“Crosses to bear”
26 February 2009 by Stardust
In recent days, I’ve gotten a couple of bits of bad news so have been too bummed to blog lately. One of those pieces of news is that a long-time friend of mine was diagnosed with lung cancer and had to have part of her lung removed. The doctors say they got it all, but she has been going through terrible pain and a difficult recovery. This friend, who became a fundie Xian about ten years after our friendship started, has stated in her online journal that her god has given her this “cross to bear” and is “walking with her” and “holding her hand” every step of the way and all that other melodramatic stuff that Xians love to use.
She seems to be handling it well, and is very motivated to get back to normal again, so I would never tell her that she is full of it, not now anyway. I would never kick out the crutch that is keeping her afloat during such a terribly difficult time while she is struggling to overcome and survive.
What I keep to myself, however, is the question “how the hell people can believe their god gives them terrible illnesses, injuries and tragedies as sadistic burdens they must bear in order for this god to walk beside them as they are on their journey to healing?” It would be like a mother or father intentionally breaking the leg of their child so they can lovingly nurse that child back to health! Ludicrous! Sounds like the movie Baby Jane. But this is what my friend believes, that god gives you these “crosses” as “burdens of his love”.
I have often heard Xians say that “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.” Those of us who have stopped to analyze the things Xians say understand how this statement implies that this god is some kind of torturer who sadistically brings pain and suffering on his creatures to get them to be closer to him, or some other “purpose”…and all-the-while they already are devout believers in him. Also, wouldn’t an omniscient, all-power god already know who is a “True Believer” and who is not?
While I will support my friend via encouraging and cheerful emails, I just cannot bring myself to continue reading her blog where all of her posts are stories about the challenges this god asshole is putting on her, and messages from her sheeple friends who write the same crap, that she is strong enough to endure what her god is putting on her.
I found THIS on a Xian website “Good News Ministries”:
To serve Jesus, we must follow Him. Where did He go? To the cross! We’ve grown up with the illusion that happiness comes from being right and protecting ourselves from hurts and from crucifixion. To find true happiness in troubled relationships, we must allow these people to crucify us. It doesn’t make sense in the world’s view, but Jesus showed us from the cross that it makes perfect sense from the perspective of love. He said: Stop fighting AND offer no resistance.
Creepy, isn’t it? Their goal is to get the suffering and downhearted to believe that resistance is futile.
The other bit of news is that an extended family member is getting divorced. The young couple who are getting divorced have never been particularly religious even though they were pressured to get married by fundie family members, one who happens to be a youth pastor. The announcement of divorce first sent shock and grief throughout even our extended family since this couple seemed to be happy and settled. Now that the dust has settled a bit…a week or so, family members are doing what they can to be supportive, however, the fundies are zeroing in for the “kill” since they come hovering around during or after a crisis in hopes of using that sad or difficult time to convert people. They have even convinced this person to fly to that remote Alaskan island to spend some time…(”surround and drown” time!) Get ‘em when they’re down. While I am sure that they will also be of some real human support, they have a bigger goal in mind and you and I know what that is.
I have had that happen even to myself during my hospital stays in recent years. Xians swoop on in with their god crap, hoping to suck another into the god delusion by convincing them that they need the crutch of an imaginary friend instead of simply friends and family being there for them as human beings. That’s who is there to help in reality, anyway.
26 February 2009, on 12:02 pm
I’m sorry to hear about your bad news. It’s tough when the people you care about are going through troubles regardless of their beliefs. It’s even tougher when those troubles are severe like lung cancer… and frustrating when it brings out the fundie leanings.
Best wishes dealing with things and supporting your friends.
26 February 2009, on 12:31 pm
Thanks, Dan. There are other things going on, too concerning my own health issues and some personal family stuff, but am NOT going to resort to “drinking the kool-aid” that the fundies are passing out.
I don’t find even the thought of their kind of god comforting. I find this god of their’s to be a sadistic monster. These are the kinds of people who comfort their children by saying that this god is going to protect them from the monsters under their bed, but then at the same time teach their children that this god hurts them on purpose because he loves them. So extremely contradictory and mentally cruel!
26 February 2009, on 12:54 pm
First, I’m sorry that your friend is suffering – and I’m happy that you’re there for her.
As for Xian suffering: I have come to believe that Xians believe that their almighty fucktard of a god is suffering from Munchausen by proxy syndrome. Your example of a parent intentionally breaking a child’s leg so they can lovingly nurse that child back to health is spot on.
