Is prevarication a course in seminary colleges? Or do the liars and frauds just naturally navigate toward the ministerial profession? Our special today comes to you from Adelaide, Australia. Yes, we envy our friends in Oz for their lower numbers of Crusaders for Christ, but someone turned over a rather large rock and look who crawled out:

Disgraced pastor Michael Guglielmucci, porn addict (since age 12, no less), who for two years pretended to have cancer and used his “disease” to fleece his flock and get support. He even made a recording of a song, called “Healing,” sung at one point with an oxygen tube coming out of his nose. Here is a YouTube video of the song, with lyrics subtitled. It’s a painfully long and droning, repetitive POS. But I supply it to highlight the delightful irony of the lyrics juxtaposed to the situation Mr. Guglielmucci finds himself in.
>Healer-Guglielmucci-Planetshakers-Hillsong
From an interview with Michael’s father Danny Gugielmucci in The Australian,
“When he was about 12 he did vomit all the time, he’d get really really sick,” he said.
“He was in the Adelaide Children’s Hospital for seven weeks at one stage; he didn’t eat and we thought we were going to lose him.
“They took out his appendix, thinking that it might be that, but they realised that it wasn’t.
“They gave us the option of putting him in a psychiatric ward to see if there was something psychological but we felt uncomfortable with that at the time. (emphasis mine)
“We signed him out from hospital and then he would go a few months and then he would get sick again.
“We’d always take him to hospital; we’d always do the proper thing but they couldn’t get to the bottom of it until now.”
Mr Guglielmucci said he and his wife were in “absolute shock” to discover their son was not terminally ill.
“We have watched our son go through what we thought was cancer,” he said.
“My wife and I, over the past two years, have watched him vomit in buckets, having nosebleeds, and even his hair fell out in clumps at one stage. What the hell kind of porn is he into?
“Every time we saw him, we saw symptoms. He stayed with us for a while where we had to put a special air-conditioner in one of the rooms because he would heat up so much in the middle of winter.
I hear porn will do that for ya.
“He had this cold air-conditioner blowing on him to try to keep the heat down. As a professional minister I’ve stood in front of my congregation and cried and said to pray for my son.
“I’ve travelled the world asking people to pray for him. Can you imagine what a horrible thing it would be if I was playing a game? Well, it’s not like they invested anything in it…or did you pass the plate for him too?
“To be honest, I ask myself as a father, ‘What did I miss, what did I not do? What could I have done better?’ ” Um, maybe let him be analyzed and get therapy back when he was 12?
It seems the stress of living a double life guilted Michael into confessing to his minister father and his mother about the fake cancer and his 16 year porn addiction. They thought he had called them urgently to his side because he only had a short time to live. They were shocked- SHOCKED!- to find out he wasn’t dying! His wife of seven years was clueless also. He is NOW getting the psychiatric help he needs and the docs concur that he’s a pretty sick puppy. Wifey’s getting counseling too; “hasn’t made any decisions yet”.
The parents were last seen wandering around and mumbling, “He’s addicted to porn? Why couldn’t he just be dying? ”
Hat tip to my buddy “What” over at NGB for suggesting this post.
Update:
PASTOR Michael Guglielmucci has been told by church officials to report to police, who will investigate what has happened to money raised during his cancer deception.
The Australian Christian Churches told The Advertiser yesterday (Aug. 22) that it was auditing Mr Guglielmucci’s bank accounts, which included money donated from people touched by his hit song Healer.
{snip}
The ACC has promised that all money raised deceptively will be returned or donated to charity.
The Assemblies of God, Australia’s largest Pentecostal movement, adopted its new name of Australian Christian Churches in 2007.
The former pastor with one of Australia’s biggest youth churches, Planetshakers, inspired hundreds of thousands of young Christians around the world as he performed with an oxygen tube in his nose.
Healer became an anthem of faith for believers, many of whom are suffering illnesses and were praying for Mr Guglielmucci. The song, featured on Hillsong’s latest album, debuted at No. 2 on the ARIA charts.
In a YouTube video, he tells how the news from the hospital that he had “quite an aggressive form of cancer” inspired his song. “I just went home. I knew I had to go home and needed to get alone with God,” he says in the video.
“I walked into my studio at home and for some reason. . . I sat at a piano and began to worship.
“I sang that song from start to finish. I was crying. I just realised that God had given me an incredible gift and I realise that song was going to be my strength.”
Church community sources said Mr Guglielmucci attended his medical appointments alone.