of purpose or function of, say, pebbles or galaxies, and assertions about the physical impossibility of psychokinesis, clairvoyance, poltergeists, trance channeling, etc. are all within the purview of science; so are the parallel assertions that strike closer to the traditionally exempt dogmas of long-established religions. You can’t consistently accept that expert scientific testimony can convict a charlatan of faking miracle cures and then deny that the same testimony counts just as conclusively—”beyond a reasonable doubt”—against any factual claims of violations of physical law to be found in the Bible or other religious texts or traditions. What does that leave for religion to talk about? Moral injunctions and declarations of love (and hate, unfortunately), and other ceremonial speech acts. The moral codes of all the major religions are a treasury of ethical wisdom, agreeing on core precepts, and disagreeing on others that are intuitively less compelling, both to those who honor them and those who don’t. The very fact that we agree that there are moral limits that trump any claim of religious freedom—we wouldn’t accept a religion that engaged in human sacrifice or slavery, for instance—shows that we do not cede to religion, to any religion, the final authority on moral injunctions.

I kinda like that last part: when it comes to religion, the only thing where it could possibly take a stand is morality — and even there, it sucks.

Texans look to the heavens as they rebuild, heal from Ike

ANAHUAC, Texas (AP) — Wearing jeans and rubber boots, clutching Bibles and weeping between hymns, residents of the storm-shattered Texas coast comforted one another Sunday at makeshift church services that provided more than a respite from Hurricane Ike cleanup. About 50 people came together on a basketball court outside the Oak Island Baptist Church on the tip of Trinity Bay. They sat on folding chairs or simply stood, forced outdoors by the 1-inch layer of mud left inside the one-story red brick building by floodwaters that tossed pews like matchsticks. [...] “I know it’s hard. Looking around, it’s tough,” the Rev. Eddie Shauberger told the congregants. “But there is a God, and he has a plan for our lives.” [...] But the strides are small, and island leaders emphasized that Galveston remained dangerous. Police will indefinitely enforce a 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. curfew once the island reopens, and parents were warned their children could be exposed to infections from storm debris and other hazards. Planes continued spraying the island to control mosquitoes. Officials urged those returning to wear masks to protect from mold and to properly dispose of spoiled food to stave off vermin.

Ah yes, just turn the clocks back before our understanding of microbes, and you have additional pain and suffering through infections and vermin. How nice. Glory!

I have always found it incredibly odd that those looking for “hope” and “understanding” by turning to a being through tragedies in order to “find meaning” in them are bypassing the obvious fact that this is the same being that caused them.

Isn’t that, like, medication-type-stuff?

“But He loves you”…

I honestly admit it: I’m a Jebus Mythicist. I can say with a strong degree of certainty, that I’m utterly underwhelmed by the alleged ‘evidence’ that most Christians bring with them. They tend to whip out these frenzied copy ‘n pastes from some website as if it were some grand salvo to sink the ship of one’s atheism.

One can’t blame the poor dears for becoming upset when they’re laughed roundly out the door.

One of the more irritating ‘proofs’ I’ve seen trotted out is this idiotic ‘500 witnesses’ bilge. Here is a link, for those of you who can stomach the intricate mental gymnastics necessary to re-affirm the faith of the believers.

But of course, this addled argument derives directly from the scriptures:

1 Corinthians,15:6:

After that, he was seen by more than 500 brothers at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have died.

Prior to my choice of becoming an atheist, I saw through this nonsense immediately.

If you’ve ever played the game of telephone, you’d know how daft this argument is. Apart from granting the existence of the Apostles, Mary Magdalene, maybe old Joe of Arimathea (let’s say we just grant all the names from the NT), once the math is done, it’s somewhat less than one hundred. Who were they? Did they have names? Name half of them, please. This is usually followed by a lot of fum-fah’s, an occasional harrumph! and some pretty unspectacular logic. ‘Well, they were Christians, so we should just go ahead and believe it.’

Needless to say, a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend doesn’t fly in my book, or even in a court of law.

 The more we discover about perceptions, the more we realize that there are few absolutes, and grey areas multiply like so many gray hares. Case in point: this article points out just how spectacularly inept human memory tends to be;

What’s more, a significant proportion of people seem to be highly suggestible and will quite readily change what they remember if given appropriate cues.

In one famous study, Dutch researchers questioned people about a 1992 accident in which a cargo plane had crashed into a block of flats near Schiphol Airport.

Ten months later, they conducted a survey asking if people remembered seeing the TV film of the plane hitting the building. More than half of the respondents said they had. A later study found that the proportion had gone up to two-thirds.

The problem is, there is no TV film of the accident. Asking the question had itself apparently changed people’s memories.

So I think that pretty much puts paid to that argument. In a nutshell: we can barely trust ourselves, let alone our neighbors to give a factual account of an occurrence, but that ‘eyewitness’ accounts in an ahistorical set of documents should be considered more trustworthy is…madness. To be blunt.

Till the next post, then.

Great satirical response from The Onion to the self-righteous crapheads who call themselves “value voters.”

Being an employer in this era of increasing cultural and religious diversity must be quite frustrating with believers of all types demanding fair time for their gods and magical rituals and traditions. Often, it isn’t enough just to have a day off from work for mythological reasons, but increasingly the delusional want to bring religious rituals into work hours which then cuts into production time and burdens other workers with having to pick up the slack. If time was given to every person who wanted special consideration for their delusional beliefs, nothing would ever get done.

Last week, Somali workers at a Colorado meatpacking plant went apeshit over not being allowed time during work hours for prayers during the Muslim observance of Ramadan. Apparently the great and mighty Allah cannot hear their mutterings while working or doing anything else, and this Allah apparently only hears prayer mutterings at magical times of day. We’re not talking a handful of people in this case, we are talking about 220 employees who want to stop working to pray or murmur or pick their ass, whatever. Before someone calls me “intolerant”, I have been a boss and though some have “true delusions”, many more use that special preference to escape from work for a bit.

Christians get special days off, so do Jews for religious observances. Now the Muslims want special breaks from work and who knows what next…carpeted prayer rooms like they are demanding in airports and schools? Who is going to be left to actually do any work? Atheists?

In this case, the company did try to accommodate their sunset prayer delusions by changing break time of the afternoon shift from 9 p.m. to 8 p.m. but that wasn’t good enough, and workers who took unapproved breaks earlier were fired. Now the workers who were fired are bitching and complaining and even getting violent about not having a job to pay for food for their families. They wouldn’t dare stop to even think that their sky boss doesn’t come by to feed them or anything for their loyalty. They will starve without a job given to them by their employers who in turn gives them money to maintain their households. No god comes. Yet they risk their jobs for their pointless beliefs and cry persecution when they aren’t given preferential treatment.

Colo. plant and Somali workers fight over prayer

“With any new ethnic or religious groups, there is an adjustment period as the group becomes part of the American social fabric,”

says one supporter of the delusional fired workers.

And like I asked above, if more and more ethnic and religious groups demand more and more time away from the job for their traditions and magical rituals and special days, who is going to be left to do the job? Atheists? How about we start demanding time for sacred napping or time to get in touch with our inner selves or something? Then bitch and protest till we get our way.