And yet the end result – the final goal of Xianity – is to worship this fucktard god for eternity! All the suffering, the crucifixion of christ and the resurrection and armageddon and the extermination of the world (as outlined in Revelations) is ONLY so that god can be worshiped and adored FOREVER! Which seems merely an extension of Hitler’s Third Reich of 1,000 years to me.
It makes me sick to my stomach – and I mean I’m nauseated. Srsly!
26 February 2009, on 1:25 pm
Yeah, Stardust…sad as it is to witness close friends and family suffering…let alone one’s self…the variations of the “Gob has a plan for you” crap makes absolutely no sense. Of course, it’s only thanks to Science…through the dedication of all the doctors and nurses involved…that your friend has ANY real hope of a positive outcome.
“My, how equal we all are in the Lawd’s ‘Bizarre Creation Plan’!”
Pardon a little mocking, talking to Gob scenario…
“Gee, thanks Lawd for your wonderful, uncanny and bizarre gifts…and unexpected challenges! Too bad I’m not one of your real favorites…you know…born rich, perhaps a total genius, drop dead gorgeous (OK…handsome!), totally healthy, with no overwhelming problems, in a very long la-la-land, somewhat blissful, ideal life?
Come to think of it…just wondering…how come certain “all men are created equal” dudes were chosen to be so-called ‘Prophets’; or were your son, Jeebus’ (which, of course is really you) special twelve gang members…you know…the original Apostles? Hmmm…kinda like…Holy Evangelizing, ‘Hell-fire preaching’ Fishermen…rampaging through Rome (and smelling like rotten fish?)! Did they, perhaps, have a fish symbol (Pisces) tattooed on their arms (or arse) too?”
OK…sorry…totally lame!
BUT…
the whole incredible Buybull tale makes absolutely no rational sense, whatsoever. As we atheists all know, it’s a totally tyrannical, blame the victim tale, based on even more ancient, borrowed and/or stolen, totally made-up, superstitious mythologies; with the intention of mind controlling the blatantly ignorant masses.
In my opinion (repeating for the nth time), ALL religions are really nothing more than fantasy based, sado-masochistic mind control belief systems. They make people feel good; as long as they completely tow the line, and never seriously question the veracity of the official doctrines.
[After that bit; I couldn't help thinking: "Hoffy, where the hell are you?...
"HELP!" ]
26 February 2009, on 1:49 pm
I’ve seen the same Christian “reasoning” applied to staying in a bad marriage. Even if the husband and wife don’t leave each other anymore and do not get along, they should suffer for the sake of their marriage just as Jesus suffered on the cross for us. What crazy shit!
They give greater significance to the act of marriage than they do to the welfare of the persons involved in the marriage. “Sanctity of marriage” is a bullshit term because there is no such thing. The “sanctity” of marriage comes from the sense of commitment and trust between spouses in the marriage and not from some outside force.
26 February 2009, on 2:15 pm
Let’s call such people what they really are; Vampires eager to add “souls” to the collection of their monstrous Big Fairy.
No surprise, their god is a malevolent monster so why would Believers act differently?
26 February 2009, on 2:45 pm
Don’t know if you saw Colbert’s interview on “Turning To Religion” in tough times. It’s a must see though:
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/219342/february-23-2009/turning-to-religion—jim-martin
26 February 2009, on 3:15 pm
Everytime I hear this type of Jobian God inflicted cross to bear I feel that if this Godd did exist he would be diagnosed with Muchausen Syndrome by Proxy.
26 February 2009, on 4:38 pm
Thanks Geoff for that clip. How fitting to this post!
26 February 2009, on 11:23 pm
While not quite this extreme, my mother does “test” our (my father, sibs and I) love in a similar fashion.
She will deliberately do/say something she knows one or more of find terribly annoying. If we then get annoyed, we clearly don’t love her. She does this pretty much constantly. By an odd coincidence, she’s just a bit shy of being a fundie, too.
26 February 2009, on 11:41 pm
I was talking to my mom this evening and she was telling me about the people (mostly my dad’s church friends) who have been coming around to visit her and pray over her since her heart attack a few weeks ago. She says that as they pray she wonders to herself, if gawd really gave a damn he wouldn’t have let her have the heart attack in the first place. We chuckle about it. Both of us agree that we only sit through those prayers because it makes those other people feel better, doesn’t do a thing for my mom. The only reason she’s probably alive is because she knew the signs of a heart attack in women (no pain, just nausea and a little breathlessness then a bit of pain in her teeth) and got to the hospital in time for treatment. They did an angioplasty to remove a blockage. People should pray to doctors.
27 February 2009, on 12:29 am
Geoff,
We never miss “The Colbert Report”. That episode was so very funny! Love the multiplying loaves and fishes!
27 February 2009, on 1:00 am
Stardust
First you should go and see your friend and gently chide her in remembering that you are NOT xian. but that is ok and you hope she recovers. stay away from god stuff and it should be ok. Mostly what I have found is that you are the one preson who will get them to open up to their deepest concerns because they Know that you are rational. Personally I enjoy their trust in me but not their confessions.
27 February 2009, on 9:51 am
Jimmer^^
My friend knows that I am not a xian, but she doesn’t give up and is using her recovery blog as some sort of witness for her imaginary friend who inflicted her with a terrible disease. Why point me to that blog when she knows I don’t buy into all that? Because, like abused kids still love their abuser parents, these god believers love their abusive sky boss and want everyone else to be abused, too. In love, of course.
I’ve asked her before not to send me god crap, and via email and regular conversation and she is pretty good to respect that much of the time, but she does talk about Jeebus and Gawd sometimes and says she can’t help it because she and god and Jeebus are all one and she can’t help when they “Speak through her”.
We are fine via email and regular conversations and I can let a few god comments roll off my back. But now that she’s gotten sick, she is going to try to wedge her religious filled god blog on me. She tells me everything that is going on with her illness and how she is feeling via email and in person, so I don’t need to read the blog to find that out. Her recovery blog is more about how god has tortured her and now walking with her, and using her experience to witness to others that they need to be tortured too! If people behaved this way with any other thing, such as trying to force all your family members and friends to talk to their imaginary giant talking rabbit, for example, they would be taken away to the mental ward.
27 February 2009, on 12:39 pm
She had part of her brain removed.
At least now she has an excuse to believe.
You do not want to remove her crutch when she is down, but people like her(your family) make a point to come out to see you before an operation. Never have the time to see you when you are well.
Sounds mean but kick out the crutch, find out you can stand on your own, and live whatever life you have left without wasting it praying.
No more mister Nice Guy.
27 February 2009, on 1:29 pm
OOC, she also had a lobe of her lung removed. Not fun from what I hear and a very painful thing to recover from.
Sadly, this is true. They come around where they can say their magical incantations in their heads to themselves while coming to see me before a major surgery. Then after I am home and recovering, they don’t bother coming around.
Some people would not survive without the crutch. I would say use whatever crutch you want but don’t try to tell me I need the crutch of your imaginary friend. They are still going to pray (wish) and keep on trying to convince themselves that their abusive sky boss loves them, and if that is what they want to do, it’s a free country. It’s the way these people advertise their crazy beliefs that is irritating with their in your face attempts to convert others.
27 February 2009, on 1:54 pm
Just tried that link to the xian web site. Can’t believe I just read that: Acknowledge your frustration as sin.”
That’s a new one. Don’t remember that one in the big 10 – Thou shalt not get frustrated. Since when was that a sin? Seems to me that incident in the temple where Jesus overturned the change tables he was displaying some frustration, or maybe I just don’t know what frustration is.
Next time an xian starts getting frustrated with me when I won’t admit to the existence of their gawd I’ll remember this one. “Better walk away, folks, you don’t want to start sinning again.”
27 February 2009, on 2:05 pm
Thou shalt not get frustrated. Since when was that a sin?
This explains the reason my sister’s new husband (though he is a very nice person who does nice things for my elderly parents, etc.) he behaves so much like an android..he doesn’t get excited, he is very prim and proper, and they both are fundie Xians. I’ve never seen him laugh out loud or even crack a big smile, and she says when he gets angry or upset he just goes into his office for awhile. I never thought about them thinking that getting good and pissed-off frustrated is a sin!
27 February 2009, on 2:39 pm
Here’s another sin that I don’t remember ever reading about in the Babble: Recognize that your desire for other people to change is a sin. This should work for you when they try to change your views on gawd. Remind them that their desire to have you become a xian is a sin. Ha ha…. Gee, one really has to be double-jointed to manage the mental gymnastics.
27 February 2009, on 2:43 pm
Recognize that your desire for other people to change is a sin.
^^Lynda, you said in your comment above what I immediately thought of to say, that witnessing to people and trying to change their lives is a sin. Telling us to change from the atheists and to get us on the god wagon is sinful. Shame on them! Their whole website, by their own standards, is sinful.
27 February 2009, on 3:03 pm
No matter what rational tack you take with ALL Fundies, their Gob is ‘perfect’, and everything that happens MUST be a part of “His” Almighty Plan…good, bad, or indifferent. “He” can’t possibly be wrong or frustrated in any way. Of course, they contradict themselves all over the place with their blaming the victim jabbering of “Gob is angry, sad” etc. with what we mortals are doing; which we would immediately point out as an obvious imperfection. Actually, the Muslims seem to have a much easier time with totally accepting the “Gob willing” shtick; like…”Allah willing, I’ll see you tomorrow”…or…”Allah willing, I won’t poke my finger through the toilet paper, when wiping my arse”…etc.
Bottom-line, in an Almighty, Tyrannical deity scenario…no matter what…we’re wrong, everything we do merits absolutely nothing, including everything Doctors, etc. do…you name it…and everything perceived in any way as wrong is totally OUR fault.
There is absolutely no winning with Fundies in anything approaching any kind of rational discussion…it’s a total waste of time. The only hope for these folks, if any, is very much like we’ve all experienced in our own evolution of consciousness…the individual awakens, COMPLETELY ON THEIR OWN, to the fact that they’ve been brainwashed since childhood, etc.
It’s kinda like…metaphorically speaking…perceiving a “Tiny Crack in the Cosmic Egg”; which then may eventually lead to the oh-so gradual dissipation of various false religious paradigms.
27 February 2009, on 5:01 pm
Bottom-line, in an Almighty, Tyrannical deity scenario…no matter what…we’re wrong, everything we do merits absolutely nothing, including everything Doctors, etc. do…you name it…and everything perceived in any way as wrong is totally OUR fault.
Yep, Chuck, it’s all our fault when things go wrong.
This is a bit off the topic, but I still have never heard a believer explain how this god manages to know “every hair on every head” of billions of people, past, present and future and keeps track of billions of illnesses, surgeries, sporting events, baptisms, marriage ceremonies, etc. Billions and billions of people with billions upon billions of problems..and that’s just some of it! High school football games, sporting events of all kinds school, minor league and pro. Talent shows, auditions, sailboat races, hot dog eating contests, beauty contests, and on and on and on. Just exactly how does this god do it all? No believer is able to explain how god keeps track of everything from a teeny tiny hangnail on your teeny tiny chihuahua dog’s little toe, to guiding cruise missiles that will destroy enemies of each god believing country who think the great sky general is on their side. Ludicrous, just ludicrous!
28 February 2009, on 2:08 am
^ “Just exactly how does this god do it all?”
[ala George Hamilton as Dracula?: "Do What?"]
Well Stardust…It’s way beyond our puny, earthly, mortal, comprehension, doncha-know.
Of course, the ‘Buybull’ and ‘Who-ran’ are obviously “Kindergarten Cosmologies”; and as I like to refer to their contents…
“Amazing DIS-grace!”
[A tune, incidentally (the original title, of course), which bugs me even more than that old lame "Satchmo" pop tune:
"(It's a) Wonderful World".]
You know the lyric, ending in…
“…and I said to myself…
What the fuck’s goin’ on?”…or perhaps…
“Why the fuck am I here?”
Hmmm…
I just might do a multi-track recording of that, sometime…in honor, perhaps, of George “Oort Cloud” Carlin?
Speaking of the “Oort Cloud”…[I know; rather OT...however]:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oort_cloud
28 February 2009, on 10:08 am
”Allah willing, I won’t poke my finger through the toilet paper, when wiping my arse”
LOL! Oh, that’s why my cheap toilet tissue keeps disintegrating during my morning constitutional. Allah wills it. Makes perfect sense now!
perceiving a “Tiny Crack in the Cosmic Egg”; which then may eventually lead to the oh-so gradual dissipation of various false religious paradigms.
I like the imagery, ChuckA.
1 March 2009, on 10:13 am
Lynda,
They call that “John Wayne Toilet Paper”. It don’t take no shit.
Sounds like Offspring’s “Self Esteem”…
“The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care, right? Yeah!”